Posts Tagged ‘Gratitude’

Thoughts again bring so many issues!

Bowie my grandson

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Hooking up to our Aware Presence? What is it?

You can observe your Aware Presence when thought fades, when focus sharpens, when clarity arrives.

What is it, though? It does not have any memory, any idea of a past or future, and lacks ability to judge.

I am happier in a place where judgment fades. Lost in thought is a recipe for suffering.

If you believe happiness is connected to our Aware Presence, meditation is the train we ride, together.

Are you happier lost in thought or connected to your Aware Presence?

If we looked at the big picture, we would change the way we live.

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The Science of Self-Talk: Rumination

johnhain / 1133 images

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It’s important to note here that negative emotion (or negative affect) is not necessarily your enemy. It’s how you think about negative emotions that makes them negative.

In other words, how you represent negative emotions to yourself in your own self-talk is the key ingredient that turns them into real negativity. How so?

Researchers studying depression have figured out that people with clinical depression have a kind of compulsive destructive self-talk.

Psychologists call it rumination, and its characteristic is repetitively going over symptoms of distress, like a scab you keep obsessively picking at.

Its other characteristic is passivity. You don’t focus on solutions but problems.

So you have a negative emotion, such as sadness, but, on top of that sadness, you’re telling yourself this toxic story:

It’s all useless, I can’t do anything right. I’ve been stuck in this same position forever and I’ll never get out of it.

Dysfunctional self-talk tells a story. It’s the wrong kind of story, a story in which you’re passive and helpless.

In constructive self-talk, on the other hand, you see yourself as someone who can achieve your goals. That doesn’t just lift your mood.

It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you see yourself as capable, then you have the right perspective to become capable.

That puts you in the driver’s seat.

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My two cents: Self talk: “Edward Bourne PhD. Anxiety specialist: “It is so automatic and subtle you don’t notice it or the effect it has on your moods and feelings. It appears in telegraphic form- one short word or image (”Oh no!) contains a whole series of thoughts, memories, or associations. Anxious.18th self-talk is typically irrational but almost always sounds like the truth.
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Enquiring Minds want to know: Change

 

 

Alexas_Fotos / 20674 images

 

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How many people make a significant change in their life? What percentage would you assign to change?

 

Why do you think change is such a monumental task?

 

I know that human nature would rather endure a known suffering than risk change, even if change would benefit us.

 

This must be the road less traveled.

 

I have opined in many posts about taking risks and improving.

 


Looking deep inside yourself, what needs to happen for you to risk change?

 

It is different for all of us.

 

Therapists I have asked, say 5% of clients do the work and risk change.

 

We go crazy about politics but look at how few vote.

 

Are we drawn to the easy way out, seeking pleasure, avoiding anything awkward or difficult.

 

I know some of the greatest, most satisfying lives have been filled will difficulty, loss and drama. Lincoln, Mother Theresa, and Mandela come to mind.

 

Maybe if we increased our gratitude and giving, change would be easier.


Please share your thoughts on change.
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Improving in my mindfulness group

https://pixabay.com/users/QuinceMedia-1031690/

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We work on brain science, focus, letting go, body awareness, thoughts, and application of our practice.

We work on issues that derail us. Home work or focus during the week has helped strengthen their practice and improve life.

We work on sitting shorter periods with maximum effort (focus). I have introduced different objects of focus.

I always recommend using my breathing model and listening as our core focus. Then ideas like, altruism (loving kindness gratitude), showering others with kindness without regard for reward becomes our focus object.

A shift in focus from a visual to listening object expands everyone’s skill level.

Imagine sitting with your back to a dense jungle, tender dry from a year long drought. Something in the jungle is heading our way.

Can you quiet down inside your ears, listening deep into that jungle?

Scenario two: We are commanding a submarine 200 feet below the surface. An enemy ship is hunting us. Shhhhhh.

Absolute quiet, absolute silence is our goal for the next 15 minutes.

Add some creative challenges to your mindfulness practice.

Enjoy the journey.

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Complex or Simple: ways to heal

Pixabay: Englund

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Changing life is simple, definitely not easy, bordering on extremely difficult. Most paths are complex, arduous, and long.

One path is immediate, change happens instantly.

Where we place our attention has immediate consequences or rewards, depending how you judge it.

Example: Yesterday Vic shared how a belligerent skateboarder tormented him and then broke his side mirror.

This display threatened his manhood, he surmised. Our male “Egos” resemble a peacock displaying those feathers, sensitive to any threat.

Here is the place where our choice determines life. Place your attention on being a victim, wronged and ridiculed, or use your Focus to resist judging.

Your “Ego” is pissed, accept the adolescents unrest, or take a breath, and smile. Your practice overrides the “Egos” attempt to control behavior (mind).

We can let the skateboarder own his own behavior without any personal involvement.

We could smile at the wisdom of seeing the big picture, the importance of placing our attention on worthy objects.

Know how destructive, some of the thoughts our “Ego” brings forward.

Discount, laugh, ignore the “egos” judgments, victimhood!

The duration of time Vic spends ruminating has shortened, he is improving.

Vic has worked on awareness, listening to the inner critic. Worked on building focus and letting judgments fade without attention.

Healing is not immediate or massive usually, it happens in small increments after daily practice and application.

Hopefully seeing Vic progress using mindfulness skills will inspire you to try.

Healing and happiness are an internal way of living, being.

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A crazy time in my life where lacking was absent

Pixabay: geralt

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My journey meditating and improving has revealed counterintuitive truths.

Surrendering is the ultimate power for instance.

Three years ago, Guillian Beret paralyzed me from the neck down.

In ICU, being in a life and death situation, somehow I accepted my situation. My daughter just had a baby who had a chest infection, so I was on my own.

Having just relocated months before, I had no support system.

You would think I would feel enormous lack, fear and anxiety.

We say Why me?

I had blogged for a couple years championing the power of a meditating practice.

Why not me?

Somehow I accepted the challenge and decided I would smile and greet everyone with kindness.

Refusing to feel sorry for myself, to worry or doubt became my mantra.

Testing my willpower and meditation practice against this disease was the challenge.

Looking back, my scariest time was the first day home alone. What I had just experienced, overwhelmed me when the journey ended.

My focus and acceptance had never been more acute.

Now, I try to repeat this acceptance with mundane life.

When have you entered a task with total acceptance?

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Small, specific, concrete, immediate actions

Pixabay: klimkin

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If you desire the mind to engage fully, entice it with Small, specific, concrete, immediate actions.

The mind languishes looking for ways to accomplish future abstract goals.

Abstract goals in the distant future do not connect with daily action.

Change needs concrete, specific and immediate goals.

My Meditation/Mindfulness practice fulfills all of these requirements.

Focus on the breath is the most immediate, concrete action we have as humans.

We can survive days, even weeks without much food or water, but lack of oxygen kills in minutes.

The breathe is our foundation of life, wellbeing and direction.

Following my breathe leads me below the bias of my “Ego”.

My Aware Presence becomes dominant for short periods of clarity and delight.

My life and world views receive proper alignment every time I meditate.

Judgments, negative thoughts and emotions are filtered effortlessly.

Cleaning out the negative noise freed me to enjoy more of life.

Self worth grew, giving expanded, and gratitude filled my soul.

Opportunity is available for all of us.

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