Posts Tagged ‘Focus’

We must be able to endure the awkward, the uncomfortable

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Reading one of the blogs I follow, a post listed all the doubts, judgments, concerns about the therapist, therapy and her own worthiness or unworthiness.

 

It seemed a celebration of victimhood wrapped in the Ego’s narrative.

 

Healing will never happen if we wait till things feel good or it is the right time to try.

 

Safe is never arriving, even the richest man has no idea what’s around the next bend.

 

 

We have to learn to withstand, to endure situations and people who make us uncomfortable, uneasy or even a little scared.

 

Unless we endure, experience these situations, healing or happiness will always be a stranger.

 

We will never feel that calm, that feeling of I am ok, worthy!

 

Being worthy comes from within, not through achievement or approval.

 

Next time a trigger explodes, focus on your breath, observe the narrative and watch it fade away.

 

A calm, a knowing you are fine arrives to greet us.

 

 

Healing or being on a spiritual journey is not an easy, calm path, it can be highly charged, scary and turbulent, like life.

 

Build your focus and hunt down your fears.

 

 

It is a battle, many do not see it like this.
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We need to release the thinker at times!!!!!!!

 

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When triggered, depressed, anxious, angry, stressed or fearful, we must limit its duration! These emotional sates can consume life, every waking moment.

 

The longer we grasp them, the stronger the neural pathway that forms.

 

We have many tools. First we need to let go of the storyline attached to these negative emotions.

 

If we have practiced meditating, we are able to focus on the breath, allowing these emotions to fade from our consciousness. Our breathing is the easiest and quickest way we can calm down.

 

 

I used gratitude to replace negative emotion. I gave thanks for small things, a hot shower, friends, my health, my practice, my tools for healing, etc. I found my gratitude dwarfed that emotion.

 

 

Distraction or entering a task can bring many benefits. I go hike in nature, strenuously. What my eyes see, my nose smells and skin feels is witnessed without judgment. This brings me achievement and exhilaration to body and mind.

 

 

Every time a negative storyline arrives with negative emotion, insert your affirmation. In this moment, right now, I accept all of me. I am perfect as my true self, seeing unlimited opportunity available, today.

 

Prepare a meal or do the laundry. Enter the task, be the knife slicing the vegetables. Slow down, let thought clear, just be in the moment.

 

 

Give and give some more. Giving, maybe just a smile and kind greeting. Care about someone beyond your own ego. Feel their pain, their need! Offer some small comfort.
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Why do people staring at me impact my life so negatively?

 

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I share this with a feeling of extreme embarrassment.

 

 

It seems so mundane, so ridiculous on paper, but in real life, it is my invisible prison.

 

 

Why does this seem to have such a negative influence, such an enormous power, such a quick, catastrophizing affect.

 

 

A childhood filled with constant criticism, extreme physical violence and harsh abuse, lives just beneath the surface of my consciousness.

 

 

I was a thing to my father, like the owner of a fighting pit bull. My worth was how good I made him look playing sports.

 

 

I had a big nose as a kid, which made me a target for ridicule, shame and unwanted attention.

 

 

Add this experience to my fathers abuse and my trauma manifests as social anxiety.

 

 

These two situations dominated my childhood, nowhere was I safe.

 

 

Catastrophic loss seems possible for me, when it explodes.

 

 

My C-PTSD came from this sick childhood.

 

 

Cognitively, I know all of this is irrational, transparent and impossible.

 

 

Knowing does not eliminate hypervigilance, anxiety, fear or shame!

 

 

They run on their own without conscious influence or control.

 

 

If I spend time thinking about any of this, it grows.

 

 

My job is to Meditate, slow the mind, focus it, and then let all these judgments and thoughts pass on by.

 

 

The most I have to fear is my own reaction to this stimuli.

 

 

No matter what, living fully and happily is my goal, not isolation or hiding for safety.

 

 

Thoughts? I have decided to share my journey in more detail as ptsd resurfaces in my life.
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Neuroscience combined with the Breath

 

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As I work with trauma people trying to heal, I am reminded how confusing, paralyzing and scary the journey can be.

