Posts Tagged ‘Judgment’

My “Ego” is UPSET WITH YOU !!!!!!!

7A481818-CAE2-45D6-9564-9706117C4050.
.
This is part of the journey, exploring our inner world. We sit quietly, focusing on the breath, letting thoughts fade.

 

 

The “Ego” fades as our cognitive hemisphere (left side) quiets, then we enter our creative (egoless) right hemisphere.

 

 

We can observe our “Ego” from a distance, see it’s desire for approval, feel its anxiety dealing with criticism from another “Ego”.

 

 


After a while we can separate our “Ego” while we are cognitively engaged. We observe the one who thinks and judges.

 


The other day someone criticized a comment I made online about trauma. How dare them, this voice shouted from inside.

 

 

My “Ego” was insulted, angry, pissed as hell, fuming.

 

 


I took a few breaths and let go.

 


Observing from a distance, I discovered my “Ego” felt wounded and wanted revenge.

 

 

A choice had arrived. Do I follow my “Ego” and attack or do I go below the “Ego” and observe.

 

 


I smiled then laughed out loud, my “Ego” was more an appendage, like an arm or leg, not a vital organ.

 

 

Who cares if my “Ego” is pissed, not me.

 

 


I was not angry but amused, clear-headed and relaxed.

 

 


I had become familiar with my “Ego’s” patterns, desires and needs.

 

 

This male “Ego” was highly competitive, prone to action when criticized. He acted like an adolescent boy when perturbed.

 

 

Know your “Ego’s” desires, ambitions, weaknesses, and manipulative ways
.
.

Buddhism and Western medicine: a good read

2ADC8BEA-2E94-4229-B0AC-CE520FE58D9D

.

.

Author:

Alex Lickerman, MD, is a physician and former director of primary care at one of the world’s most prestigious universities, the University of Chicago. He is also a practicing Nichiren Buddhist and leader in the Nichiren Buddhist lay organization, the Soka Gakkai International, USA (SGI-USA).

 

Buddhism and Western medicine would seem an incongruous mixture, but in the hands of Alex Lickerman they meld seamlessly into a recipe for overcoming life’s hardships—indeed, for turning them into advantages. An accomplished physician, Lickerman has no truck for the supernatural, but recognizes that the tenets of Nichiren Buddhism have been honed over centuries to help alleviate life’s inevitable sufferings. The Undefeated Mind is a deeply engaging story of how Lickerman has fused modern medicine with ancient wisdom to heal his patients both physically and psychologically—lessons that apply to all of us.”
–Jerry Coyne, professor of Ecology and Evolution at University of Chicago

Continue reading

Dissociation: The most read and responded subject

833741D9-D14D-41F9-992A-DE0539D859A5

 

This post and responses are in the header, Dissociation. This subject is by far the most read and commented topic.
*
*
Dissociation in its most basic description, is leaving this present moment to think about the past or future. It is an unreal practice, action. We create a parallel world, a world filled with treachery for our minds. What we create lacks reality! Dissociation takes us to a place, the past or future where happiness does not exist.

 

Dissociation is the only symptom we need to address. It is the linchpin, the king, the all-powerful symptom, the leader of the pack. Dissociation fuels trauma and all other symptoms. Without the duration of dissociation, the minute by minute consumption of emotional fear, the storyline of PTSD fades, deteriorates and eventually bores us. Hyper vigilance, flashbacks, anxiety and avoidance need dissociation.

 

Dissociation is complex, abstract, confusing and the biggest thief in our lives. It steals the only time we have to be happy. Judgment can devour every hour of the day. Judging me, worthy or unworthy, searching for approval, avoiding disapproval or criticism can dominate our landscape.

 

We become heat seeking missiles for pleasure. Sadness, awkward or suffering is avoided with the many dissociative games. Dissociation can engulf every breath, stir fear until it permeates our being. Dissociation grows with use. Each moment spent away from now harms us.

Complex PTSD, usually childhood abuse, complicates dissociation, our minds have not matured so abuse is mixed with development. Dissociation reaches a deeper level,of dysfunction and entanglement. Parts of our personality get stuck. Mp arts of us fight other parts, we feel conflicted. This is why.

