Posts Tagged ‘Dissociation’

Mindfulness: A road less traveled

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In America we think happiness is connected with success, accumulating degrees, power and possessions.

Being assertive, competitive, even ruthless is acceptable in business.

We practice, learning to react to challenges, desiring to overcome them.

A Midfulness practice is different.

We practice not reacting, not judging, not grasping a negatively charged emotion.

Fear, Anger, Disgust, Sadness, Rage, Loneliness, Melancholy and Annoyance are the negative emotions.

Not easy to do, when we feel disrespected or treated unfairly.

Can we observe an individual or a situation without reacting personally?

Can we refuse to waste time, thinking about how we want to react?

Can we let anger or resentment fade without acting on its emotional impulse?

We always have the ability to react when we need to.

It would be nice if we cultivated the ability to not react when we feel different.

Having a choice gives us much more influence in our lives.

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Matthew Ricard: being present

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Observe what arises in your experience without imposing anything on it, without letting yourself be either drawn to it or put off by it.

See whatever is in front of you, a flower or any other object; listen attentively to the sounds nearby or far away; smell the fragrances and odors; feel the texture of what you are touching.

Register your various sensations, clearly perceiving their characteristics.

Be entirely present to what you are doing, whether walking, sitting, writing, doing the dishes, or drinking a cup of tea.

With mindfulness, it doesn’t matter what you are doing or whether you judge a task to be pleasant or unpleasant.

What matters is how you do it—with a mind that is clear and peaceful, attentive to what is happening, and full of wonder at the present moment, without superimposing mental constructs such as attachments or preconceptions onto reality.

When you are doing this practice, you stop endlessly swinging back and forth between attraction and aversion.

You are just attentive, lucid, and aware of each perception and sensation, of each thought that arises and passes away.

Feel the freshness of the present moment.

Do you find that it brings up a vast, luminous, and serene state of mind in you?

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Simple, Small Actions repeated daily

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Let us apply this idea of simple, small actions daily to our mental issues.

Mental disorders are complex and confusing, cortisol and adrenaline are secreted when our fight or flight mechanism fires.

Dissociation, leaving this moment to enter the past or future lost in thought, distorts time and reality.

This is a complex mechanism, we can get lost, depressed or terrified.

Therapies can also be complex and overwhelming.

My path out was simple.

Simple actions repeated over and over everyday.

It takes believing this path will work, because healing takes time and improvement is subtle and small at first.

I faced my fears using focus on my breath to stay present, observing, not judging the scary thoughts.

It took a simple action combined with a bunch of trust and courage.

It is more beneficial to take a small action than read a 100 books or take a 100 classes.

The first question becomes, What is holding me back from taking small actions?

Yesterday hiking I played this affirmation over and over as I enjoyed the scenery:

In this moment, right now, I feel my body overflowing with Kindness, Approval and Safety.

It takes me no extra effort to hit play as I hike.

Concentrate on the activity and leave results alone.

Results or answers will not arrive cognitively, it is more intuitive, organic, through the body.

Any thoughts or ideas to add?

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Chronic Pain group and Suffering

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After my triple rollover on I-5 south, after the fusions, many doctors and therapies I was left with serious chronic pain.

Along with 14 other unfortunate souls, I joined a real chronic pain group. It was depressing knowing this was my peer group.

Group was stressful at first, so many medications and fear of the unknown. You find out quickly that you share five or six different traits.

I ranked myself in the middle of the group, and damn glad I was not hurt as bad as some. Mostly spinal injuries for all 15 of us.

We all just wanted to go back to our life as it was. Hold on to that desire and suffering will be your partner.

After six months my inner guide knew it was time to change.

I threw out my pills and started to hike. My pain increased and desperately wanted me to stop.

As a jock, this was a battle I knew well. After a month of hiking everyday, my chronic pain began to compress.

I learned my thoughts and emotions could increase or decrease my pain.

I challenged another in group to follow me.

His name is Rick and this is a response from this post:

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“Everything in this article is true! I personally witnessed Marty go through this. My name is Rick and I was in the same pain management group when I met Marty and he can a test to the fact that I was close to death! A lot closer then I am today. Let me explain…

I have had 5 back surgery’s. I have a Med. Pump implanted in me which was maxed out feeding me Dilotded 24 hours a day and a spinal cord stimulator implanted in me and at the time I was taking Morphine,Percocet pulse Soma nothing helped the pain! I wanted to die! I thought my life was over.