 

 

PTSD feels like an enormous monster, a monster we are extremely vulnerable to. This monster is not external, he/she works from the inside.

 

 

We carry our unworthiness, our fear, our trauma inside our mind and inside our body.

 

 

The “Ego” we have created is also vulnerable, he/she is never equal to another “Ego”.

 

 

He/She craves approval, despises criticism.    He/She is the culprit who ruminates (dissociates) into past danger or future worry.

 

 

Our mind is our worst enemy or greatest asset.

 

 

Funny but using the breath with our focus, changes brain chemistry, changes our lives.

 

 

The mind is so plastic that it can change in a month.

 

 

Be smart, combine neuroscience with meditation (the breath) and reap the benefits.
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New Years Resolution: awareness!

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Bring awareness to past resolutions. Why have they not changed our lives? Seems we have a plethora of self-help books and paths, more every year.

 

Why would we need so many more self-help books if one of them did the job! I was a consumer of many of those self-help books.

 

Human nature works against all those books of internal change. We would rather suffer a familiar pain than risk change, the unknown.

 

93% quit pursuing a New Years Resolution within the first month.

 

Why?

 

Change terrifies our “Ego”, threatens his/her control of our being.

 

If we would change, choosing to stay present instead of grasping thought, our “Ego” loses control.

 

The “Ego” rules using the 60,000 thoughts it brings forward everyday.  It is as literal as your keyboard, never equal to another “Ego” and constantly jockeys for control of our being and other “Egos”.

 

It wants to file away every scenario we could face daily. The “Ego” wants to run our life on autopilot. We drive our car, stop at red, go when green, yield to the car to the right at other intersections.

 

For every situation, he/she has the response cued up for us to act appropriately.

 

No wonder most New Year Resolutions dissolve within weeks or  months.

 

Maybe we need to change how we look at change and wellbeing?

 

Here’s a different resolution. I decided to free myself of past and current judgments.

 

When a judgment arrives, I ask myself, can I live without this judgment. Then I repeat my mantra of release, release, release.

 

Hard to believe we can gain so much by losing judgment.

 

Lighten your load, dump the trash.
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Choices??

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Let’s begin in the shower, first thing in the morning. Our mind will turn itself into planning the day before us.

 

This is the first opportunity of the day, first choice. Do we look forward to the day with enthusiasm? Do we search ways to avoid or navigate around people and things?

 

Are we in a foul mood, unhappy, agitated, resentful, angry at life and our position in it.

 

That foul mood is a choice! A conscious choice we can let go.

 

Every morning we can choose to be present, focused and enthusiastic.

 

Once again we control only ATTITUDE and EFFORT.

 

First thing in the morning is the perfect chance to choose the present good mood, right now.

 

Feeling sorry for ourselves, feeling depressed or anxious, steals minutes, hours and days, we will never get back.

 

Time on this earth is limited, act like it, be aware.

 

At least be aware when WE waste precious life.
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Lining up our healing practice!

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Let us train the brain, the mind to let go of all the negative, all the judgment, all the resentment, all the anger, all the unworthiness, all the helpless, hopeless thought and emotion.

 

We need to line up our healing, have all of our oars rowing in the right direction, then at the right cadence of our being.

 

First our self image needs affirmations repeated out-loud. This addresses the unworthiness we harbor.

 

Second, we initiate a daily focus practice (Meditation) along with constant application of staying present.

 

Third, Physical exercise, preferably aerobic to exhaustion for flushing the toxins, strengthening the mind and body, and mental and physical accomplishment.

 

Work on observing strong emotions, judgments or comparisons from a distance. Observe means a neutral, a distant look, like watching a rerun of a past eposode of your life.

 

A reun is over, already happened, impossible to change or influence. A complete waste of time and energy. Remember happiness only exists in the present moment, all other pursuit robs us.

 

Relax, smile, challenges are part of life, accept them and exert maximum effort with a positive attitude.

 

Results are not our concern!!!!!!

 

No matter what happens, our goal is to give maximum effort with the most positive attitude we can muster.

 

Then smile and enjoy the journey.
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