Posts Tagged ‘Emotions’

Wasting precious time

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Well, which is it, half full or empty?

 

This  judgment wastes precious time, time spent without a chance for wellbeing.

 

Better to have the mind empty than filled with useless judgments.


Actually it is 4 ounces in an 8 ounce glass, if you want to be accurate. Neither half full or empty.   Add an ounce and do we say 60/40?  Who cares?

 

Waste it on life’s half full or empty judgments and lose.

 

We have to be able to let these easy judgments go or the emotionally charged ones will run our life.

 

Try letting go of as many judgments as possible today.

 

Make more room for being in the space where happy lives.
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Overwhelmed?

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Upon awakening this morning, I felt overwhelmed, anxious, and vulnerable.


Following these feelings and emotions backward, worry, doubt and fear were present.


These judgments projected danger for me. Complex PTSD highlights dangers that it creates.

My mind seemed confused, wanting to avoid or eliminate my predicament.

 

You could label this catastrophizing, predicting gloom and doom. It stems from my abuse, my critical upbringing. Never safe, never calm.


What can we do?

 

A couple deep breaths, intently focusing on this moment, cleared this cognitive mess.

 

I am fine taking this breath, collecting data from all my senses intently.

 

Awareness returns to this moment.

 

Reminding myself, life is not lived predicting anything in the future. 

 

Remember, happiness visits only one time zone, now.

 

You can not be happy in the past or future.

 

My healing has not eliminated these overwhelming thoughts,  but I do have tools to handle these fears.
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Fear of failure or the thrill of Victory

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Having grown up with a narcissistic caregiver, the fear of failure motivated me.
Actually the fear of failing my father’s demands would be more accurate.

 

Many of the greatest athletes ever were driven by fear of failure.
Success and stardom never diminished that insecurity.

 

Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig are perfect examples. One was bombastic, gregarious and happy-go-lucky. The other was shy, boring and very quiet.


One demanded the limelight, lived an excessive life of pleasure with food, alcohol and women.


 

The other had no apparent excess or vices,  playing like a man with average talent. Gehrig was called the iron horse, playing in over 2,000 straight games.  An incredible record that was finally broken by Cal Ripken.

 

One was incorrigible, his parents dropped the Babe off at a catholic orphanage. The other graduated from Columbia university.

 


Babe Ruth was questioned about making more money than the president. He commented he had a better year than the president. Lou Gehrig was a superstar but never felt worthy of that title.

 

A mindful athlete enjoys being in the moment, knowing his self-worth is not connected to external wins and losses.  Not an easy path for most mortals.
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IS IT POSSIBLE TO FREE OURSELVES OF NEGATIVE EMOTIONS?

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From “Happiness” by Matthew Ricard

 

You might think that ignorance and negative emotions are inherent to the flow of consciousness, and that trying to rid yourself of them is like fighting against a part of yourself. 

 

But the most fundamental aspect of consciousness, the pure faculty of knowing—what has been called the “luminous” quality of the mind—contains no hatred or desire at its core. 

 

A mirror, for instance, will reflect both angry faces and smiling ones. The very quality of the mirror allows countless images to arise, yet none of them belongs to the mirror. 

 

In fact, if the angry face were intrinsic to the mirror, it could be seen at all times and would prevent other images from arising.

 

 

Similarly, the most fundamental quality of cognition, the luminous quality of the mind, is what allows the arising of thoughts and underlies all of them. 

 

Yet none of these thoughts belongs intrinsically to the fundamental nature of the mind. 

 

 

The experience of introspection shows, on the contrary, that the negative emotions are transitory mental events that can be obliterated by their opposites, the positive emotions, acting as antidotes.

 

 

To that end, we have to begin by recognizing that the afflictive emotions are harmful to our well-being. 

 

This assessment is based not on some dogmatic distinction between good and bad, but on observation of the short-and long-term repercussions of certain emotions on oneself and on others. 

 

But the mere fact of recognizing the harmful effects of mental afflictions is not enough to overcome them. 

 

Having come to this awareness, you still have gradually to familiarize yourself with each antidote—loving-kindness as antidote to hatred, for instance—until the absence of hatred becomes second nature. 

