Posts Tagged ‘Emotions’

Key Developmental Arrests In Cptsd

Pixabay: Devanath



Complex PTSD: From surviving to thriving

What follows is a list of some of the most common developmental arrests that occur in Cptsd.

You may find that you experience a diminishment or absence of these key features of healthy human being.

Typically, survivors will vary on which and how many of these arrests relate to them.

Factors affecting this are your 4F type, your childhood abuse/ neglect pattern, your innate nature and any recovery work that you have already accomplished.


Clear sense of identity



Capacity to draw comfort from relationship

Ability to relax

Capacity for full self-expression

Willpower & Motivation

Peace of mind


Belief that life is a gift



My efforts to nurture myself in these arrested areas of development were limited and spoiled in early recovery by a feeling of resentment.

“Why do I have to do this?” was a common internal refrain.

Resentment that should have been directed toward my parents often boomeranged onto me and spoiled or thwarted my efforts at self-nurturance.

Thankfully ongoing recovery work helped remedy this resentment. It taught me to practice self-care in a spirit of giving to a child who needed and really deserved to be helped.



A follower answers “Why is it so hard to take action”

Pixabay: johnhain



I am reflecting. For me I think part of it is being beat down to low or no self esteem. You get so convinced you cannot do anything right that you just quit trying. Why try one more thing so you can fail again? Just hide in the hole that has been dug for you to live in instead of taking the chance of crawling out by the fingernails one more time.




Thank you for your input. PTSD is epidemic, how to heal is complex and not easily found or understood.

Without proper tools and direction, PTSD can be a formidable opponent. I tried to think my way out and ended up agoraphobic.

Can you tolerate trying one more time with some key wisdom and mindfulness skills?

PTSD will get worse as we heal. Healing was violent internally, highly emotional and anxious as my abuse integrated and let go.

Meditation is a roto rooter, it will dig up unworthiness, anxiety and trauma.

Meditation plots a course directly at the center of our trauma. We are on a collision course, the path less travelled.

I guess my blog and mindfulness group is about hope.

Giving hope to those who think getting better is impossible.

I failed over and over, tried one therapy after another, holistic healers, acupuncture, massage and out of the box cures. Nothing helped, I got worse.

My fathers abuse built a strong sense of determination, I was lucky.

We all have inner strengths and boundless worth inside us.

I would encourage everyone to start meditating, applying mindfulness daily.

Healing is incremental, a little each day.




A world class Meditator faces capture and torture



Matthew Ricard from the book “Happiness”

After the Chinese invasion of Tibet in 1959, Tenzin Choedrak, the personal physician of the Dalai Lama, was first sent to a forced labor camp in northeastern Tibet along with some one hundred others.

Five prisoners, himself among them, survived.

He was transferred from camp to camp for nearly twenty years and often thought that he would die of hunger or of the abuse inflicted on him.

A psychiatrist who specializes in post-traumatic stress and who treated Doctor Choedrak was astonished that he showed not the least sign of post-traumatic stress syndrome.

He was not bitter, felt no resentment, displayed serene kindness, and had none of the usual psychological problems, such as anxiety, nightmares, and so on.

Choedrak acknowledged that he occasionally felt hatred for his torturers, but that he always returned to the practice of meditation on inner peace and compassion.

That was what sustained his desire to go on living and ultimately saved him.




My two cents: This meditator did not get PTSD, did not become hyper vigilant, or contemplate suicide.

We do not know what thoughts (demons) any man faces but these world class meditators live life fully.

Suicide is extremely rare or non existent for these world class meditators.

In my mind, a focused meditator will not commit suicide unless there is a severe disorder or a traumatic brain injury.

“He occasionally felt hatred for his torturers, but that he always returned to the practice of meditation on inner peace and compassion.”

We let those hateful, harmful, suicide thoughts pass on through.



Suicide prevention month finds two prominent depression and suicide prevention leaders committing suicide!



Jarrid Wilson, a Southern California megachurch pastor and mental health advocate, died by suicide Monday.

