Posts Tagged ‘happiness’

Perception becomes Reality

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“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

― Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere’s Fan
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“What We Think, We Become. “

Buddha

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My inner voice is yapping, lately.

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My inner voice, no, not my true self, has some complaints.

He has been in charge of the complaint department for a while now.

My life should be easier, pleasant for all the meditating and healing I have worked so diligently to achieve.

The inner voice reminds me, in a five year timeframe, I meditated five hours, read books and applied my tools everyday.

Over 9,000 hours of silent meditation, life should be much easier, filled with more happiness.

His judgments always paint me, my life as lacking something.

I know better to grasp a judgment declaring my life should be easier or happier.

Who the hell am I to fabricate a storyline of loss around my healing.

My response: I have gratitude for having the willpower and courage to face my trauma fears.

I am thankful for the freedom and happiness I have earned.

There is no loss, I am dying the same day either way.

This way I have big challenges no loss though.

Who said life was ever going to be easy?

Any thoughts?

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“In Touch”: Obstacles to Inner Knowing

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“Discerning a true sense of inner knowing can be a delicate task.

There are many impostors.

Most of what we call hunches or intuition is based upon fear or desire.

Our inner knowing is heavily filtered by how we do or do not want things to be.

When we have a strong attachment to an outcome, our sense of inner knowing is less clear.

Our knowing is also deeply obscured by beliefs—what we believe about ourselves, others, and about life in general.”

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My two cents: Meditation, daily focus practice on the breath, helps the imposters to fade away harmlessly.

We give up trying to control, to influence, to attain things.

True observation is a learned skill, accomplished through daily practice and application.

Are you devoting at least a half hour a day for meditating?

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The Book of Awakening: Mark Nepo; Choices?

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“Yet we tend to lose our way when faced with choices.

Tension builds around decisions because we quickly sort and name one way as good and another as bad. This quickly twists into an either/or sense that one way is right and another is wrong.

In prizing what we prefer, we start to feel a thirst for something particular, which getting we call “success,” and a fear of not getting it, which we then call “failure.”

From all this, we begin to feel the tightening pressure not to make a terrible mistake.

Thus, we are often stymied and confused because we forget that—beneath our sorting of everything into good and bad, right and wrong, success and failure—all the choices still hold the truth and strength of life, no matter what we prefer.

To be certain, sharing a common beat does not mean that everything is the same, for things are infinite in how they differ.

And faced with the richness of life, we can’t value everything the same.

But when we believe that only what we want holds the gold, then we find ourselves easily depressed by what we lack.

Then we are pained by what we perceive as the difference between here and there, between what we have and what we need.

We still need to discern the ten thousand things we meet, but holding them to the light of our heart, we can say, “Not Two! Only One!” and realize there are no wrong turns, only unexpected paths.”

Extra credit: https://ptsdawayout.com/2018/02/24/choices-during-the-day/

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Pandemic brings a Paradigm Change

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What thought comes to mind when you view these pics? This was normal before this pandemic and maybe it will return, maybe not.

 

How soon do you plan on being part of a crowd like these?

 

Another paradigm change was my “Ego”.

 

My creation (Ego”) has changed drastically with healing!

 

My creation (I, me, mine) has evolved because of my meditation practice.

 

My early creation was unworthy to his core. Constant criticism and violence were the building blocks.

 

After childhood my young adult suffered with this pure victim creation, my “Ego”.

 

I felt damaged to my core, not fixable, sentenced to a life of suffering.

 

Meditation taught me otherwise.

 

Slowly, with daily practice and determination things shifted.

 

My unworthy creation was completely inaccurate, more an indictment on my original caregivers, than on an abused child.

 

Meditation taught me to let my creations die a lonely death. Life was much easier when I was present and aware, free of judgment.

 

This new “Ego” was worthy, complete and happy at times.

 

Words can not describe the enormous change on my existence.

 

I share this so others may not give up hope. If I can dig out of this hole, so can you.

 

In this moment, right now, my worthiness overflows my being, a calm, confident feeling soothes me.

 

Life will never approach perfect, the external world still brings scary challenges.

 

Acceptance has lightened my burden.

More change: https://ptsdawayout.com/2020/02/23/change-rarely-happens-without-practice/

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When anger arrives.

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When anger, hate, or resentment are present, happiness is not, drama ensues.

When I believe the storyline of unworthiness, depression is my companion.

When desires lead to a feeling of lack, that needy victim comes out to play.

When lost in thought, dissociative and unaware, boredom and confusion are my rewards.

When coveting something from another, my life is hapless and hopeless.

When the need for approval overwhelms all else, I am lost and wasting life.

When I let go and observe life as it is, happiness becomes available.

Identifying with our thoughts and emotions brings suffering, observing them from a distance brings opportunity.

I may struggle at times but I know the path back to observing life in the present.

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Navigating judgment: Easter Style

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In a way my mindfulness practice manages my judgments.

If I feel bored, mindfulness has taught me, this is an erroneous judgment. This is a signal my needy “Ego” has brought desires I must have or else.

What a crock of bs that judgment has become. I laugh when a desire or need besides the basics tries to draw me into lacking.

After food, shelter, security, a little community, etc. need is not connected to wellbeing. If you feel lack, explore your erroneous judgments.

The Unknown can be a monster, like an abstract Demon haunting our thoughts, stealing valuable time never to be recovered.

No matter if we are poor or filthy rich, the unknown does not care. If worry is your weakness, the unknown is your scary ghost.

I have learned not to focus on my own plight without seeing the bigger picture.

There is always many, many more people suffering worse than us.

If I think about the plight of vulnerable children, my burden lightens.

I have cultivated kindness, gratitude and giving while meditating.

Learned to stay present and live in the moment.

Thoughts, judgments and negative emotions can create fear, worry and doubt.

Adopt the idea we are on this journey together, in harmony.

This pandemic highlights those souls to poor to have healthcare having enormous impact our health more than ever believed in the past.

Those homeless could spread this pandemic. All of a sudden their wellbeing impacts us.

In this small town, we started to House the homeless at the fairgrounds.

Who thought that could ever happen?

Took a pandemic to show us, we are all on this journey together.

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