Posts Tagged ‘MINDFULNESS’

We need not win but we must fight

Pixabay: Michalqiao13591

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In my opinion, results are way above our pay grade. Results have many external influences out of our control.

We must find our purpose in life, then expend total effort with a positive attitude through good and not so good times.

For me, sentenced to an abusive childhood, winning was impossible.

An adult, a giant, had robbed me of my childhood and traumatized my being that would last a lifetime.

Winning was impossible. Feeling normal a dream, feeling worthy, my battle.

My fight was for survival until I could get away from the torture.

Now, my attitude and effort fill my being. Feeling worthy grew from an internal way of being, accepting and giving.

I do not judge myself anymore, I meditate, grow my gratitude and compassion daily.

We need not win but we must fight.

It is the journey we need to work on, not goals, status or approval.

Fighting is not aggressive, in fact fighting trauma, depression or anxiety is accepting, being vulnerable to our fears.

Healing is a humbling journey, the fight is accepting all of us, a worthy soul, a kind friend to all.

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Does your life with Chronic Pain feel like this?

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My chronic pain was like the wind, invisible, powerful and relentless at times.

How was I going to battle such a ghost. I named my pain Mr P. after the old Happy Days show, Mr. C.

Mr. P. Was my nemesis when I hiked. Mr. P. wanted to stop my legs from moving, from confronting my fear, from taking control of my mind back.

My mindset was centered around my greatest strength, my willpower, determination. Always incorporate your strengths as part of your solutions.

My mindset as usual, a jock accepts the challenge before him/her. No way was Pain going stop my legs from moving!

My exercise routine became an emotional battle between pain and my will.

In a way it was exhilarating. I convinced myself not many humans could hike in such pain day after day.

We jocks always imagined being at bat with the bases loaded, two outs bottom of ninth, game seven of World Series. This was my chronic pain version.

Visualization is powerful. I would imagine myself in “The Last of the Mohicans” running with Hawkeye, running for our life.

Music gave me a beat that I could synchronize my legs with. My legs would move to a beat when they were exhausted, ready to quit.

Chronic pain became a friend. Adversity makes us stronger.

Chronic pain strengthened my meditation practice. I truly learned how to focus and dissipate my pain level.

Pain constricted, became much more bearable, then faded as months passed. Aerobic exercise and meditation were my tools.

I would set in the middle of my pain with my breath, no judgments just observing.

My breath could dissipate my pain. My familiarity allowed me to sit calmly inside my pain. My pain received no energy from fear, attention or thought.

After a few years I had compartmentalzed my chronic pain.

Acute pain is a different animal.

Pain eats energy but does not touch my soul, or my enthusiasm for life.

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A trigger 🔥 fires 🔥 what is our thought process

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A trigger firing brings different emotions, the dominant one is real fear, terror for some, opportunity for a few.

Someone shared that they joined a new mental health group, risking, healing. After a few meetings, her triggers erupted.

She was afraid and thought it was a bad decision. That trigger was a reaction to her taking control of her life.

PTSD is going to resist our efforts to heal, to take back control of our life.

Anxiety, triggers exploding, being afraid is part of the healing path.

Triggers are not to be feared.

They are opportunities to heal.

When PTSD is at its apex of power, violent triggers erupting, it is also at its most vulnerable.

PTSD is a bluff that has the key to our fight or flight mechanism. PTSD has the ability to dump cortisol and adrenaline into our system, preparing for a lethal threat.

We have to know the difference between real danger and PTSD danger.

We breathe, stay focused while this imaginary fear dissipates.

Triggers are the doors to healing.

Become friends with your nervous system, your fight or flight mechanism, your protector.

Anxiety dissipates with extended, focused breaths.

Our breath controls our nervous system.

Our breath is the weapon that when focused intently, can neutralize traumas impact.

We have to keep moving when anxiety makes us cautious.

Takes courage to stay silent, still, focused when chaos wants us to flee in terror.

Meditation sets a collision course with our demons (PTSD).

It is the road to healing.

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Can you tolerate ?

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Can you tolerate Focusing the senses on the present environment without narration.

In simple words can you take in what the eyes see, the ears hear and the nose smells without judgment.

Start small, how about the next five minutes.

If we can do it for five minutes, fifty minutes is possible.

Take action, small repetitive practices like this make big changes.

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Hiding in plain Sight!

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Most people I run across have lost sight of the importance of gratitude and kindness.

We all think we are flawed or we need to change, overcome or cure something to be happy.

Gratitude becomes hidden, buried amongst unfulfilled desires, replaced by Worry, doubt and unworthiness.

Hard to be grateful when we feel loss, hurt, sadness, anger, hate, jealousy or depression.

If we have a disorder like Anxiety, PTSD, depression, bi polar etc., how often do we feel gratitude.

We have a mountain of gratitude, an unlimited amount of kindness available right now.

We search for all these external cures when vast amounts of gratitude and kindness are available right below the surface.

Gratitude for ourselves remains hidden deeper, harder to find.

I know people who shower others with kindness, then ignore giving any praise for themselves.

In fact, many feel unworthy, who shower others with praise and kindness.

How can we be grateful right now?

We have to let all those false judgments about who we are go!

We are present, in this moment, focused and aware, that is enough.

The mind can be trained to focus, to empty itself of ruminating thought and be present in this moment.

All the noise fades into oblivion, and we see what has been in front of us all along, hidden in the confusion of thought and negative emotions.

How will you know if a better way of living is available?

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Where we place our Attention matters

Pixabay.com

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Can you tolerate not expressing negative emotions,

Anger. …

Annoyance. …

Sadness. …

Guilt. …

Fear and anxiety. …

Discouragement and despair. …

Apathy. …

Disappointment and frustration.

How much time would you free up?

Would positive emotions increase?

With no negative emotions getting play time, positive emotions will dominate your personality.

This idea is at the core of mindfulness.

Where we place our attention impacts life in a profound way.

In fact, I believe it is the greatest power of the mind.

A trained, focused mind does not waste energy on negative emotions.

If sadness arrives from life, sadness is felt completely without judgment, then we come back to now.

We live life, narration ceases, judgments are sparse, simple things excite us.

Please share your views and insights.

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Ptsd makes us defensive maybe even in denial

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I deal with people with PTSD, some with childhood Trauma.

Childhood trauma is a special kind of trauma, our brains have not developed, so trauma intertwines itself like an octopus with our mind.

Since trauma was endured over such a long period of time, healing is more arduous and lengthy. Remember trauma is stored with our abilities at the time it occurs.

Some trauma feels like a five year old memory to me.

Understand you have the cognitive abilities of a five year old when in the midst of this trigger firing.

Trying to think your way out will fail. It is a subconscious terrain that houses that memory.

We carry this trauma, reinforce the narrative we create with others. This narrative influences the “Ego” we create.

Think how we define “Who am I” with these influences.

Sometimes our narrative describes us as a victim of circumstance. Any narrative is a mirage.

I damn sure am not a superhero either, or some great savior of mankind.

PTSD sufferers will fight you to keep their narrative. This narrative excludes them from taking responsibility for their life.

What does your narrative say about you?

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