Posts Tagged ‘Ego’

My “Ego” is UPSET WITH YOU !!!!!!!

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This is part of the journey, exploring our inner world. We sit quietly, focusing on the breath, letting thoughts fade.

 

 

The “Ego” fades as our cognitive hemisphere (left side) quiets, then we enter our creative (egoless) right hemisphere.

 

 

We can observe our “Ego” from a distance, see it’s desire for approval, feel its anxiety dealing with criticism from another “Ego”.

 

 


After a while we can separate our “Ego” while we are cognitively engaged. We observe the one who thinks and judges.

 


The other day someone criticized a comment I made online about trauma. How dare them, this voice shouted from inside.

 

 

My “Ego” was insulted, angry, pissed as hell, fuming.

 

 


I took a few breaths and let go.

 


Observing from a distance, I discovered my “Ego” felt wounded and wanted revenge.

 

 

A choice had arrived. Do I follow my “Ego” and attack or do I go below the “Ego” and observe.

 

 


I smiled then laughed out loud, my “Ego” was more an appendage, like an arm or leg, not a vital organ.

 

 

Who cares if my “Ego” is pissed, not me.

 

 


I was not angry but amused, clear-headed and relaxed.

 

 


I had become familiar with my “Ego’s” patterns, desires and needs.

 

 

This male “Ego” was highly competitive, prone to action when criticized. He acted like an adolescent boy when perturbed.

 

 

Know your “Ego’s” desires, ambitions, weaknesses, and manipulative ways
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Happiness and our “Ego” are strangers!

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Let’s discuss happiness. It is much larger than an emotion. Emotions are ephemeral and fleeting, changing from one to another constantly. Happiness can last for days, weeks or more.

 

 

Happiness can be found in the midst of stress or pain. Happiness is an internal way of living.

Our “Ego” holds a much different reality.

 

 

This Ego we create thinks happiness is connected with him/her being inflated and in control. Our “Ego” seeks pleasure, approval and control.

 

 

The “Ego” judges each “Ego” it encounters as superior or inferior. Unfortunately it never feels equal to another “Ego”.

 

 

How can we find happiness with such a divisive creation?
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Who is the Thinker?

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Our “Ego” identifies with the Thinker, the one who thinks. I discovered while meditating, my Thinker would recede as an ever present Observer emerged.

 

This was a strange place at first, then after exploring, I found life had an expansive, brilliant side. Time dissolved, worries vanished, an inner peaceful feeling enveloped me.

 

This Observer had connections to worthiness, to opportunity, and to happiness. I felt more creative, free and worthy.

 

This worthy feeling was unfamiliar. What had I touched in my inner world?

 

 

My true self, just like your true self, perfect with an imperfect shell (body).

 


This Observer needs no approval, does not know of the existence of the past or future. He/She observes the world with wonderment and enthusiasm.

 

 

He/She has enormous gratitude for life and invests in giving without regard for reward.

 

 

He/She, as Observer, can find happiness in stressful times.

 

 

The Thinker suffers in stressful times. Thinking leads us into the past and future.

 

 

Happiness only exists in one time zone, this present moment.

 

 


You cannot be happy in the past or future. Why go there?
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Our Blind Force: “DESIRE”

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“Everyone would agree that desire is natural and plays an essential role in helping us to realize our aspirations.

 

But desire is only a blind force that in itself is neither helpful nor harmful.”

Matthew Ricard
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My two cents: We have erroneously judged many things to contain happiness, that only offer momentary pleasure or avoidance of blame.

 

We think praise from others contains happiness! We think criticism damages our soul.

 

 

Neither has anything to do with happiness. External stimuli does not decide our wellbeing.

 


Nothing external can reach our spirit, our soul.

 

 

Victor Frankl came out of Auschwitz and wrote “Man’s Search for Meaning.”

 


The human spirit, our soul can find meaning in the worst of conditions.

 


The human spirit can also find suffering in the best of conditions.

 

 

It is our choice to find purpose and meaning out of the only life we have.
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Visualize your “Ego” as a ventriloquist Dummy

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Think of how our mind is constructed. One of the most complex organs ever found, capable of tremendous achievement or extreme suffering.

 

One of the parts we invent has no origin or real existence. Yes, it is the “Ego”. Search every part of your mind and an ego can not be found.

 

Yes, we invent this “Ego” for identity, I, me, mine! Identity is its purpose. Nothing more.

 

Think of your “Ego” as a ventriloquist dummy. We give that damn puppet power and life, not command of our being.

 

That dummy runs a good part of our life unfortunately.

 

The Dummy is the one who feels resentment, judges constantly, and feels unworthy. The “Ego” is never equal to another “Ego”. He/She judges itself superior or inferior to all “Ego’s” it encounters.

 

Here in lies the rub, we never feel complete when the “Ego” is in control.

 

That means happiness is impossible.

 

One day I was having a conversation with a friend and he said something upsetting. My response to him was, my “Ego” is pissed at you.

 

Finally I had isolated my “Ego’s” needs and emotion in a real encounter. I could see “I” disagreed with my “Ego”. I had a choice for the first time.

 

Just because my “Ego” was pissed meant nothing unless I agreed.

 

Our “Ego” covets total control. This leads to suffering and loss.

 

Is your dummy controlling your life?

 

The “Ego” is dormant during meditation, also the time when our happy emotions, contained in the left prefrontal cortex light up.
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Why is change so difficult???????????

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Where does all the resistance come from? Why do we isolate, avoid unpleasant situations and people. Why do we chase and covet pleasant situations, people who approve of us, accomplishment, power, status and security?

 

Seems a decent strategy to avoid pain and soak up accomplishment in the short-term. Counterintuitive, knowing this strategy leads to suffering.

 

We have practiced habits, patterns of behavior, some subconscious in origin. We have created an “Ego” to mirror our habitual patterns. Our identity is wrapped around this “Ego”. Be it a banker, athlete, monk, priest, accountant, home maker, actor, philanthropist, etc.

 

 

Inside this cocoon, we judge ourself, find a place where we believe we fit, belong. When we enter a room, our “Ego” scans the occupants and decides if we are superior or inferior, then ranks our status.

 

 

Yes, this is superficial and kind of crazy. First, the “Ego” is a mirage, we are not what we think or judge. Second those occupations are what we do, not who we are.

 

 

Our mind is the issue, also the solution.

 

 

Fear of the unknown and this “Ego” are the main culprits keeping us from changing. We would rather suffer a known situation than risk changing, even when there is a possibility of success.

 

 

The “Ego” covets complete control. Healing means the “Ego” loses more and more control. In reality the “Ego” does not know what is good or bad for us. The “Ego” only, desires complete control.

 

 

Remember he/she generates 60,000 thoughts daily to influence where we place our attention.

 

 

You will definitely encounter your own “Ego” if you take this healing journey. He/She is not evil, he/she is only a follower not our captain.

 

 

Training the mind to empty and focus takes power from the “Ego”.
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we believe that thinking will resolve things, but the mind doesn’t know when to quit.”

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“The Need to Please”:

“The mind is always evaluating, analyzing, and worrying. For example, we constantly analyze what others think about us and expect from us, what we should do in response, and what will happen if we don’t comply.

In addition, our thinking involves nearly constant appraisal of our experience and how we’re doing.

We evaluate unpleasant and painful experiences so that we can avoid them, and we try to plan how we can maximize pleasant experiences.

For the most part, we believe that thinking will resolve things, but the mind doesn’t know when to quit.”
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My two cents: Think of these doors as thoughts, judgments with strong emotion.

 


We can spend all day inspecting, evaluating or judging what lies behind each door.

 


This is destructive, wastes our life force and leads to suffering.

 

 

Our goal is to leave these doors alone, trade them in for this present moment.

 

 

Tragedy and loss await you behind every door.

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