 

Here are some of the complex symptoms of dissociation:

From Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation:

Complex PTSD consists of six symptom clusters, which also have been described in terms of dissociation of personality. Of course, people who receive this diagnosis often also suffer from other problems as well, and as noted earlier, diagnostic categories may overlap significantly. The symptom clusters are as follows:

Alterations in Regulation of Affect ( Emotion ) and Impulses

Changes in Relationship with others

Somatic Symptoms

Changes in Meaning

Changes in the perception of Self

Changes in Attention and Consciousness

Alterations in regulation of affect(emotion) an impulse:

Continue reading

The Need to Please: a deep intention to help yourself be happy and free.

0466CA0E-5A0F-4410-9ADE-08DCFEBF0566.

.

“When you find yourself in the midst of approval seeking, take a breath and remember that your people-pleasing habits 

 

 

arise from a deep intention to help yourself be happy and free. 

 

 

Also let go of any blame or self-judgment for these habitual behaviors and ways of thinking. 

 

 

This can help you heal the wound that led to the difficulty in the first place

 

 

Psychologist Tara Brach, who teaches mindfulness in Washington, DC, says that forgiving yourself and letting go of shame about your coping strategies is essential in healing the core wounds from which the coping strategies arose (2011).”

.

.

.

Ways to focus our mindfulness practice on the body ?

541B0191-1C5E-45A0-973D-E8C75EA47314

.
.
Our mindfulness practice can be focused on connecting our awareness to our body.

 


This is the path that integrates trauma stored in the body. Our fight or flight mechanism does not need to fire for us to be influenced by residual trauma stored in the body.

 

 

When we feel our bodies triggered, an opportunity presents itself.

 

 

We can dissociate into thought, fueling PTSD or we can observe, feel and breathe into the part that is aroused. One fuels PTSD, the other calms and integrates.

 

 

Trauma stored in the body needs an intense exploration from a friendly unbiased observer.   We sit still, focus and listen to our interior world.

 

 

The first time I healed, my body trauma left me last.

 

 

A mindful practice brings intimate awareness of all these sensations without the storyline.

 

 

When we feel anxious, spooked or fearful, another opportunity arises.

 

 

Once our body trauma is felt without the storyline, it calms a little.

 

 

Repeated acceptance and befriending of our nervous system and body will integrate some of our PTSD.
.
.

I did not think my PTSD would return.

BC7352B7-0D91-471B-A5CA-6FB16F0209B4

.
.
I did not think my PTSD would return.

 

I also, did not think I could heal, could feel inner peace, could be worthy, but I did.

 

 

Then a prescribed blood pressure med, or more accurately its side effect, ignited my nervous system and old triggers.

 

 

I did not think my mind would dissociate so easily without constant awareness.

 

My judgments of healing and mindfulness dreamed of a euphoric life, of few negative thoughts, fewer unworthy images and an easy, happy existence.

 

In reality, my life has changed dramatically but the adversity and daily challenges test my centeredness and calm.

 

It truly is a journey, a journey with daily choices.

 

I could be sad, could be depressed at times. My meditation practice gives me a choice, be present, neutral and calm or suffer.

 

 

I still have worry and doubt at times. Worry creeps in stealthily, unbeknownst to me at first, then I catch  negative emotions arriving.

 

I feel loss at times, then know it is a judgment, air unless I give it power.

 

Gratitude, humility and giving are the tools I use to counter my “Ego’s” need for control.

 

 

I did not think it would be so challenging, so hard, so harsh after so much work.

 

My abusive childhood, my violent, critical upbringing, has left deep ruts in my subconscious.

 

 

At least now, my “Ego” sits in the back seat of my car.

 

It is not perfect but no one said it would be.

 

I am grateful I have tools to make good choices.
.
.
.

This is known as dysregulated arousal

F10C08C3-92D2-4FD8-A38B-BE56ED66947C

 

 

.
.
In trauma-sensitive mindfulness, the variable we’re interested in here is arousal—defined as our basic readiness for life. Arousal originates in the brain stem, activates our ANS, and helps us respond to the demands of the world.

 

 

If we need energy to do something, such as get out of bed or pick up our child, arousal increases; when we rest, it decreases.

 

 

Trauma, meanwhile, creates acute arousal.

 

 

With fight or flight, our bodies hit the accelerator. We experience a burst of exceedingly high arousal.

 

If we then freeze, our bodies slam on the brakes.

 

 

With posttraumatic stress, arousal can end up fluctuating wildly between these two extremes.

 

Both pedals effectively remain slammed to the floor.

 

 

This is known as dysregulated arousal—a state where our ability to self-regulate becomes seriously compromised.

Continue reading

%d bloggers like this: