Posts Tagged ‘MEDITATION’

In transition again

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Volunteering, facilitating a mindfulness group, has come to an abrupt end.

I never thought someone would manipulate and deceive a mindfulness group for months.

For 6 plus years, every week I hosted a free mindfulness group.

If someone did the work and had questions, I supported them via text during the week.

I witnessed people changing their lives, improving from challenging disorders.

When a predator enters your group stealthily, acting the part of an authentic person trying to heal, trust is shattered.

This scenario did not end well, the predator hiding after being confronted.

Interesting how quickly they become a coward.

No remorse at all.

Some do not care the damage they inflict on others in their selfish pursuits.

I guess I am naive, never considering someone would enter a mindfulness group with evil intentions.

Volunteering has placed my mental health at risk, so I quit.

Now, I search for the next door to open.

Purpose has taken a hit.

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I, me, mine: Can you refrain from using them this week?

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We create an identity, a collection of how others see us, treat us, combined with how we see ourselves, blended together into an “Ego” (I, me, mine).

The problem with this created “Ego” is he/she never feels equal to another “Ego”.

Example: Two millionaires or billionaires Trump and Bloomberg trade adolescent barbs. One insults the other calling him short, while the other responds with your hair is ridiculous and your fat.

Men of great power and status succumb to the their “Egos” desire to rule others.

Our “Ego” has the disposition of an adolescent when challenged by another “Ego”.

We struggle while placating our own “Egos” childish desires.

Most “Egos” are similar to a peacock, wanting to display those beautiful feathers in public at every opportunity.

In a Mindfulness/Meditation practice, we try to calm our “Ego” back into the minor role it was created for, identity.

Our “Ego” is the culprit when we feel disrespected, angry, resentful, jealous, superior or unworthy.

These are sentiments that lead to suffering.

Does your “Ego” enhance life or bring unworthiness and drama?

Can you resist using I, me , mine today or a week?

See how often you use I, me, mine in a day.

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Trauma, PTSD traveled everywhere with me

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It took an agonizing long time for me to heal. I did not have clear direction or the right tools.

As most sufferers, I tried to avoid being triggered at all costs. That strategy ended with me agoraphobic, locked in my garage for six months.

To my amazement, my triggers still fired inside my dark garage. Trauma had followed me.

I could not run from my mind, there was nowhere to hide.

PTSD was an invisible prison, no one else could see the bars, but my life narrowed.

Healing has nothing to do with avoiding, hiding or dissociating.

My salvation came when I realized the power of focusing on my breath.

My breath was always present with my mind.

To my amazement, my breath controlled my nervous system.

Without therapy I could calm my fight or flight mechanism, dissipate cortisol and adrenaline.

Going from terrified, anxious and panicked to calm and secure was a miracle, I thought.

It is free and always available, like your trauma symptoms.

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Can we influence Desire!

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Witnessing peoples desires, puzzles me.

The desire to heal rarely matches the desire to do the daily work.

Human nature explains that but suffering is the result.

In my opinion less than 5% commit to daily action.

The question becomes, are you one of the 5%?

What is different about these doers?

What can you do to join these ranks?

Any suggestions or comments.

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How do we deal with our own deficiencies

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For me, I take things too personally. Letting the other person own their behavior is difficult.

Recently a friend betrayed me, the details are not important.

Somehow my hurt, my “Egos” hurt, dominated my thoughts for a couple of weeks.

Dissociation ruled my mind, my “Ego” wandered into obsessing over why me.

I had created this big hurt inside me, letting an external situation overtake my wellbeing.

Losing center because of another, brought disappointment that I let this happen.

It is a difficult but simple fix, let go and come back to now.

Now judgments have been released, my course direction adjusted, so life goes on.

Hopefully I learn from my mistakes.

My mistakes happen when my “Ego” gets emotional influence.

When I am centered and focused, life is much more free, enjoyable.

For someone with serious abuse in childhood, having the ability to let go, to reach a no thought space grants me a chance at a joyful existence.

Happiness is an internal way of being, living, not an accumulation of achievements, awards, status and possessions.

Hell, we would all want to be politicians if happiness was contained in wealth, status and power.

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A focus exercise

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The breath is the focus object we decide to select.

Our focus object has four parts, an inhale, an exhale and two pauses. We give each one our total focus.

Along with focus on our breath, we observe sounds and body sensations.

Everything we are focusing on requires no thought but intense awareness.

Our focus exercise exerts no action to change anything, observation is what we are tasked with.

When a thought appears, we continue our focus on the breath, then notice the body sensation attached to this current thought.

Our only focus is on the breath and our senses, thoughts fade on their own with input.

Relax, enjoy the wellbeing and discipline this practice brings to our doorstep.

If you want happiness, wellbeing, know your inner world.

Oh, this focus exercise has been labeled “Meditation” by many.

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Misconceptions about thought

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Let’s look at our thinking connected to our “Ego”. Thinking is a necessary function for us to survive. We need to assess danger in certain situations, in business settings our ability to think helps us navigate the environment.

It can sound like we are saying thinking is bad. In reality we have to meditate for a period of time to reach a no thought stage. Directed thinking is beneficial, meandering or ruminating attracts the negative, a mind field for humans.

Realize there is no way we stop thought, we strive to carve out ten to twenty minutes of a no thought stage with daily meditation in the beginning.

Thoughts are always enticing us to play, 60,000 a day, tempt us.

Negative thoughts are like Velcro, positive Teflon.

We stop to look at that wreck on the other side of the freeway, nightly news handles the horrific.

Nightly news is not about unknown people doing selfless acts of kindness. Who would watch that, ratings rise with the bloody details of crime and wrecks.

We try to carve out more and more time in a no thought stage.

When we meditate our mind and body repair themselves, neuroscience now tells us.

Just be aware of your thoughts, have the ability to focus, let go and then comeback to now.

Next we work on self image reciting and recording a short affirmation.

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