Posts Tagged ‘Goals’

Forgetting about time, being late, in a hurry: time is not our friend

Pixabay: nile

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I try to enter as many tasks as possible each day.

First we must eliminate time during the event.

A simple example for me is doing Laundry.

To eliminate time from this mundane chore, I search for my purpose.

Washing, then drying, folding, then hanging the clothes allows my grandkids to look as good as possible. This purpose makes me feel good, rates high with my mindfulness practice.

Next my focus stays with each shirt, paying attention to neatly adjust it on a hangar, then I move on to the next shirt.

In the past, this chore took to long, my main purpose was to get done as soon as possible.

The perfect formula for unawareness, wasting life.

If you check, most of our existence deals with mundane things.

Look at all the time we spend in lines, in traffic, in boring scenarios.

Unless you are a surgeon dealing with life and death or have a dangerous occupation, monotony kills awareness.

Mindfulness gives equal attention to the urgent and mundane.

For some adrenaline junkies, taking huge risks is the only way to feel alive.

I have felt alive, present, content hanging up laundry.

No, I do not wish for more laundry but I have found a way to enjoy the task.

A surgeon does not enjoy the surgery but he/she relishes the focus needed to perform such a complex and important task.

A great concert pianist, an outstanding athlete, or a talented painter enter their tasks without thought or narrative.

They sort of become one with their skill.

Our challenge is to create this space with our mundane activities each day.

Can you make time disappear inside a daily chore?

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Unworthiness turns into Self -Hate .

https://pixabay.com/users/geralt-9301/

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Meditation for me was not about a spiritual journey, searching for enlightenment or an awakening. Whatever the hell enlightenment is, out there, achieved after two to three decades of daily practice.

Meditation was my last hope finding relief from childhood PTSD. My dads constant criticism and abuse created a big unworthy hole in me.

A parent demanding perfection from a child, damages that child beyond belief. Life becomes a struggle, unworthiness manifests as self hate.

We abandon reading what our bodies need and start trying to fulfill the needs of the parent. We become strangers to ourselves.

I had a therapist say, if your dad wrote your epitaph on a grave stone, it would be, never good enough.

That is damage at my core, not a flaw.

Enter meditation: It took enormous daily practice to see unworthiness as a mirage. It took ten times that effort to accept and be vulnerable in the face of an unworthy trigger erupting.

Unworthy started before my mind developed. It becomes stealthy, sabotaging everything we try to do.

Unworthiness seeks solitude, desires approval over all else, then runs from negativity or criticism.

Unworthiness brings so much self hate that some external approval is needed to survive. It consumes our existence.

I have seen self hate manifest in an outwardly happy go lucky man. The desire to appear normal or the need to gain approval at all costs springs from self hate.

My unworthiness fueled my professional baseball career. I could outwork everyone else without that much difficulty.

The need for approval was far greater than any amount physical exercise.

Life was dedicated to working out, the goal was to enjoy success, which brought approval.

I accomplished my goal, even enjoyed some adulation, sports fans are passionate.

Only one problem, approval has nothing to do with healing or happiness.

I had to change my goal.

The need for approval dissiapated the more I meditated.

It is always a battle, healing is not a point of time but a daily, moment by moment awareness.

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Do you welcome Adversity as a challenge or a punishment?

e: Bob Beamon of the USA leaps a record-breaking 29ft 2.5in (8.9m) at the 1968 Olympic Games in Mexico City © Tony Duffy/Getty Images

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Adversity uncovers strengths and weaknesses, character and character flaws.

 

Adversity brings fear to some, an opportunity to others.

 

Without adversity my life would be hollow.

 

Adversity has given me the greatest satisfaction and purpose in my life.

 

Athletically, it is my weekly anchor. Pushing this chronic pain filled body, four miles, to near exhaustion, invigorates my spirit.

 

It flushes poisons, gains accomplishment which is shared with my mind.

 

Pushing beyond wanting to quit, beyond pain, exerting great effort, is the most alive I feel.

 

I am in the moment, all focus on picking up one leg, followed by the other, thought has ceased, Worry and doubt have long left the building.

 

Challenge yourself, push beyond your perceived limits.

 

Without adversity how could you ever know what you are capable of.

 

Extend those false boundaries, push, risk, exert.

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Effort and Attitude

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If we must judge ourselves, base your assessment on the effort you give.

Do you give all out effort, try to practice and live fully?

If so relax and enjoy the journey.

Results are external and out of our control.

We control our effort and attitude.

Be present, be positive and look for opportunity.

Let go of the rest.

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What do you do for your mental health, daily?

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People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.
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Thich Nhat Hanh
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Getting people to take action is the toughest thing a therapist or life coach faces.
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People want a pill to cure them or a therpast to heal them inside that hour session.
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We convince ourself to suffer what habit has taught us over and over.
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Do you work on your mental health?
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Why not?
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Our purpose in life is to be happy, says Matthew Ricard!
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What have you done to cultivate happiness?
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Possessions, approval, success, achievement are just impermanent possessions, surely not happiness.
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Maybe we need to explore our inner world to know what happiness is and where it hangs out.
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Is change so scary or the unknown so terrifying or are we lazy?
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Before we Meditate—-

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We realize that thoughts are air, judgments mirages, control a fallacy.  Scan your body and breathe into tight spots or painful areas.

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Remember to focus on each breath then move on to the next one.

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Where we are headed has no:
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No right or wrong.
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No good or bad.
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No pleasure or pain.
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No decisions, bias or judgments.
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No emotions.
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No I, me, mine or Ego.
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No resistance, control or exertion of influence.
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No avoidance.
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There is specific focus on the breath, a slowing, a calming of the nervous system and heart rate.

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We do let go of thought and emotion, we do listen intently to our inner world.

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What’s left is awareness, acceptance, then surrender to all that arises.

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We are  an observer, watching ourselves in a rerun on imaginary TV.

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The scene we are watching is over with, so comment or influence is uneccesary.

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Relax, let go, enjoy the ride, you are safe.

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Impermanent, unsatisfactory, and not-self. . . . . . .Desire versus gratitude.

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Anything we can attain, accomplish or covet in the future, is impermanent, unsatisfactory and not self.
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Otherwise, affluence would equal happiness, riches would bring lasting joy, and power would shower us with peace of mind.
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None of these statements have any reality, permanence to them.
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All things whither and die or change, even rocks.
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Beauty succumbs to age, possessions fail to calm desire, and being important has a false center.
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Try letting go of needing so much!
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Try gratitude instead of desire for a day.
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Try giving to others without regard for reward.
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Try something different than feeding the “Ego”.
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