Posts Tagged ‘Self’

The Freeze type and dissociative defense




Complex PTSD: From surviving to thriving.

Of all the 4F’s, freeze types seem to have the deepest unconscious belief that people and danger are synonymous. While all 4F types commonly suffer from social anxiety as well, freeze types typically take a great deal more refuge in solitude.

Some freeze types completely give up on relating to others and become extremely isolated. Outside of fantasy, many also give up entirely on the possibility of love.

Right-Brain Dissociation: It is often the scapegoat or the most profoundly abandoned child, “the lost child”, who is forced to habituate to the freeze response. Not allowed to successfully employ fight, flight or fawn responses, the freeze type’s defenses develop around classical or right-brain dissociation.

Dissociation allows the freeze type to disconnect from experiencing his abandonment pain, and protects him from risky social interactions-any of which might trigger feelings of being retraumatized.

If you are a freeze type, you may seek refuge and comfort by dissociating in prolonged bouts of sleep, daydreaming, wishing and right-brain-dominant activities like TV, online browsing and video games.

Freeze types sometimes have or appear to have Attention Deficit Disorder [ADD]. They often master the art of changing the internal channel whenever inner experience becomes uncomfortable.

When they are especially traumatized or triggered, they may exhibit a schizoid-like detachment from ordinary reality. And in worst case scenarios, they can decompensate into a schizophrenic experience like the main character in the book, I Never Promised You a Rose Garden.




Aware Presence part two, 2

Ferrari Enzo That Was Split in Half in PCH Crash Sells for $1.76 Million

Wrecked at 201 mph both driver and passenger walked away unharmed

Full story here:




From “The Art of Peace and Happiness”

“If someone were to ask us to turn our attention towards a sensation in the body, a thought or image in the mind or an object in the world, we would have no difficulty, just as we have no difficulty in turning our attention towards these words.

But what if someone were to ask us to turn it towards our self, towards the aware Presence that knows the objects of the body, mind and world?

Try to do that. For instance, try to turn your attention towards whatever it is that is seeing these words.

Some of us may be inclined to turn our attention towards a sensation around the eyes or head, but notice that the eyes and the head are themselves sensations of which we are aware.

Try again to turn your attention towards whatever it is that is aware of these sensations, and is not itself a sensation.

In which direction do we turn? Notice that any direction in which we turn is always towards some kind of an object, more or less subtle.

If we take our attention away from that object and try to turn it towards whatever it is that knows or experiences that object, we are always frustrated.

Every direction turns out to be the wrong one.

It is like standing up and trying to take a step towards one’s own body; every step is in the wrong direction. And yet, at the same time, no step takes us farther away.”



Aware Presence part one, 1,



From “The Art of Peace and Happiness”

For a mind that has become accustomed for so many years to knowing only objects–that is, to focusing its attention and interests on the body, mind and world alone–it is inevitable that the desire to know oneself as some kind of a subtle object will persist.

We will search for this aware Presence and try to make it an object of our knowledge or experience.

However, if we return again and again to the experiential understanding that our self is the knower or witness of all objects, it becomes clear that it cannot itself be an object.

It is our simple experience that our self is present and aware but has no objective qualities.

As this experiential understanding deepens, so the attempt to search for our self as an object decreases correspondingly.

But the inability to know our self as an object does not mean that our self cannot be known.

It simply means that it cannot be known in the way that an object is usually known, that is, through the subject–object relationship.

Our true self is known in a more intimate and direct way, simply through being.

In fact, we discover that the only way to know our self is to be our self and not to mistake our self for any kind of an object.




My two cents: The author details that this “Aware Presence” is not contained in the mind or body.

It is the observer of the mind and body.

It is not limited by the mind or body.

It has unlimited ability. 😎



Change is most difficult



In this moment, right now I shower myself with kindness.

In this moment, can you tolerate letting go of emotional judgments or any negative thoughts?

We are starting small with only this next moment, not the rest of our lives.

Work on small, specific, concrete changes.

Change can not happen in our past and the future is nothing but speculation based on past events.

Try to be present for the next half hour.

Find out what living in the present feels like.

My meditation practice built my focus, application during the day helped change my mind.

Change does not happen easily, we need to work through the hard times when progress seems to grind to a halt.

We need to overcome mans nature to willingly suffer a familiar pain instead of trying to heal (change).

Takes persistence and courage to face our fears and make changes.



11 Easy Ways to Practice Mindfulness in Your Daily Life By Melissa Eisler



“It can be difficult to stay mindful amid the to-dos of day-to-day life.




In fact, a study at Harvard found that people spend 46.9 percent of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they are doing.




This kind of mindlessness is the norm, as the mind tends to spend its time focused on the past, the future, and trying out should have’s and what if’s. The study also found that allowing the brain to run on auto-pilot like this can make people unhappy. “A wandering mind is an unhappy mind,” the researchers said.



What can you do to become more mindful in your daily life? You can start by incorporating easy ways to practice mindfulness during the routine activities you’re already doing every day, like brushing your teeth and walking the dog. Here are 11 ways to practice mindfulness in your everyday life … and don’t stop here, these are just ideas and thought-starters.


You can practice mindfulness anytime, anywhere, and with anyone by showing up and being fully engaged in the here and now. Mindfulness is the simple act of paying attention and noticing and being present in whatever you’re doing. When most people go about their daily lives, their minds wander from the actual activity they are participating in, to other thoughts or sensations. When you’re mindful, you are actively involved in the activity with all of your senses instead of allowing your mind to wander.


So try these out and watch your mundane daily to-dos turn into your mindfulness practice.

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A Healing journey has ________.

A Healing journey has setbacks, presumed loss and days of confusion.


I judged myself harshly as failing, when a setback arrived. My erroneous judgment and subsequent search for why, powered PTSD.


Trying to make sense of, trying to find the rational reason to an irrational disorder (behavior) deepened my suffering.


I ended up agoraphobic following this ill-fated cognitive endeavor.


Healing needs no understanding of the irrational trauma feelings to heal.


Relief came when I learned to not think or cognitively engage trauma.


When I learned to let go, to live in the present moment, PTSD lost power.


I learned not to waste time and energy wondering why.


Why me, why can’t I solve this disorder, why does this not make rational sense, disappeared from my consciousness.


Leave guilt and judgment alone.


Surround yourself with kindness to overpower these negative thoughts and emotions.
We can be happy with this next breath.

Happiness does not happen in the future, so quit planning and start living.

Look for happiness today. It surrounds all of us.

Fear part two: our perception


The mechanism of fear (fight or flight mechanism) contains no fear inside itself. It is just our defense mechanism, preparing us for a perceived lethal threat.


PTSD has temporary access to the switch activating our adrenal stress response (fight or flight). Real danger is never present when my childhood PTSD activates now.


Think about that! No real danger can exist when my abuser is dead. He can not hurt me now.


The fear created comes from the storyline I add.


With my focused breath, I can dissipate the Tunnel Vision, the Auditory Exclusion, the Loss of fine motor skills, the Tai-chi-Psyche, and the increased heart rate, blood pressure and respiration.

What is left?


Our trauma thoughts and emotions standing by themselves.

So much easier to live with and heal when our fight or flight mechanism does not scare us.


Our defense mechanism is there to help save our life, not make it a living hell.


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