Posts Tagged ‘giving’

Unintended consequences of meditation



My healing journey floundered through therapies with little impact.

Healing seemed impossible until I wandered into a new hybrid therapy that used mindfulness, ACT (Acceptance and Commitment therapy).

Being obsessed with healing, I meditated with a vengeance. Five hours a day for five years.

Healing was slow without direction or the wisdom needed to heal, so I sat more.

Healing arrived in subtle ways at first, then plotted a path to wellbeing.

Unintended consequences arrived with the planned ones.

My compassion center opened wide and I could feel others suffering intimately.

To this day seeing homeless people tears at me emotionally.

I feel their suffering immediately, it impacts my life, my thoughts, and my emotions.

It is a helpless feeling, I can not impact all this suffering.

My happiness is clouded with knowing these souls suffer in my midst.

Most people ignore or do not see these souls as people worth caring about.

Yesterday, while buying a pizza for my grandkids inside this crowded market, I asked for a extra slice.

While buying that piece of pizza, I announced that slice was for the homeless guy at the exit.

It was not to enhance my ego, but to show others it is ok to care and give.

Most were shocked, a few smiled and I could see the givers amongst me.

We need to be a country of givers, a society of compassionate souls.

The landscape I see does not resemble giving, we have become takers as a country.

Open your compassion center, giving to the less fortunate is a road that leads to a happy, fulfilled life.

We think money and power lead to happiness.

Happiness is not an isolated feeling, hard to be happy with suffering overwhelming our landscape.

Please share your feelings on others suffering.



What is our Responsibility?



Is our happiness separate,  isolated from those around us?


Can one be happy when surrounded by suffering?


Do we have a responsibility to give to others?


Is our happiness indirectly tied to giving?


I think we must choose our way of supporting others, then take action.


What do you think?



Updated: Visualize your “Ego” as a ventriloquist Dummy


Think of how our mind is constructed. One of the most complex organs ever found, capable of tremendous achievement or extreme suffering.


One of the parts we invent has no origin or real existence. Yes, it is the “Ego”. Search every part of your mind and an ego can not be found.


Yes, we invent this “Ego” for identity, I, me, mine! Identity is its purpose. Nothing more.


Think of your “Ego” as a ventriloquist dummy. We give that damn puppet power and life, not command of our being.


That dummy runs a good part of our life unfortunately.


The Dummy is the one who feels resentment, judges constantly, and feels unworthy. The “Ego” is never equal to another “Ego”. He/She judges itself superior or inferior to all “Ego’s” it encounters.


Here in lies the rub, we never feel complete when the “Ego” is in control.


That means happiness is impossible.


One day I was having a conversation with a friend and he said something upsetting. My response to him was, my “Ego” is pissed at you.


Finally I had isolated my “Ego’s” needs and emotion in a real encounter. I could see “I” disagreed with my “Ego”. I had a choice for the first time.


Just because my “Ego” was pissed meant nothing unless I agreed.


Our “Ego” covets total control. This leads to suffering and loss.


Is your dummy controlling your life?


The “Ego” is dormant during meditation, also the time when our happy emotions, contained in the left prefrontal cortex light up.

Our choice of Paths


In this moment right now, I surround myself with kindness


Next, I send kindness to everyone that crosses my path.


I am not in competition with others, I share this path and look for opportunity to help others.


The real pleasures in life can be experienced in these small mundane crevices of existence.


Under the cognitive glare of comparison, under the biased judgment of our “Ego”, lies wellbeing.


Wellbeing (Happiness) sprouts from gratitude and giving.


Giving without regard for reward fuels the happy soul.


When feeling down, gloomy, depressed, or lost, look for ways to give.


Where do I start?

Giving without regard for reward has many benefits.


Giving this way, opens up our compassion center.


Gratitude will grow when you help others, a great side effect.


Life looks and feels different when giving takes over.


If you need a purpose, none better than giving.


Gratitude and giving change us, transforms us, offers us the space where wellbeing and happiness live.


Besides my family, giving is the most precious possession I have.

That awareness has developed with daily meditation and practice.


Besides being a possession, giving is a boomerang.

Throw giving around and watch what comes back.


Even smiles and kind words have enormous power.

Let’s take a look at Thanksgiving

I try to look at this as a day of gratitude. Counting my blessings but keenly aware of the increased suffering of the masses.


Growing up for me, one parent could work, one could stay home and be financially safe. Maslow hierarchy of needs were taken care of. Life was simpler, easier it seemed.



I see more people suffering now, than any point in my life. The homeless situation is at epic levels. Not just drug addicts, bums and mentally ill but whole families beg on street corners. Our happiness in a spiritual sense is tied to the happiness of our downtrodden.



22 vets commit suicide everyday for last two years without much trepidation. We would never take 22 battlefield deaths a day for more than a week in our current so called wars. Peak incidence for PTSD in a war is two plus decades after war ends. We have never engaged in a war this long or deployed and redeployed troops like this.





Our pharmaceutical companies and doctors helped create an opioid epidemic nationwide without any consequences. They have increased foster children across this country and damaged the fabric of our country for profit. I see no indictments, no consequences except for the poor end-user. Doctors and pharmaceutical companies are not held responsible for the epidemic they created.




Corporations make double-digit profits with hospitals that may save your life one day, but take your house and everything you own six months later with aggressive debt collectors.


I wish we cared more for the unfortunate, the needy. Look at the amount of money spent on the midterm elections. What a waste. We could feed or give healthcare to the needy instead of political commercials.



In conclusion, we need to give more, care more about others on this journey.  We are not in competition with others but journey together.  All those possessions, all that status and power, evaporate when we die.



what is left is a legacy of helping others or nothing!  Give today and add to your legacy.

Giving: a powerful action, a life changing act if repeated.

In the previous post, “Performing Acts of Kindness Can Reduce Depression in Disagreeable People”, giving changed their attitude.


Loving Kindness practice, like repeating phrases, “May you be happy” or “May you be safe” did not impact these disagreeable people as much.


Giving is an action, and in this case action influences change.



Action is closer to life, sedentary closer to death.


Takes action to change, to heal, to live fully.


Repetitive action can change habit or the impact of a disorder.


Take daily action, challenge the man/woman in the mirror.


Pay attention to your inner world, a place where you have influence.


Happiness depends on the internal condition, not external circumstances.


When we give without concern for reward, the “Ego” recedes into the background.


We need to feel the contrast between when the “Ego” recedes and being totally present, empty of thought, worry and fear.

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