Posts Tagged ‘Self’

The CONTRAST before and after HEALING !!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://pixabay.com/users/maria-anne-595075/

.

.

Severe childhood abuse impacted how my mind wired together, besides filling my amygdala with trauma laced implicit memories.

Even after healing, remnants exist in the recesses of my mind.

Before I healed, suffering was compounded by thoughts that were endless, intrusive and completely unworthy in nature.

Severely abused kids carry the damage not only in the mind but throughout our bodies.

Hard to describe an upside down nervous system erupting double digit times everyday.

Healing was long, arduous and painful for me.

The contrast before and after healing, Startling.

Just the elimination of intrusive thoughts seemed Euphoric.

The absence of suffering can be considered Exhilarating on its own.

The cessation of never feeling good enough Ecstatic.

This concept like PTSD can not be described by words but experienced in real life.

Beyond the euphoric and ecstatic, the ability to let the noise go and enter this moment unencumbered by unworthy thought, seems miraculous at first.

Yes, I came back to earth after a while.

Learning to accept and not question or resent my childhood abuse was not easy.

Moving forward, my childhood still can be awakened and unleashed.

This lives a short existence now, but I admit, yearning for happy go lucky moments, still overtakes my desires.

I guess we all wish for things we will never experience.

That desire is not a need and fades as quickly as unwanted thought, now.

Moral of the story: Never give up, never give in, fight for your wellbeing.

It is the journey we need to improve, not the destination.

The destination is always death, so enjoy the ride as much as possible.

That does not mean chasing pleasure but have enormous gratitude and be a world class giver for a start.

Have a good journey today.

.

.

Mindfulness versus Selfishness

https://pixabay.com/users/bknis-2559320/

.

.

A mindful existence resembles a giver, a person with a healthy list of things he/she is grateful for. A selfish existence brings a sense of lack, a takers mentality.

Kindness, compassion and empathy are other traits a mindful person strives to incorporate into daily life.

Selfishness could be considered as the antithesis of mindfulness.

Mindfulness strives to do no harm, first to ourselves, then to all we meet.

Selfishness leads to suffering, a heightened sense of lack haunts us.

Happiness is not found out there, that sense of lack is created by our unworthy “Ego”.

Change your behavior, be kind instead of selfish, be a giver not a taker, use compassion, be a helper instead of a harsh critic.

Possessions, status, and power are fleeting, kindness to others, giving, lasts beyond our death.

We are on this journey together, not in competition.

There is plenty for all of us, realize happiness is tied to how we treat those less fortunate.

Release that sense of lack, increase your awareness of the gratitude before you.

Smile, be kind, be compassionate, give and be happy.

.

.

Personal Identity: who cares

Pixabay: DarkWorkX

.

.

Excerpt from the book “The Unbelievable Happiness of What Is”

“Without even realizing it, you draw much of your felt sense of personal identity—that is, who you think you are—primarily from strongly held and often unconscious beliefs.

In a very real sense, your beliefs define who and what you think you are, so a threat to your beliefs can feel like a threat to your very existence.“

.

.

.

My two cents: Emotions do not define us, we all have the same emotions, if anything they link is together with shared experience.

Our mindfulness practice aims to let identity lose importance.

Being present is far more important than something that is ephemeral, transparent and fleeting (An Emotion).”

I am so much more than an emotion, my brilliance shines in this present moment, beyond any judgment Marty holds.

Another practice is to let negative emotions flow on through, resentment, jealousy, anger, doubt, worry, feeling sorry for ourself, etc.

.

.

Thoughts are an appendage, there beyond your outstretched arm?

Pixabay: StockSnap

.

.

Thoughts are air without attention, harmless, unnoticed noise.

Thoughts are an appendage, our true self, soul is our core.

Let’s explore that hypothesis. Meditation/Mindfulness practice continues when our eyes are open and we are in the waking world.

The next thought that our mind becomes enthralled with, pull back and observe it.

We can isolate this thought, separate it with our focus.

Without attention, we can witness how transparent and fleeting a thought becomes.

We witness the thought arriving, then without attention, fade quickly, like it never existed.

We can see how powerless any thought or emotion is without energy, attention.

If we want to be happy or heal, where we place our attention is our greatest power.

.

.

Problems are always present

Pixabay: geralt / 20634 images

.

.

“Nothing to Grasp” by Joan Tollifson

“I’ve discovered that there is no end to problems.

When we cure one problem, a new one emerges.

But this only becomes a source of suffering if we imagine it should or could be otherwise.

In fact, the turbulent, cloudy weather is as integral to the whole as the clear, sunny weather.

.

.

My two cents: We must endure life’s hard times to earn the better times.

Accept the challenges life presents as part of the journey.

We are lacking nothing that prevents us from being happy.

Nothing!

.

.

Sunday morning Insights

Pixabay: Larisa-K

.

.

Sufferers of PTSD, depression or other disorders are generally confused and anxious.

Fear mixed with intense anxiety stops the mind from functioning properly.

We sense danger from a perceived lethal threat. We want to escape as quickly as possible, our defense mechanism has complete control.

Unfortunately, going out in public, say to a restaurant, would fire my fight or flight mechanism without my consent.

Somehow these situations linked to my abusive childhood. Our triggers seem to pick their own scenario.

Cognitively I understood no real danger existed, my defense mechanism did not agree.

Healing for me, consisted of sitting calmly, focused on my breath, as my nervous system fired violently.

My focus released the scary thoughts, then concentrated on the connected body sensations. For me, my solar plexus is where my trauma manifested inside the body.

Making friends with the bodies nervous system, intimately knowing (being with) the sensations, integrated my trauma.

Being able to build focus on the breath is body armor for the anxiety disorders.

The breath controls our nervous system and heavily influences our defense mechanism.

Navy Seals are taught to dissipate fear by extending their exhales.

Cortisol and adrenaline can be used for fuel instead of being afraid or triggered.

PTSD has access to the switch firing our fight or flight mechanism, we have final control of our nervous system.

Remember trauma is stored in the right hemisphere, inside our amygdala.

We can not access stored trauma consciously.

Meditation grants us direct access to our stored trauma.

No miracle just current neuroscience.

.

.

Updated: Fear our perception

19D85C0F-5B5D-41DF-88F8-3A8C3347A032

.
.
The mechanism of fear (fight or flight mechanism) contains no fear inside itself. It is just our defense mechanism, preparing us for a perceived lethal threat.

 

PTSD has temporary access to the switch activating our adrenal stress response (fight or flight). Real danger is never present when my childhood PTSD activates now.

 

Think about that! No real danger can exist when my abuser is dead. He can not hurt me now.

 

The fear created comes from the storyline I add.

 

With my focused breath, I can dissipate the Tunnel Vision, the Auditory Exclusion, the Loss of fine motor skills, the Tai-chi-Psyche, and the increased heart rate, blood pressure and respiration.

What is left?

 

Our trauma thoughts and emotions standing by themselves.

So much easier to live with and heal when our fight or flight mechanism does not scare us.

 

Our defense mechanism is there to help save our life, not make it a living hell.
.
.

86BF8E4F-8AFD-4FA5-B6E7-960112D54DFB

%d bloggers like this: