Posts Tagged ‘Ego’

Emotions are not only human



From “Emotional Awareness” by Paul Ekman and Dailia Lama

Ekman: “It seems, however, that the emotion system is not fear specific, in that we can become angry in an instant, without thought or consideration, just as we can become afraid in an instant.

So that is my third defining characteristic of an emotion: the initial lack of consciousness when experiencing it.

Another characteristic is that if it is an emotion, it is not unique to humans.

Other animals have emotions.

If it is something that is unique to humans, it is probably not an emotion.

The only emotion that I thought was unique to humans was contempt,

but it turns out that if you have a juvenile chimpanzee make a threat toward an alpha male,

the alpha male shows the contempt expression.”

Still another characteristic of emotions is that an emotion can be as short as a few seconds.

Sometimes it lasts minutes or even an hour, but an emotion never lasts a whole day. If it does, it is actually a mood.

Emotions come and go. People differ in terms of how fast they recover from an emotional episode.


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Purpose needs a plan



When I get lost, caught up in my “Egos” personal upset at someone’s behavior, I have a plan.

When a trigger fired in the past, I had a plan?

Are you prepared when things turn bad?

My plan was based on my purpose.

As Matthew Ricard has opined, our purpose on this planet is to live a happy life (wellbeing).

That means establishing a long gratitude list. It takes time (action) to sit down and create a gratitude list. One bloggers has over 200 things she is grateful for. Special attention is given to the small, maybe minute things that we overlook.

Next my capacity to give is expanded, my awareness of those having less grows exponentially. When I am down, making an effort to give to another shifts my focus from my “Ego” to mindful concerns.

I realize happiness in not an isolated experience. I can not be happy owning a gold toilet as the masses starve outside my plush mansion.

Realize inside our plan, we are all on this journey together, not in competition, not in scarcity.

My plan always had actions, physical and mental actions to return to now, this moment. Doing nothing enhances suffering.

Running, avoiding our fight or flight mechanism is not a plan.

Our plan always involves letting go of the narrative. Followed by observation of our body sensations.

My plan always prioritized the wellbeing of my inner world, not the external 🌍 world.

Handle the small internal things and the external cabal will lose power.

Remember the basic building block of neuroscience, “What fires together wires together.”

Where we place our attention grows, and where we withhold attention withers and dies.

Let the noise flow on through, use the focus we have worked diligently to build to stay present.

It is the journey that is all important not the destination (goal).




Desires are endless



More desire does not quench anything.

More satisfaction did not work either.

I see the masses not content with more sex, money, power, status or approval.

Fulfilling desire can result in temporary pleasure, dedicating your life to chasing pleasure ends in addiction, suffering or both.

How much of your life is devoted to fulfilling desire, chasing approval or avoiding the uncomfortable and awkward?

Bring acute awareness to you core desires and efforts to obtain them.

Probably you will find great swaths of time and energy devoted to seeking happiness out there.

Look inward to find the solution to your wellbeing.

Seems to me desires beget more and more desires.

Look at our political arena with billionaires not satisfied with their current place of power, they always need more.

Power corrupts, absolute power, corrupts absolutely.



Approval and disapproval



“I can spot empty flattery and know exactly where I stand. In the end it’s really only my own approval or disapproval that means anything.”

Agnetha Faltskog quotes (Swedish ABBA Singer, b.1950)



My two cents: well-being (happiness) is an internal way of living, being.



“Lean too much on the approval of people, and it becomes a bed of thorns”

Tehyi Hsieh



“As much as we thirst for approval we dread condemnation.”

Hans Selye



Chasing pleasure ends in addiction and suffering.

The first banana split was divine, the end of the second a little heavy and the third made me sick.

We try to make pleasure last and suffering to end or never appear.

When that first banana split was almost gone, my desire for more appeared, as it always has for all of us.

More desire, more pleasure does not quench anything.



Making the Complex:….. Simple

Pixabay: truthseeker08



Meditating/Mindfulness still carries this mystical connotation, somehow extremely complex, needing a monk like figure in a cave for decades to reach its destination.

This paradigm fits the journey of a Zen Buddhist monk searching for enlightenment or awakening.

For us meditation can start with one breath.

Master one breath, focus on the inhale, then move to a pause, followed by a slow exhale, then complete the breath cycle with a final pause.

Meditation is nothing more than assembling a few of these focused breaths together.

This process is extremely simple, our “Egos” resistance is extremely energetic.

If we can let all the judgments go, then work on a few breaths, the practice thrives.

For me meditating involves focus on the breath, combined with intense listening and visual observation.

I try to hear my inhales and exhales along with my heartbeat.

The quieter my body becomes, the more my system calms, the greater the benefits we enjoy.

In the visual arena with my eyes closed, I focus on what appears. For me I do not get a light show or colors, but I see a a sparsely lit pattern of dark.

If you use incense, smell can be a fourth sense to engulf our focus.

Our senses are ever present and have no connection to thought, we complicate life with our added judgments.

The “Ego” looks shallow and weak resisting focus on one breath.

Healing takes doing, action makes changes, small actions start the journey.




A viewer shares his challenges with meditating

Pixabay: S. Hermann & F. Richter




“I don’t formally meditate. There, I’ve said it. Sometimes I think I’d like to but my actions speak otherwise. I listen to meditation Apps., read about it’s benefits and yet, when it comes to actually sitting for 20 minutes it doesn’t happen. The closest I get to meditation is while solo hiking or biking. “Why?” I’ve asked myself? Todays post left me with a vague awareness. I’m afraid. Afraid of the silence, the stillness. The constancy of my footsteps while hiking allows my mind to wander in safety. Doesn’t make sense.

What could be safer than sitting in silence for 20 minutes? Tell that to my body.”




My two cents: Accept that trying to change our minds of always thinking, always judging, always in the past or future is awkward and difficult.

Awareness always happens first. Now you know the resistance and it is your Ego wanting to keep control.

Solo hiking and biking can be a meditative experience.

Instead of twenty minutes of meditation, try three to ten breaths.

Start small, no pressure. No right or wrong, good or bad, let judgment be.

My meditation practice deepened when I used my breathing track model. Know the breath has four parts, inhale, pause, exhale, pause.

Slow and quiet the mind, slow the breath, listen for the sounds of your inhales and exhales.

When emotions arrive let the story go, focus on the body sensations. Observe them with an easy curiosity.

Relax and enjoy the journey.

We could FaceTime and I can walk you through it.



Is Happiness a Choice?



Surely, I am no expert however choices we make either give us an opportunity to be happy, sad, bored, or miserable in my opinion.

If I decide to entertain negative, unworthy thoughts happiness has no chance of entering my life.

If I decide to be angry, feel sorry for myself, or engage in risky behavior, happiness will never visit.

Happiness needs a healthy, balanced, worthy ego to blossom.

Happiness is a balance for me. Yes, stressors, worries and fears still exist out there, my reaction has changed.

At times I can let the noise go. Knowing this moment, mundane, uneventful, still contains everything in life, let’s me enjoy, “NOW”.

Learning to enjoy this present moment (NOW) entirely without thought or judgment, opens up a new world.

Happiness is not out there, it is inside us, our perception and behavior to stimulus decides our fate.

It is not intellectual, you live this experience, not read about it or take a class.

Words can not describe this experience.

Takes daily practice to reach a certain level of focus that opens this space.



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