I was only 34 when I got hurt at work and after 8 years of uncertainty and the thought of not being able to provide for my family I was at my end!

I met Marty in my pain management group and I saw someone who had a way out! I started to walk more and stop feeling sorry for myself and realized there is more to life and I cant give up! Now I’m 51 years old, Marty and I still keep in touch even though I live in TX. now. I visit with him every time I get back home. I am now doing some Acting in films and enjoying life with out all the drugs.”

Thanks Marty

Rick

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Our Ego never feels Equal to another Ego

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We know scientifically that we create a fictitious identity (Ego) to navigate life.

I call my guy, Marty.

He is a combination of how my first caregivers raised me, how others treat me, how I see myself in this world, and a few other intangibles. He can adapt and change but not easily.

Every Ego desires to be special, desires to elevate his/her status in a myriad of ways.

Our Ego feigns and bluffs with a plethora of thoughts and emotions for control of our being.

All the Ego needs to do is get us thinking about emotional thoughts and judgments.

He/She does not need to convince us, just distract us to win control.

Get lost in thought and lose control, awareness.

Our Ego never feels equal to another Ego, thus creating this need to compete or hide.

Our Ego is out front and in control when we feel wronged, mistreated, disrespected, ridiculed or feel sorry for ourselves.

The other side, too much Ego, has facets of narcissism. This Ego desires adulation over all else.

This insecure Ego uses other Egos for their pleasure.

Next time you walk into a class, a meeting or a group, bring awareness to where your Ego thinks you fit in.

Can you feel your Ego ranking you in the group. One thru ten, where are you? Is your judgment correct?

If your ranked one, two or three, does this impact your Ego?

Would it make a difference if you were an expert in the group or a novice?

It sure would for me.

Can you be calm when your Ego feels like a novice, a little vulnerable?

How you respond will give you insight about your Egos strengths and weaknesses.

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Worry thoughts arrive everyday,!!!! Be prepared, have a plan

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I have noticed an internal competition, a battle for control of my mind.

Worry, doubt, anxiety and fear thoughts arrive daily.

There origination is unknown, there quantity, 60,000 on average everyday.

Be prepared for the onslaught.

In the beginning, I would touch each finger to my thumb, saying release, release, release, release. Repeat if necessary.

After a while I progressed and focused on an object, a tree, a painting, or maybe a wall. My senses took over for a minute.

Smelling, listening, seeing and feeling intently filled my world.

Currently I will use these two, plus a short affirmation.

In this moment, right now, I feel my body overflowing with kindness, approval and security.

This is recorded so I can just hit play and listen as I focus on my visual experience.

Thoughts come everyday, have a plan.

Does not take any more time to grasp thought and get lost or substitute one of our tools.

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Internal Family System by Dr. Richard Schwartz Ph.D. : part one

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The IFS Model, which evolved as a result of this exploration, views a person as containing an ecology of relatively discrete minds, each of which has valuable qualities and each of which is designed to — and wants to — play a valuable role within.

These parts are forced out of their valuable roles, however, by life experiences that can reorganize the system in unhealthy ways.

A good analogy is an alcoholic family in which the children are forced into protective and stereotypic roles by the extreme dynamics of their family.

While one finds similar sibling roles across alcoholic families (e.g., the scapegoat, mascot, lost child), one does not conclude that those roles represent the essence of those children.

Instead, each child is unique and, once released from his or her role by intervention, can find interests and talents separate from the demands of the chaotic family.

The same process seems to hold true for internal families — parts are forced into extreme roles by external circumstances and, once it seems safe, they gladly transform into valuable family members.

What circumstances force these parts into extreme and sometimes destructive roles?

Trauma is one factor, and the effects of childhood sexual abuse on internal families has been discussed at length (Goulding and Schwartz, 1995).

But more often, it is a person’s family of origin values and interaction patterns that create internal polarizations which escalate over time and are played out in other relationships.

This, also, is not a novel observation; indeed, it is a central tenet of object relations and self psychology.

What is novel to IFS is the attempt to understand all levels of human organization — intrapsychic, family, and culture — with the same systemic principles, and to intervene at each level with the same ecological techniques.

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