“Wilson, 30, was associate pastor at Harvest Christian Fellowship in Riverside, under Pastor Greg Laurie. He co-founded Anthem of Hope, a mental health nonprofit helping people dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts. He is survived by his wife, Julianne, and two sons, Finch and Denham.”






“The executive director of counseling and psychological services at the University of Pennsylvania died by suicide Monday morning in Philadelphia, officials said.

Gregory Eells became the head of the department at UPENN in March.”




My two cents: WOW! I am perplexed on many levels, extreme sadness is one emotion.

How does religion handle a suicide like this? Usually your condemned, a mortal sin in the Catholic Church. This pastor lived an exemplary life of giving and service.

On a personal level, they had a role similar to mine. The pastor mentored others with depression and mental illness, like this blog and my mindfulness group.

This is conflicting for me, I have compassion for their struggles but my father would win if I committed suicide.

All those that follow me or have been helped by me would be impacted negatively.

If you are the leader and committ suicide, have you considered those your leaving behind?

In the confusing throws of negative thought and unhealthy emotions reality slips away.

One thought dominates after a while, we never know what another is experiencing or thinking.

I have been touched by suicide in my mindfulness group. It is devastating for the survivors.

I wonder if one of the Dalai Lamas has ever committed suicide?

Next post will be on Dalai Lamas physician who was captured by the Chinese and tortured. An Amazing story.

Please share your thoughts.



Taking action: the PTSD road that is less travelled

Pixabay: Tama66



What has to happen for you to take action.

Why is change so Hard?

Why will we suffer in our current situation then refuse to change, take action?

I have no answer or justification for mans refusal to try to be happy or maybe just find peace of mind.

I have asked therapists, trainers, observed people on PTSD discussion boards and concluded around 5% try after a month.

Why is change so hard?

I do not believe there is a simple answer.

Takes courage, willpower, daily consistency, the correct skills and some intangibles.

Every situation is different but look how few people heal.

PTSD is epidemic, 20 vets have committed suicide daily for last three years, and the civilian population is in crisis.

Complex PTSD takes even longer to heal and the available couches are limited.

With our current system, what percentage of sufferers actually have access to therapy?

In my mindfulness group and on blogs you can see the need, see how many are suffering.

Why do we avoid trying to get better then live a damaged life?

Any insight or suggestions.



the Thinker has patterns

Pixabay: makeitclear



The Buddhists call it non-dualism, the “Ego” is created, like a ventriloquists dummy.

In today’s vernacular our Facebook page carries only the things we want others to see. It is the persona we present as I, me, mine.

That persona wants to keep up appearances to the outside world.

Our feelings and emotions become connected with performance and behavior that gets approval.

We can get lost chasing this lochness monster.

Can you tolerate looking below the surface, observing how the “Ego” feels and makes decisions.

Ever wonder why all that effort never brings the satisfaction you desire?

Can you tolerate not being important?

Can you tolerate not controlling, or being right or most powerful?

Can you just be in the present moment without a construct (”Ego”).

Do we need to compete with other “Egos” or can we exist in harmony, sharing this journey.

What are your patterns?

What will you do for approval?

Does that satisfaction last or quench your desire?



Trust is tough for abused kids



When a friend betrays me, it feels like a heavy burden.

Seems like I am wounded from the inside.

Trust constricts, life narrows.

Danger appears, I feel it around me!

It takes me time to unwind this old narrative when you live with complex PTSD.

Some of us were abandoned throughout childhood, my attachment physically was a paddle from my father.

That old record can still punch its number on my home juke box, playing “Someone done me wrong Song” again.

I have to clear this mess, let the old narrative go.

It takes a few days, it is not instantaneous.

I thought when I healed life would be simpler, easier, care free like others.

That is another judgment, expectation I have released.

Each of our lives start at a different place and progress at different speeds.

Comparing to others has never benefited me, in fact, it has damaged me.

No moral in this story, lots of roadblocks and distractions on our roadway.

If I do not judge, this breath is perfect, I think!



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