Posts Tagged ‘PTSD’

We must be able to endure the awkward, the uncomfortable


Reading one of the blogs I follow, a post listed all the doubts, judgments, concerns about the therapist, therapy and her own worthiness or unworthiness.


It seemed a celebration of victimhood wrapped in the Ego’s narrative.


Healing will never happen if we wait till things feel good or it is the right time to try.


Safe is never arriving, even the richest man has no idea what’s around the next bend.



We have to learn to withstand, to endure situations and people who make us uncomfortable, uneasy or even a little scared.


Unless we endure, experience these situations, healing or happiness will always be a stranger.


We will never feel that calm, that feeling of I am ok, worthy!


Being worthy comes from within, not through achievement or approval.


Next time a trigger explodes, focus on your breath, observe the narrative and watch it fade away.


A calm, a knowing you are fine arrives to greet us.



Healing or being on a spiritual journey is not an easy, calm path, it can be highly charged, scary and turbulent, like life.


Build your focus and hunt down your fears.



It is a battle, many do not see it like this.

PTSD brings danger, feels real to us, the chemicals definitely are real!



A trigger explodes. Parts of the brain shut down, adrenaline, cortisol, tunnel vision, loss of fine motor skills, along with BP, respiration and heart rate escalate.



We are ready for a lethal threat, the problem, no lethal threat is present. We know this consciously, have experienced thousands of triggers without permanent damage. Irrational!



Danger arrives abstractly for me. It feels like something worse than death is out there, waiting.



Shame, the destruction of our ego, seems to be possible, the ultimate loss. This clarity has surfaced recently for me.



My childhood was filled with conditioned love, verbal and physical abuse, plus the ultimate fear of abandonment. One of my biggest fears was to be abandoned, I would rather endure the beatings than be an orphan.



Our true self (spirit, soul) is permanent and thrives without even knowing of the Ego.



The “Ego” is created and dies without the support of the true self, the power of our being.



How can a mirage mean so much to us?



Approval, approval, approval!



Approval brought security,  being ostracized from the tribe back in our hunter gather stage, meant death.



The Ego dominates thought, judgment and emotion. He/She never feels equal to another “ego”, so he/she will always jockey for approval, importance, acceptance.



Approval or disapproval does not contain happiness.



Approval today could turn to criticism tomorrow, it is external.

Why is change almost impossible for most!!!!!

From my experience, my research reading and asking those that cross my path, seems 10% take action and try! This is a generous number in my opinion.


This is just those who try, not necessarily heal. How many people search out the second therapy after the first fails? How many never give up?


We are talking about suffering, familiar suffering accepted without even trying to live free and unencumbered.


This mindset is foreign to me. My childhood was filled with unworthiness, my father demanded I be an overachiever, be twice as good as anyone else.


All I know is how to endure and exert effort, how the need to overachieve can make me closer to being worthy.


I have no clue why it is so difficult to take action, to risk.


This is a blind spot for me. I am an expert at suffering, negative self talk and extreme unworthiness, but it comes easy to expend all out effort. I earned this mindset enduring my childhood abuse.


Learning to be sensitive and respectful to those who are stuck has been a work in progress.


Even the smallest action is resisted. That first step brings massive responsibility.


That first step eliminates the victim hiding inside and brings out the real us.


Yes, we are vulnerable, exposed, this is the frightening path to healing.


Please share any insight in ways we can motivate others to take action.

Updated: Mindfulness: A Simple Outline!!!!

Frank Glick took this photo at Fort Snelling National Cemetery. When he recorded the shot, he never could have guessed how much it was going to mean to the widow of the World War II veteran buried there. — Star Tribune
Each step fulfilled leads to the next step. Healing or happiness does not arrive from a calm, a mellow straight line path. Rather, it is a path with set backs, turmoil and stress.



It is a path inhabited with intense terror, enormous anxiety and fear of the unknown.



It is an infinitely simple path, visually, a mundane looking innocent exercise. It unfolds like this:



Awareness (Paying attention, Finding ourselves lost in thought then coming back to now)



Mindfulness (daily focus  on the breath,  No goals, no doubts, no worries)



Acceptance (ok with uncomfortable, awkward, letting go of thought and judgment)



Surrender (no resistance, heart is a butterfly net, catch your fears with your net)



Gratitude (desires in perspective,  we have what we need, look for ways to give others)



Giving (In a loving kindness way, no reward needed, do not write a check, see and talk to those you help)



Freedom (Life expands, the ego has faded for a moment, take calculated risks with a smile)



Happiness (the mind empties, life deepens, expands, opportunity is unlimited)



More happiness hopefully.