 

The Tibetan word gom, which is usually translated as “meditation,” more precisely denotes “familiarization,” while the Sanskrit word bhavana, also translated as “meditation,” means “cultivation.” 

 

Indeed, meditation is not about sitting quietly in the shade of a tree and relaxing in a moment of respite from the daily grind; it is about familiarizing yourself with a new vision of things, a new way to manage your thoughts, of perceiving people and experiencing the World. 

PTSD picks the very, very brave soldiers, also

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“Hacksaw Ridge”

“The true story of Pfc. Desmond T. Doss, who won the Congressional Medal of Honor despite refusing to bear arms during WWII on religious grounds. Doss was drafted and ostracized by fellow soldiers for his pacifist stance but went on to earn respect and adoration for his bravery, selflessness and compassion after he risked his life — without firing a shot — in the Battle of Okinawa.”

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Over a 12 hour period, demonstrating superhuman strength and courage, he lowered 75 wounded comrades to safety. Two days later he returned to that Ridge and was wounded.

 


The movie ends with this euphoric life of grandeur, Desmond lauded and decorated with fame and glory. The real story was he suffered from crippling PTSD the rest of his life. He lived as an invalid for years, depending on his wife to take care of him. Nightmares haunted him until death.

 

 

The idea that weak soldiers get PTSD and strong ones do not, is almost abusive in nature.

 

 

This statement pisses me off and violates everything my blog and volunteering stands for.

 

There is a small percentage of people who are resistant to PTSD but that is under 5%. The rest of us are vulnerable. In battle placing a soldier at the front for extended periods increases PTSD significantly. Redeployments have also added to this epidemic of not only PTSD but suicides.

 


Soldiers with PTSD will not seek help if you strengthen that stigma of being weak causes PTSD.   This statement could not be more ignorant or uninformed.

 

Being vulnerable, accepting our weakness are part of the healing journey.
22 suicides a day is the opposite.
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My Thoughts are Endless!

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Thoughts are definitely my issue. I can discount the emotion attached to a thought or at least lessen the impact.

 

Thoughts spring from an unknown well, deep inside the cavern of our mind. We are not responsible for their content or origin.

 

 

Some thoughts shock me. I never would consider behaving in a manner detailed by some of my thoughts. Seems my “Ego” is insulted easily, seeks retribution or even revenge on that offending person. Wishing bad luck on them appears in vivid illustration and joy. Oh my, that is not me is it?

 

 

For me, letting my mind ruminate or wander aimlessly leads to trouble. In our default mode thoughts look into the unworthiness of the “I” we created. That is a target rich environment for me.

 

 

I am the happiest when I am in the moment, observing life, judging little and smiling more.

 

 

When my PTSD is triggered, thoughts arrive at a staggering rate and intensity. Combined with cortisol, adrenaline and the other physiological changes, these thoughts can wield enormous power.

 

 

Thinking becomes irrational when triggers ignite. We believe crazy thoughts easily. Fear and anxiety accelerate our pace of thinking and avoiding.

 


My relief arrives when I focus on my breath, intently, letting go of the thought, choosing to breathe into the body sensations.

 


I watch my thoughts fade when possible.  Very, very empowering to see thoughts fade, emotions melt and the mind find clarity.
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Attachment to things influences our mood, behavior, wellbeing

The Tennis Court Oath of the French Revolution.

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Our moods ebb and tide. Thoughts and emotions impact these changes.

 


The Zen Buddhists point the finger at attachment, identifying with our thoughts and “Ego.”

 

Judging an event, a person, or a situation attaches a ball and chain around our ankle.

 

 

We will defend, argue and sometimes fight to uphold that judgment. This is exhausting and drains vital energy.

 

 

Judgment is “Ego” based, emotionally charged. I, me, mine can be pissed, enraged, jealous, anxious, traumatized or joyful.

 

 

These emotions and moods can change instantly with external stimuli or focused attention.

 

 

Look at this election, people hating for their attachment to one party or the other, belief in a proposition.

 

 

Strong negative emotions remove us from our chance at happiness.

 

 

Hate and happiness are never in the same ballpark, never linked.

 


Where one is present the other is absent.
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