Posts Tagged ‘Thought’

Hope has changed, more a big picture gaze for me now

Faith In Humanity Restored – 13 Pics

Looks like he gives hope to others.

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My meditation practice has altered what I hope for, instead of personal benefit, my hopes are more altruistic, big picture desires.

I hope every child has security, shelter, love and opportunity.

I hope homelessness would end.

I hope we would all see this journey is not one of competition but one of unity, traveling together, helping one another.

I would hope all would see happiness is not an isolated condition, you can not be happy with suffering all around you.

I hope hate dies and kindness consumes all of us.

I hope you read and respond to this post.

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It is not the separate self that seeks peace and happiness.

Pixabay: Bessi

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It is not the separate self that seeks peace and happiness.

The separate self is an object–a thought or a feeling–and an object cannot do anything, let alone seek happiness.

Rather, the search for peace and happiness is itself the experience of peace and happiness, modulated through the sense of separation.

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My two cents: Our Separate Self (Ego), a thought or feeling, is a mirage.

Our treasure map of thought leads only to frustration and suffering.

Experience your senses, observe them not narrate or judge them!

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Peace may be thought of as an absence of a sense of agitation or resistance, and happiness as the absence of a sense of lack.

Pixabay: PaliGraficas

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Presence: the Art of Peace and happiness

“Peace and happiness are not states of the body or mind.

All states of the body and mind, however pleasant, appear and disappear in Awareness.

Peace may be thought of as an absence of a sense of agitation or resistance, and happiness as the absence of a sense of lack.

This absence of the sense of agitation, resistance and lack is our natural condition. It is inherent in our true nature of aware Presence.

The arising of the sense of resistance and lack eclipses the peace and happiness that are naturally present within us, and it is responsible for the contraction of our self into an apparently separate entity.

This imaginary entity is defined by its rejection of the now, the rejection of the current situation, and its subsequent search for peace and happiness in the future.

In fact, the separate self is not an entity.

It is an activity of avoiding and seeking.

This sense of resistance and lack is the essential ingredient of the imaginary inside self.

In resistance we are pulled towards a past; in the sense of lack we seek something other than the current situation, and this propels us towards a future.

Resistance and seeking are the two essential forms of the separate self and are responsible for the avoidance of the now.

In order to avoid the now, we have to imagine the ‘not now’, which is time.

Thus, the separate, inside self is the mother of time.”

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Recovering From A Polarized Freeze Response

Pixabay: geralt

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“Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving”

Recovery for freeze types involves three key challenges. First, their positive relational experiences are few if any. They are therefore extremely reluctant to enter into the type of intimate relationship that can be transformative.

They are even less likely to seek the aid of therapy. Moreover, those who manage to overcome this reluctance often spook easily and quickly terminate.

Second, freeze types have two commonalities with fight types. They are less motivated to try to understand the effects of their childhood traumatization. Many are unaware that they have a troublesome inner critic or that they are in emotional pain.

Furthermore, they tend to project the perfectionistic demands of the critic onto others rather than onto themselves. This survival mechanism helped them as children to use the imperfections of others as justification for isolation. In the past, isolation was smart, safety-seeking behavior.

Third, even more than workaholic flight types, freeze types are in denial about the life narrowing consequences of their singular adaptation. Some freeze types that I have worked with seem to have significant periods of contentment with their isolation.

I think they may be able to self-medicate by releasing the internal opioids that the animal brain is programmed to release when danger is so great that death seems imminent.

Internal opioid release is more accessible to freeze types because the freeze response has its own continuum that culminates with the collapse response. The collapse response is an extreme abandonment of consciousness.

It appears to be an out-of-body experience that is the ultimate dissociation. It can sometimes be seen in prey animals that are about to be killed. I have seen nature films of small animals in the jaws of a predator that show it letting go so thoroughly that its death appears to be painless.

However, the opioid production that some freeze types have access to, only takes the survivor so far before its analgesic properties no longer function. Numbed out contentment then morphs into serious depression. This in turn can lead to addictive self-medicating with substances like alcohol, marijuana and narcotics.

