Posts Tagged ‘MEDITATION’

When things flare up, focus and awareness are key



We must limit the depth we fall when PTSD, anxiety or depression grabs us.

Sometimes we need to play defense, using focus and awareness.

I refuse to make any decisions when PTSD flares. My thoughts can be irrational, highly emotional and extremely negative.

A good amount of my time is spent letting go of the negative thoughts.

Awareness helps us steer attention away from thought and to the present moment.

Another helpful activity is exercise, strenuous if you are capable.

Keep yourself busy and focused for a day or two until things settle down.

Know that the crisis will pass and things will return to what your normal has been.

If we can let go of our thoughts, we limit the depth of depression, anxiety and PTSD.

Healing is cultivated better when we keep our minds calm and focused.



Lonely: is lonely a judgment?



Lonely can be a judgment. I have friends that seem to have it made, big house, nice car, money, career, etc.

They still feel lonely, emotionally unfulfilled, Lacking.

In many situations, not all, we compare our lives with others.

We may want the status and security of an executive career, that big house, country club membership or athletic skills to dominate our group.

Loneliness is a judgment in this situation. If we judge our world by what we lack, suffering will always be our partner.

Loneliness will become real.

All we have is this mundane moment. Think about that!

Nothing we can achieve or attain in the future will bring lasting happiness.

We can be happy right now, just as we are.

Happiness is a peaceful, internal way of being, living in the moment.

Equanimity is what the Buddhist label it.

Just think, we have the ability to shower ourselves with kindness.



11 Easy Ways to Practice Mindfulness in Your Daily Life By Melissa Eisler



“It can be difficult to stay mindful amid the to-dos of day-to-day life.




In fact, a study at Harvard found that people spend 46.9 percent of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they are doing.




This kind of mindlessness is the norm, as the mind tends to spend its time focused on the past, the future, and trying out should have’s and what if’s. The study also found that allowing the brain to run on auto-pilot like this can make people unhappy. “A wandering mind is an unhappy mind,” the researchers said.



What can you do to become more mindful in your daily life? You can start by incorporating easy ways to practice mindfulness during the routine activities you’re already doing every day, like brushing your teeth and walking the dog. Here are 11 ways to practice mindfulness in your everyday life … and don’t stop here, these are just ideas and thought-starters.


You can practice mindfulness anytime, anywhere, and with anyone by showing up and being fully engaged in the here and now. Mindfulness is the simple act of paying attention and noticing and being present in whatever you’re doing. When most people go about their daily lives, their minds wander from the actual activity they are participating in, to other thoughts or sensations. When you’re mindful, you are actively involved in the activity with all of your senses instead of allowing your mind to wander.


So try these out and watch your mundane daily to-dos turn into your mindfulness practice.

Continue reading

Decide today!

Since happiness only happens in the present moment, can you decide to be happy today.

We need to ask this question, What needs to happen for me to be happy right now?


We do not need to accomplish anything, attain any possessions, titles or status to be happy, now.


If we can not be happy now, chances are that next week, next year or next decade, happiness will not happen.


Is there a more important question for our lives?


Matthew Ricard says our purpose in life is to be happy.


Happiness contains giving and gratitude, not chasing pleasure or collecting possessions and power.

We are one trigger away from _____?

One trigger away from getting worse or healing. It depends on our response.


Like everyone else I feared a trigger exploding, dumping cortisol and adrenaline, over stimulating my nervous system. Triggers grow in power when we deny, escape or freeze up.


Now, I see triggers as an opportunity to heal, to integrate our trauma to current time.
PTSD scares us most when it fires our fight or flight mechanism. Constant triggers firing drives our nervous system crazy. I used to shake from all the cortisol in my system.


Ironically PTSD is at its weakest at this same point.


If we can stay present, focused on our breath during a trigger, it will lose power.


Each successive time we focus and stay present, PTSD loses more power.

Triggers are our best opportunity to heal as quickly as possible.


Meditation/Mindfulness allows us to observe triggers in the safety of our mind.


A safe prolonged exposure therapy.


When you feel safe, you can search out and extinguish your triggers in real time.

Updated: new response; The Rollercoaster ride of PTSD! My crazy Path!



My initial healing seemed miraculous and lasted for a number of years. It took tremendous effort with the resources at hand. Recently a prescribed blood pressure script sent my nervous system into a frenzy as it drained my body of energy. I thought my healing was permanent, another erroneous judgment.


This ignited my PTSD symptoms, triggers had power again as life narrowed. As I have found out, some unresolved trauma needed integration .    My amygdala had calmed as the fight or flight mechanism remained dormant. The thoughts and emotional side of ptsd were still alive.


This has been a perplexing experience. My old tools still calmed me but ptsd was alive and kicking again. I needed to adapt and find a few new tools. If you have not experienced serious PTSD, these words are hollow and mean nothing.


Using the internal Family system, meditation and inner peace work, I felt times of being centered, calm. I never experienced inner peace before. Felt like I was whole, healed for a couple of weeks.


Yesterday, I was triggered, nothing exceptional but my mind’s  reaction to it, has changed life again. My inner peace was replaced by the rumination of traumas, fear and terror. I fear what my mind will do after a trigger much more than the event itself.


A trigger transports me back to my abusive childhood. Could anyone understand what it was like to be raised by a narcissist who lived through their child. Violence and rage at me were common events. My childhood has haunted me at times.


I realize even more now, that this is an internal battle. The external trigger holds little power, it just trips the switch of the amygdala, connecting to my childhood. My unworthiness is internal and ancient for me.


Healing is a rollercoaster ride. This is discouraging to say the least, but I did, for the first time in my life, experience a little inner peace. A huge triumph, now what?



When we face this dilemma choices appear.


If we dissociate, get lost in analyzing the trigger, the cause, the fairness, the ramifications, we suffer. If we avoid or give, up ptsd grows.


Healing is not a straight graph line upward. We face setbacks, failure and loss as we crawl out of trauma’s grave.


Our work is to not give up, not get discouraged, not lose focus.



Complex PTSD from an abusive childhood has many tentacles. Our brains were not developed when trauma occurred and this has left stuck parts behind. Healing does not happen easily or fast with complex PTSD.


Realize the size of the battle we engage in. Setbacks are part of healing.



Updated: Motivation

What is the most important skill to look for in a therapist?


Knowledge of multiple therapies, timing, knowing when and how to apply his/her wisdom, adept people skills, or empathy.


For most clients the greatest skill needed, is the ability to motivate them to take action.

Let’s look at our healing time. Having a weekly therapy session gives us four hours a month in session.

That means we have 668 hours a month on our own.


It is obvious to me healing happens in those 668 hours not the 4 in therapy.

Unless you are highly self motivated, taking action between therapy sessions seems highly unlikely.


Healing takes your daily action and attention. I know how hard it is for someone to meditate for just 15 minutes a day.


The ability of your therapist to motivate you decides if you improve or suffer.


The ability of your therapist to convey this truth is crucial.


It is my responsibility to take action.


How many people share that conviction.


The skill to motivate is not taught in our college curriculum.


PTSD is at epidemic levels. In my opinion, only a small portion of those suffering reach a therapists couch.


Many are never diagnosed, others do not have insurance or financial ability to afford help and few ever seek a second therapist when the first is not a match.


What do you value most in a therapist?



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