Posts Tagged ‘happiness’

A few Choices during the day.

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Desire or Gratitude?

Choose gratitude.

 

 


The past, present or future?

Choose this present moment.

 

 


Being sedentary or taking action?

Choose action.

 

 

 

Giving, taking or receiving?

Choose giving.

 

 

 

Simple or complex?

Choose simple.

 

 

 

Taking responsibility or victim hood?


Responsibility is our only choice!
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Our Blind Force: “DESIRE”

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“Everyone would agree that desire is natural and plays an essential role in helping us to realize our aspirations.

 

But desire is only a blind force that in itself is neither helpful nor harmful.”

Matthew Ricard
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My two cents: We have erroneously judged many things to contain happiness, that only offer momentary pleasure or avoidance of blame.

 

We think praise from others contains happiness! We think criticism damages our soul.

 

 

Neither has anything to do with happiness. External stimuli does not decide our wellbeing.

 


Nothing external can reach our spirit, our soul.

 

 

Victor Frankl came out of Auschwitz and wrote “Man’s Search for Meaning.”

 


The human spirit, our soul can find meaning in the worst of conditions.

 


The human spirit can also find suffering in the best of conditions.

 

 

It is our choice to find purpose and meaning out of the only life we have.
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Loving kindness: Affirmation use or meditation practice?

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Inhale: I give myself inner peace.

Visualize inner peace entering your lungs, being absorbed, soothing your being.


I used to visualize scrubbing bubbles cleansing my inner world, like that TV  commercial.

 

 

 


No thought, just cleansing, healing focus. Listen inward, focus intently, calm in this warm cocoon.

Hold on to the pause, feel your lungs expanded, full.


Getting oxygen is a necessity, our most immediate, vital need.

 

 

Exhale: I give myself loving kindness.


Feel the energy around your solar plexus.


The exhale clears the used air, making room for more life force (oxygen).

 


Pauses:  The pauses bring proportion, rhythm, time for absorption, purge and balance to our breath.


Repeat, inhale, hold, exhale, hold.   “TWO MINUTES


Two minute practice sessions seem to entice our mind best.


Focus intently and enjoy this healing adventure.


Attitude is extremely important!
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Why is change so difficult???????????

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Where does all the resistance come from? Why do we isolate, avoid unpleasant situations and people. Why do we chase and covet pleasant situations, people who approve of us, accomplishment, power, status and security?

 

Seems a decent strategy to avoid pain and soak up accomplishment in the short-term. Counterintuitive, knowing this strategy leads to suffering.

 

We have practiced habits, patterns of behavior, some subconscious in origin. We have created an “Ego” to mirror our habitual patterns. Our identity is wrapped around this “Ego”. Be it a banker, athlete, monk, priest, accountant, home maker, actor, philanthropist, etc.

 

 

Inside this cocoon, we judge ourself, find a place where we believe we fit, belong. When we enter a room, our “Ego” scans the occupants and decides if we are superior or inferior, then ranks our status.

 

 

Yes, this is superficial and kind of crazy. First, the “Ego” is a mirage, we are not what we think or judge. Second those occupations are what we do, not who we are.

 

 

Our mind is the issue, also the solution.

 

 

Fear of the unknown and this “Ego” are the main culprits keeping us from changing. We would rather suffer a known situation than risk changing, even when there is a possibility of success.

 

 

The “Ego” covets complete control. Healing means the “Ego” loses more and more control. In reality the “Ego” does not know what is good or bad for us. The “Ego” only, desires complete control.

 

 

Remember he/she generates 60,000 thoughts daily to influence where we place our attention.

 

 

You will definitely encounter your own “Ego” if you take this healing journey. He/She is not evil, he/she is only a follower not our captain.

 

 

Training the mind to empty and focus takes power from the “Ego”.
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Being vulnerable is not easy!

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Being vulnerable was extremely difficult for me. My entire childhood was filled with violence, criticism and pressure to be perfect.

 

We are captives as children to our first caregivers. We do not get to choose kind, normal parents.

 

I learned the ability to be vulnerable from my mindfulness practice, my path to healing.

 

This ability helped me face my triggers and integrate my trauma.

 

I improved and wrestled my life back, but going forward, being vulnerable was still a challenge. Doubt, worry and fear have a deep imprint.

 


Abused children do not believe everything will turn out alright.

 

We have history of our nightmarish upbringing, which turned out horribly. No one came to our rescue and we suffered.

 


Now my freedom and happiness depend on my ability to surrender to my fears, to be vulnerable in the face of my fear.

 

 


This can be challenging at times.
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Are Your Hitting Your Losada Line of Happiness? By Claire Dorotik-Nana, LMFT ~

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It has been said that positive emotions expand our consciousness in ways that help us solve problems. For Barbara Frederickson, the author of Positivity: Top-Notch Research Reveals the Upward Spiral That Will Change Your Life, positive emotions build upon one another in ways that extend beyond the present moment.

 

Rather than focusing on developing an overarching or all-encompassing habit of happiness, Frederickson argues, we should focus on small “micromoments,” or opportunities for happiness. It is from these moments that we can then broaden and build upon a larger goal of more lasting happiness.

 

So just how many “micromoments” do we need?

 

In her early work with Marcial Losada, Frederickson answered this question. In what is now known as the “Losada line” Frederickson and Losada showed that the ratio of positive to negative emotions that fosters flourishing, learning, optimism, and even overcoming various negative physiological factors that accompany negative emotions, is effectively 2.93, or three positive emotions for every negative one.

 

In one study, Frederickson asked 86 participants to submit daily emotions reports – as opposed to focusing on larger and more general questions such as: “Over the last few months, how much joy did you feel?”

 

Continue reading

Non-Extraordinary moments

 

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“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness.

 

It’s right in front of me if 

 

I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”

– Brené Brown –

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Small mundane thoughtless moments are filled with inner peace when approached with gratitude and humility.

 

We need sometime each day when the mind is empty, focused and expansive.

 

Happiness is not found in chasing pleasure but in giving and gratitude.

 

Jealousies disappear in the broth of gratitude.

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