Posts Tagged ‘PTSD’

Dissociation: The most read and responded subject



This post and responses are in the header, Dissociation. This subject is by far the most read and commented topic.
Dissociation in its most basic description, is leaving this present moment to think about the past or future. It is an unreal practice, action. We create a parallel world, a world filled with treachery for our minds. What we create lacks reality! Dissociation takes us to a place, the past or future where happiness does not exist.


Dissociation is the only symptom we need to address. It is the linchpin, the king, the all-powerful symptom, the leader of the pack. Dissociation fuels trauma and all other symptoms. Without the duration of dissociation, the minute by minute consumption of emotional fear, the storyline of PTSD fades, deteriorates and eventually bores us. Hyper vigilance, flashbacks, anxiety and avoidance need dissociation.


Dissociation is complex, abstract, confusing and the biggest thief in our lives. It steals the only time we have to be happy. Judgment can devour every hour of the day. Judging me, worthy or unworthy, searching for approval, avoiding disapproval or criticism can dominate our landscape.


We become heat seeking missiles for pleasure. Sadness, awkward or suffering is avoided with the many dissociative games. Dissociation can engulf every breath, stir fear until it permeates our being. Dissociation grows with use. Each moment spent away from now harms us.

Complex PTSD, usually childhood abuse, complicates dissociation, our minds have not matured so abuse is mixed with development. Dissociation reaches a deeper level,of dysfunction and entanglement. Parts of our personality get stuck. Mp arts of us fight other parts, we feel conflicted. This is why.


Here are some of the complex symptoms of dissociation:

From Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation:

Complex PTSD consists of six symptom clusters, which also have been described in terms of dissociation of personality. Of course, people who receive this diagnosis often also suffer from other problems as well, and as noted earlier, diagnostic categories may overlap significantly. The symptom clusters are as follows:

Alterations in Regulation of Affect ( Emotion ) and Impulses

Changes in Relationship with others

Somatic Symptoms

Changes in Meaning

Changes in the perception of Self

Changes in Attention and Consciousness

Alterations in regulation of affect(emotion) an impulse:

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“The Need to Please”: Informal Practice:

Approaching Daily Activities with Tenderness


“Notice your attitude as you perform daily activities.


Do you perform self-care and household chores with a sense of tension or harshness, demanding efficiency and perfection?


Do you act harshly toward yourself as you brush your teeth, scrubbing them really hard?


Do you walk from place to place pounding your feet on the ground?


As you notice, practice kindness and tenderness with yourself and the activity, softening and letting go of tension.”

My two cents:   In this moment, right now,  I accept all of me.


I shower myself with inner peace, loving kindness, approval and calm.


I strive to love all of me everyday and often.



Meditation/Mindfulness: A different type of focus, intensity!!!!!! .


Thoughts are endless, 60,000 daily on average.



Focus must be intense, not anxious or strained. Thoughts will sneak in.



Trying to suppress thought, leads to the proliferation of more thought.



Letting thoughts go is the solution. We must let them fade on their own.



Without intense focus on the breath, letting go is near impossible.



Practice focus on five breaths at a time. Rest, then focus on another five breaths.


Start your practice with 10 to 20 minutes sessions.


Forget judging, focus intently, relax and enjoy.


No right or wrong, no good or bad, no words, no past or future where we are headed.


This is how we train the brain/mind for wellbeing, gratitude and being happy.

Narrow your focus.

Steve Largent was a wide receiver for the new expansion team, the Seattle Seahawks back in the 1970’s. He was slow and  undersized, a long shot to even make an NFL rooster.



His philosophy of catching a football was different. Everyone says watch the ball into your hands. He narrowed the focus to watching the tip of the ball, a much smaller focus.



He was inducted into the NFL hall of fame and ranked the second best Seattle Seahawk ever. A mans focus and heart are hidden in all types of bodies and skill sets.



My two cents: Our breath goes unnoticed until we get sick or we focus on our breathing. Breathing is taken for granted, unnoticed, almost invisible to us.


The breath has four parts to one cycle, inhale, a pause, an exhale followed by another pause.


To explore deeper, feel the temperature difference of the inhales and exhales. One is much cooler.


Notice the different sounds an inhale and exhale make.



Can you notice when the inhale stops and the pause begins, or when the pause ends and the exhale starts. That transition point has been described as a door to the other side.



Can you feel the calm that follows slowing of the breath. It is the parasympathetic nervous system kicking in, our brakes.


The breath slows, our nervous system calms.



Look closer, the breath controls the nervous system.



We take our most immediate need, oxygen for granted.

Self kindness part two

In the words of John Welwood, a psychotherapist and pioneer in integrating psychological and spiritual work,

“Though you often try to get others to understand you, the understanding that heals the most is your own” (2006, 117).


Part of self-kindness is letting go of harshness when you realize you aren’t being kind to yourself.”
My two cents: This is a point of contention for me, being raised by a violent, critical narcissist.


We become our most vocal critic.


Self kindness feels awkward, unfamiliar.


We can and need to change this attitude.



Practice, practice, practice.



In this moment, right now, I shower myself with inner peace!


Self-kindness: “The Need to Please”

“A key element of self-compassion is self-kindness (Neff 2011), the practice of being warm and understanding toward yourself at any time, but for our purposes, especially when you get stuck in habitual people-pleasing mode.


As you practice mindfulness, and particularly after the preceding reflection, you may notice how harshly you treat yourself on such occasions.


Given that we mimic our parents’ criticisms, and that perfectionism and feelings of unworthiness and anger tend to go hand in hand with chronic people pleasing, it isn’t surprising that you’d be harsh with yourself.


However, harshness only adds to your suffering. Self-kindness is a way to dissolve this harshness, allowing you to support yourself in the moment.


It’s a big step toward healing the childhood wound that causes habitual approval seeking, so remember patience and kindness even when you don’t feel kind toward yourself.


Understanding the origins of your habitual approval seeking and seeing that it isn’t your fault can help you bestow kindness on yourself.



For example, an inability to say no stems from needing to please your parents in an effort to receive acceptance as a child.

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updated:_____ this is old but helpful….Breathing Track Basics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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