Posts Tagged ‘trauma’

How a Caregiver’s Trauma Can Impact a Child’s Development




When someone experiences trauma, its physical and emotional effects can sometimes impact their children – and this can begin in utero.



You see, during times of stress, the body releases cortisol – and as you know, that’s one of the ways our body helps us cope with physically or emotionally difficult situations.



But when trauma elevates cortisol to unhealthy levels, it can have an epigenetic impact – not only on the client, but on their children as well.



So how can this happen?



Well, we created an infographic you can use with clients to help them visualize how trauma can get passed on through caregivers.


5 Unhealthy Relationship Patterns Childhood Trauma Sets for Us By Darius Cikanavicius, Author, Certified Coach ~ 3 min read





“When we’re born, we don’t have any concept of what a healthy relationship looks like. A small child lacks perspective and the ability to critically evaluate their environment. They also lack independence, by the very nature of being a small, helpless, dependent child, and therefore must accept and justify their relationship with their caregivers in order to survive, no matter how bad that relationship is.


Furthermore, our relationships with our primary caregivers, and our early relationships in general, become blueprints for our future relationships. And so whatever model we are raised with, it will likely become what we will consciously or unconsciously seek in later relationships.


Let’s explore five common relationship models or roles that people adopt as a result of adverse childhood relationships and social environments.

1. Distrustful

People who come from a childhood environment that was chaotic, unpredictable, stressful, or downright abusive often have trust issues later in life. As a result, it is very difficult for them to have fulfilling relationships as an adult.

They tend to think that you can’t trust anyone, that everyone is completely selfish, that nobody would ever care about you, that you can’t rely on anyone and have to do everything yourself, that others will necessarily hurt you, and so on.

They also have difficulties building emotional bonds as it can be very difficult for them to open up, express their feelings, and believe that others have good intentions or are telling the truth.


2. Idealizing

Another relationship dynamic is when you idealize others, especially romantic partners or authorities, and tend to psychologically depend on others.

People who lacked love and attention as children tend to project their fantasies of an ever-loving parent onto significant people later in life. This is in the hope that they will finally have a caregiver who loves them unconditionally and is everything they want them to be.

Such an adult is likely to have a fantasy of what the other person is instead of actually accepting others for who they really are. Here, you are easily infatuated or enamored with the other person, and then gradually become more and more disgruntled and frustrated when you are forced to accept reality that they are not who you want them to be.

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