Posts Tagged ‘MEDITATION’

What Is Alcoholism or Alcohol Use Disorder?

Pixabay: DariuszSankowski



Alcoholism is when one can no longer control their use of alcohol, compulsively abuse alcohol, despite its negative ramifications, and/or experience emotional distress when they are not drinking may be suffering from an alcohol use disorder (AUD) or alcoholism.

AUD is a chronic, relapsing disease that is diagnosed based on an individual meeting certain criteria outlined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).

To be diagnosed with alcoholism, individuals must meet any two of the below criteria within the same 12-month period:

Using alcohol in higher amounts or for a longer time than originally intended.

Being unable to cut down on alcohol use despite a desire to do so.

Spending a lot of time obtaining, using, and recovering from the effects of alcohol.

Cravings, or a strong desire to use alcohol.

Being unable to fulfill major obligations at home, work, or school because of alcohol use.

Continuing to abuse alcohol despite negative interpersonal or social problems that are likely due to alcohol use.

Giving up previously enjoyed social, occupational, or recreational activities because of alcohol use.

Using alcohol in physically dangerous situations (such as driving or operating machinery).

Continuing to abuse alcohol despite the presence of a psychological or physical problem that is probably due to alcohol use.

Having a tolerance (i.e. needing to drink increasingly large or more frequent amounts of alcohol to achieve desired effect).

Developing symptoms of withdrawal when efforts are made to stop using alcohol.



My two cents: PTSD sufferers have an issue with self medicating.

Adding alcohol to PTSD does not end well.



Thoughts are an appendage, there beyond your outstretched arm?

Pixabay: StockSnap



Thoughts are air without attention, harmless, unnoticed noise.

Thoughts are an appendage, our true self, soul is our core.

Let’s explore that hypothesis. Meditation/Mindfulness practice continues when our eyes are open and we are in the waking world.

The next thought that our mind becomes enthralled with, pull back and observe it.

We can isolate this thought, separate it with our focus.

Without attention, we can witness how transparent and fleeting a thought becomes.

We witness the thought arriving, then without attention, fade quickly, like it never existed.

We can see how powerless any thought or emotion is without energy, attention.

If we want to be happy or heal, where we place our attention is our greatest power.



The challenge: can we take action

Pixabay: Alexas_Fotos / 20873 images



Experiencing one’s own inadequacies and still going on in spite of them are two of the greatest achievements of adulthood. Success in many ways, is not as important as failure and how you handle it.

–Robert Hand




My two cents: It is the same with courage, it is needed when we feel the most vulnerable, most afraid.

Courage looks different when facing PTSD.

We need to be brave enough to focus and face our fears.

Choosing to be open and vulnerable in the face of a trigger exploding, takes courage.

It is the road less travelled.



What to do when a crisis hits

Pixabay: Lumamannen



I have learned not to run, not to isolate, not to dissociate and not to panic.

The best action is to sit quietly in the middle of the mess.

Do not try to escape the uncomfortable, awkward or terrifying thoughts.

Let the narrative fade. Do not try to distract, judge, or change the narrative, just observe.

Observe and become familiar with all the body sensations.

It is difficult to observe, to do nothing, to not try to influence the narrative.

My nervous system was assaulted at such an early age and with such intensity, total incapacitation grips me.

It does not have to be anything dangerous or scary.

My triggers were so mundane, I knew there was no danger but my nervous system erupted violently.

The mind does not function the same when a perceived lethal threat is spotted.

Common sense and rational thinking stop in this state.

Cognitive function can not reach trauma except to make it worse with more thought.

The only solution is to sit in the middle of the mess until it fades, then we come back to the present moment, observing what the eyes see, the nose smells, the ears hear.

Simple, not easy.



My childhood was extremely violent: life was a battleground




Today I felt that old familiar total helplessness. Cortisol and adrenaline released in small quantities, but that feeling a huge man was about to beat my ass violently, gripped me.

The level of violence my dad perpetrated on me was intense. A specially made paddle with holes was hand made at the cabinet shop.

He was proud of his creation, he was a narcissist, I was his pawn.

Once a week at dinner, Lima beans were served. When my gag reflex would not let me ingest them, I puked, then got beat until he got tired.

Once a week.

Imagine if I did something wrong, his level of violence and rage escalated. Emotionally, constant criticism was his preferred vehicle of conversation.

After all my healing, all my meditating and practice, that demon still lives in my nervous system.

Childhood trauma leaves scars, some last the rest of our life.

My choice is obvious, avoid and isolate or accept, let go and be present.

It is always a simple solution to yesterday’s problems.

External stimulus either controls our mind or we focus and direct our attention to this moment.

My practice has not eliminated the damage but made it possible to enjoy life and experience happiness.

At every breath we have a choice, give in to judgment or stay present, focused and alive.



We can be happy in the midst of turmoil

Pixabay: geralt / 20724 images



Meditation builds focus, it allows us to experience stressful situations fully, then release them.

Our ability to let go, then come back to now, releases us from suffering.

My “Ego” can be upset, pissed, or agitated, but that is not my concern.

“Egos” are never equal to another “Ego”, thus creating a competition for approval, status and power.

Let other “Egos” own their behavior, taking things personally draws us into a losing battle.

We waste our moments, defending an adolescent ”Ego”, always creating drama in our life.

I can be happy when my “Ego” is upset, angry or attacked.

I can also get involved, ruminating, exploring what if’s, suffering, wasting my life on nonsense.

I need less approval, it has changed my life.

The man in the mirror has become a friend, I approve.



Another Acceptance post

Pixabay: mstlion



Acceptance was difficult for me. Struggling to accept who I was, became extremely arduous.

How do you accept a damaged self image, an abusive childhood, in this moment? I struggled.

I avoided, tried to fix me and suffering ensued.

As most humans, I thought change was needed, I could achieve something to gain happiness in the future.

Happiness only happens in one time zone, NOW!

Happiness is impossible to experience in the future.

So we trade our only chance for happiness in for some euphoric prize in the future.

Realize this is a mirage created by our “Ego” craving control of our body.

Accept all of you, grow gratitude and giving, then let go and enjoy the moment, it is all there is.

Whether we accept ourselves totally or live a life of worry or doubt, death visits all of us.

We are here to pursue happiness.

Happiness contains acceptance, gratitude, giving and a focused empty mind.

It’s about fully entering into our experience—residing in the physical reality of the present moment.



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