Alternatively, the freeze type can gravitate toward ever escalating regimens of anti-depressants and anxiolytics (anti-anxiety drugs). I also suspect that some schizophrenics are extremely traumatized freeze types who dissociate so thoroughly that they cannot find their way back to reality.

Several of my freeze type respondents highly recommend a self-help book by Suzette Boon, entitled Coping with Trauma-related Dissociation. This book is filled with very helpful work sheets that are powerful tools for recovering. More than any other type, the freeze type usually requires a therapeutic relationship, because their isolation prevents them from discovering relational healing through a friendship.

That said, I know of some instances where good enough relational healing has come through pets and the safer distant type of human healing that can be found in books and online internet groups.

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Worry, Worry, Worry, Worry, Worry, Worry,

Pixabay: cafepampas

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We can not fix everything at one time. I believe a laser approach to healing works far better than a shotgun blast.

Working on one specific issue, symptom or habit at a time has benefitted me the most.

Let’s concentrate on Worry!

A little bit of worry, momentary anxiety is not what we are addressing.

If you are a worrier, life is dominated by an over active mind, finding danger in the near future.

Our worrier can spot danger no one else can see or sense.

Worriers create suffering that may somehow happen later.

Worry is predicting future loss. Worry enough and that prediction becomes reality.

First, Worry robs us of any chance of happiness, now.

All my time to invest in myself is lost on negative, emotional noise.

The Worry ship is captained by our “Ego”.

Champion of being upset, outraged, jealous, angry and anxious, our ego never finds another “Ego” equal to it.

When we Worry, the “Ego” is in total control.

The “Ego” is always in control when we venture into the past and future without direction.

If your a worrier, leaving this moment to think is like a beer to an alcoholic or a fix for a drug addict.

Worry seems to have a power to consume an entire life.

How does worry impact your life?

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the Thinker has patterns

Pixabay: makeitclear

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The Buddhists call it non-dualism, the “Ego” is created, like a ventriloquists dummy.

In today’s vernacular our Facebook page carries only the things we want others to see. It is the persona we present as I, me, mine.

That persona wants to keep up appearances to the outside world.

Our feelings and emotions become connected with performance and behavior that gets approval.

We can get lost chasing this lochness monster.

Can you tolerate looking below the surface, observing how the “Ego” feels and makes decisions.

Ever wonder why all that effort never brings the satisfaction you desire?

Can you tolerate not being important?

Can you tolerate not controlling, or being right or most powerful?

Can you just be in the present moment without a construct (”Ego”).

Do we need to compete with other “Egos” or can we exist in harmony, sharing this journey.

What are your patterns?

What will you do for approval?

Does that satisfaction last or quench your desire?

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A frightened little boy faces adulthood

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Being a narcissist, my father demanded total control, I do not think he meant to shame me. Shame was a by product of the constant criticism, his way of making me a great baseball player.

My father had a dream, having to get married because of a pregnancy at 17; my mom was 16, robbed him of his dream.

He would live his dream through me, he would take all the credit and I would be criticized with every imperfect move he deemed unacceptable.

Even healed, life is much different for a severely abused little boy.

I live a quiet life, I try to give and have plenty of gratitude for myself and others.

Being happy go lucky, knowing everything will turn out all right, I will never know the feeling.

Life is a struggle. This is my challenge, I accept and do my best.

Surviving my father, then healing, uncovered incredible skills along with the damage.

My willpower was a monster. Athletically I could push my body through pain and barriers others could not.

In sports I could defeat stronger, quicker, more athletic guys with willpower and smarts.

Psychologically, I could wear down an opponent, exploit their weaknesses and defeat them.

Unfortunately none of these conquests elevated my unworthy “Ego” or soothed my damaged inner child.

Some of us desire power, money, or status, my father gave me a goal of baseball stardom. He wanted his son to be the best baseball player ever to live. I was more unnatural than natural.

My physical traits were average at best, speed, oh I was slow of foot. I was average size and strength, a middle of the pack kid with a violent possessed narcissistic father.

I felt like a failure at 35. I had graduated college with a BS in chemistry, played seven years professional baseball and now enjoyed success in private life.

None of that dinted my unworthy soul.

Trophies, hall of fame awards were but momentary distractions, trauma ruled my world.

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