Posts Tagged ‘Focus’

A few prerequisites for happiness

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First, we must have a worthy self image, a healthy ego. We must love (approve of) ourselves to be truly happy.

Our awareness must be focused in the present moment. Happiness does not exist in our memories or future predictions.

Desires and needs must be in perspective. To many needs or constant desire eliminates our chance for happiness.

Worry, doubt, Dissociation, fear etc. must be at a minimal.

When my PTSD was active and strong, being happy was impossible. Fear and anxiety stole much more than just my happiness.

If we have a disorder, we must take action or happiness will never visit us.

Happiness must be earned in spite of all the challenges we all face.

Happiness does not arrive easily or with half effort.

I believe we all can find happiness with practice.

It will look entirely different for some.

Extra credit: https://ptsdawayout.com/2017/03/14/ricard-happiness-2/

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Happiness seems elusive for most of us!

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Growing up being happy did not seem to be our goal. Being raised Catholic, I had responsibility to the church and God.

My parents demanded proper behavior at home, school and in public. Somehow out of this indoctrination and proper behavior, happiness would be attained.

Well that never worked out. I studied hard, accomplished a college degree, added seven years as a professional baseball player, before a successful working career, but lasting happiness was a complete stranger.

Now I knew possessions, accomplishments, power or approval were not connected with true happiness.

Happiness is hidden, in some of the simplest thing we do.

Hidden in the mundane, clouded by bias and thought, happiness eludes us.

Emotions lead us away from happiness. Try being angry and happy at the same time. Many emotions are connected to negative thought and judgment.

I have found peace and happiness inside mundane chores at times.

Happiness only exists in this current moment, so we need to be present first to enjoy.

Thought seems to chase away happiness for me.

There is a time to think but continuous thought like we get involved in, is destructive.

An example: I have found peace doing laundry.

My purpose: Make my grandkids look as good as possible.

How: Enter the chore completely. Each piece of clothing I pick up, receives total attention and energy. I feel like part of each piece of clothing when my focus is strong.

Time ceases, thoughts fade while a quiet calm envelopes me.

I have felt my nervous system dissipate all its anxiety and aggravation in this space.

Being totally present with laundry, has settled my being and brought a grounding, a smile to my being.

Is this a happy moment?

For me it has the correct elements.

We are Ever present while focused, observing and acting without thinking.

Happiness does occupy spaces like this.

Thoughts?

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External versus Internal truths

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“We carry inside us the wonders we seek outside us.”

– Rumi –
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My two cents: For me, my journey always sought worthiness and acceptance outside myself, from other people, institutions and teams.

This path soothed me temporarily during certain accomplishments and awards.


It is like problems, solve one problem and the next one arrives.


External praise or justification can be fleeting, definitely not permanent.

Another’s praise can change to criticism, the external is out of our control and maybe even influence at times.

Permanent things, I have found, are internal and constant.


My true self is the same, as yours, just come to now with your mind empty of thought. It is the same as last decade.

If I uncover my worthiness, my internal knowing, life changes.


The less power the external exerts upon me, the better chance I have for a happy life.


It is always simple, that is the way to be happy, surely not easy though.

Any thoughts?
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Mindfulness: A road less traveled

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In America we think happiness is connected with success, accumulating degrees, power and possessions.

Being assertive, competitive, even ruthless is acceptable in business.

We practice, learning to react to challenges, desiring to overcome them.

A Midfulness practice is different.

We practice not reacting, not judging, not grasping a negatively charged emotion.

Fear, Anger, Disgust, Sadness, Rage, Loneliness, Melancholy and Annoyance are the negative emotions.

Not easy to do, when we feel disrespected or treated unfairly.

Can we observe an individual or a situation without reacting personally?

Can we refuse to waste time, thinking about how we want to react?

Can we let anger or resentment fade without acting on its emotional impulse?

We always have the ability to react when we need to.

It would be nice if we cultivated the ability to not react when we feel different.

Having a choice gives us much more influence in our lives.