In Touch: Whatever we resist persists


“Whatever we resist persists—that is another inner law.


We can sense when we are accepted and loved unconditionally by others.


When this happens, we relax.


And then, almost miraculously, we feel safe enough to open up like a flower bud in the warming sun.


Our relationship to our inner experience is no different.


Whatever we are resisting within ourselves senses the lack of full acceptance, no matter how subtle, and braces against it.


We seem to be facing a great dilemma: if deep transformation only happens when there is unconditional acceptance and if the conditioned mind cannot accept unconditionally, what is there to do?


The good news is that there is an awareness in us that already accepts everything just as it is.


This awareness is not of the mind, and it is not mindful in any ordinary sense of this word.



It is certainly not about thinking, evaluating, or bargaining in any way. Instead, it tends to be centered in the heart area.


It is heartful or no-mindful. Your deepest nature loves what is, just as it is.


How can we know this awareness firsthand?


How do we recognize it?


It is all about listening to and attuning with what is already here.


We can start by relaxing”.

Living in the Now: First post by Mechelle



This is Mechelle with Renewing Winds renewingwindsblog. I started following Marty and his blog about two years ago.  He is a mindfulness coach and dear friend, who asked me to collaborate  on this blog.

I have applied many of his principles and would like to share my perspective with you all.  My student perspective allows one to see the challenges and benefits of doing the work.  Applying his lessons, I have absolutely transformed my life and feel quite blessed to be able to share my journey with you all.

I also started my own blog.  I want to help people become their authentic-self and unlock their true potential.  I am hoping to offer you all insight to my path that has allowed me to thrive after being suicidal for many years.

Living in the now and staying present has been a difficult  for me to achieve.  I tend to overthink and create a story, one that leads to fear and anxiety.

Marty says to live in the now is to be an observer of our senses.  This means to bring awareness to not only sight, sound, smell, taste, but also to the sensations in the body.

How does a thought make you feel?  Bringing awareness to these sensations may bring you closer to attuning to your authentic-self.

Acknowledging and accepting feelings, guides me to discover a self, the self that is connected to intuition and offers endless love and compassion.

I cannot always pay attention to my surroundings and be aware of the moment.  Since I am naturally driven to distraction  by mind chatter, it proves difficult to sometimes limit thoughts.  When I find myself deep within my mind, I try paying attention to how this is triggering sensations throughout my body.  For me, I realized that negative sensations are usually traced back to a rat wheel of endless worry.

As I attune to my feelings, I let the trigger, which causes pain in the pit of my stomach, to be a warning signal.  Not always am I able to clear thoughts, once the negative voice has began.  I first become aware of the warning signal, then I am able to make a rational decision to change my behavior instead of mindlessly reacting.

In times when I am unable to clear my mind and bring my awareness back to my senses, I use gratitude and affirmations to reprogram my sub-consciousness.  I have previously brainstormed and made it somewhat ritualistic to incorporate these concepts in my life.

When a trigger is revealed, I can then use an affirmation that brings my awareness to the now  “In this moment, right now I am safe, I am worthy and I accept all of me.”  This helps me gain a perspective that is both calming, nurturing and attuned to the present.

Ideally, we would be able to clear our minds in all circumstances and enjoy life as it unfolds before our eyes.  Being aware is a skill that needs to be practiced.  This is why mediation is so vitally important to overall health and wellness.  Through sitting, we train our brains to be calm and collected.

When thoughts do arise, try continuously to bring them around to clarity by focusing on the  breathing track.  This takes us out of a reactionary mind to one of acceptance and feeling of overall peace.

In the practice of focusing on the breath, one will eventually be able to correlate it back to the senses. This correlation allows you to realize the breeze brushing against your cheek, the song in a chipmunk’s chatter and the innocence in a scared, frantic, and angry person.  Once this correlation is made, my hope for you all is to transform a monotonous zombie-like life into one of a revived, exciting and blissful one.

Updated: It is the ability to focus, to concentrate, to steer our attention that alters the direction of our journey!


First, it is about being aware of our flaws and fears, then acceptance that allows us to let go, finally we can place our attention on this present moment.

Focus is impossible when the mind is filled with worry, doubt and unworthiness.

When we avoid, dissociate, and grasp the baton of failure, suffering ensues.

Condense life down to its basic simplicity.

We want to be happy.

Eliminate all thought and ideas which inhibit this pursuit.

Never entertain or say a negative thing about yourself.

Praise yourself with glowing adjectives, active verbs and magnificent figures of speech.

When looking for people you love, look in the mirror first.

Self love is the well from which happiness flows.

Accept, let go, be free and live fully.

Bring all attention in focus to this present moment.

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