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Matthew Ricard: being present

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Observe what arises in your experience without imposing anything on it, without letting yourself be either drawn to it or put off by it.

See whatever is in front of you, a flower or any other object; listen attentively to the sounds nearby or far away; smell the fragrances and odors; feel the texture of what you are touching.

Register your various sensations, clearly perceiving their characteristics.

Be entirely present to what you are doing, whether walking, sitting, writing, doing the dishes, or drinking a cup of tea.

With mindfulness, it doesn’t matter what you are doing or whether you judge a task to be pleasant or unpleasant.

What matters is how you do it—with a mind that is clear and peaceful, attentive to what is happening, and full of wonder at the present moment, without superimposing mental constructs such as attachments or preconceptions onto reality.

When you are doing this practice, you stop endlessly swinging back and forth between attraction and aversion.

You are just attentive, lucid, and aware of each perception and sensation, of each thought that arises and passes away.

Feel the freshness of the present moment.

Do you find that it brings up a vast, luminous, and serene state of mind in you?

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Simple, Small Actions repeated daily

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Let us apply this idea of simple, small actions daily to our mental issues.

Mental disorders are complex and confusing, cortisol and adrenaline are secreted when our fight or flight mechanism fires.

Dissociation, leaving this moment to enter the past or future lost in thought, distorts time and reality.

This is a complex mechanism, we can get lost, depressed or terrified.

Therapies can also be complex and overwhelming.

My path out was simple.

Simple actions repeated over and over everyday.

It takes believing this path will work, because healing takes time and improvement is subtle and small at first.

I faced my fears using focus on my breath to stay present, observing, not judging the scary thoughts.

It took a simple action combined with a bunch of trust and courage.

It is more beneficial to take a small action than read a 100 books or take a 100 classes.

The first question becomes, What is holding me back from taking small actions?

Yesterday hiking I played this affirmation over and over as I enjoyed the scenery:

In this moment, right now, I feel my body overflowing with Kindness, Approval and Safety.

It takes me no extra effort to hit play as I hike.

Concentrate on the activity and leave results alone.

Results or answers will not arrive cognitively, it is more intuitive, organic, through the body.

Any thoughts or ideas to add?

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Chronic Pain group and Suffering

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After my triple rollover on I-5 south, after the fusions, many doctors and therapies I was left with serious chronic pain.

Along with 14 other unfortunate souls, I joined a real chronic pain group. It was depressing knowing this was my peer group.

Group was stressful at first, so many medications and fear of the unknown. You find out quickly that you share five or six different traits.

I ranked myself in the middle of the group, and damn glad I was not hurt as bad as some. Mostly spinal injuries for all 15 of us.

We all just wanted to go back to our life as it was. Hold on to that desire and suffering will be your partner.

After six months my inner guide knew it was time to change.

I threw out my pills and started to hike. My pain increased and desperately wanted me to stop.

As a jock, this was a battle I knew well. After a month of hiking everyday, my chronic pain began to compress.

I learned my thoughts and emotions could increase or decrease my pain.

I challenged another in group to follow me.

His name is Rick and this is a response from this post:

https://ptsdawayout.com/chronic-pain/

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“Everything in this article is true! I personally witnessed Marty go through this. My name is Rick and I was in the same pain management group when I met Marty and he can a test to the fact that I was close to death! A lot closer then I am today. Let me explain…

I have had 5 back surgery’s. I have a Med. Pump implanted in me which was maxed out feeding me Dilotded 24 hours a day and a spinal cord stimulator implanted in me and at the time I was taking Morphine,Percocet pulse Soma nothing helped the pain! I wanted to die! I thought my life was over.

I was only 34 when I got hurt at work and after 8 years of uncertainty and the thought of not being able to provide for my family I was at my end!

I met Marty in my pain management group and I saw someone who had a way out! I started to walk more and stop feeling sorry for myself and realized there is more to life and I cant give up! Now I’m 51 years old, Marty and I still keep in touch even though I live in TX. now. I visit with him every time I get back home. I am now doing some Acting in films and enjoying life with out all the drugs.”

Thanks Marty

Rick

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