Posts Tagged ‘Desire’

Unintended Consequences

Pixabay: Ben_Kerckx

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My healing path was anchored by hours spent each day devoted to meditating. A byproduct of this action, besides healing, was the opening of my compassion center.

This unintended consequence has brought anguish. Suffering a childhood like mine, then to be disowned by my family currently, felt lonely. I mean all you hear from people is family means everything.

I felt somewhat damaged, a little sorry for myself.

Yesterday, outside the grocery, I encountered a homeless man.

I could tell he was a loner, immediately. Somehow, I felt his isolation, his suffering, his fear.

It was cold and he had no family, no one who cares in the world, I almost cried. Now, this was real loneliness. As far as I could see, he had one tooth when I approached.

His gratitude for my small offering touched my soul.

In our society, we have so many homeless now, we look on them as subhuman.

Meditation has curbed my appetite for needing things. Giving and gratitude smother the desire for possessions, power or status.

I have dreams of having Bezos type money and power, then using it to eliminate suffering.

Without forethought, meditation has changed my life is so many unintended ways.

Carry a sandwich, an apple or a small treat to give to those in need.

This act of giving leads to an increase in gratitude and a better chance at being happy.

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Giving: be inspired by others who give

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Giving is contagious, spread as much as you can everyday.

A smile is a great gift, a kind word even more powerful.

Costs nothing to use kindness in large quantities.

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It is not the separate self that seeks peace and happiness.

Pixabay: Bessi

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It is not the separate self that seeks peace and happiness.

The separate self is an object–a thought or a feeling–and an object cannot do anything, let alone seek happiness.

Rather, the search for peace and happiness is itself the experience of peace and happiness, modulated through the sense of separation.

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My two cents: Our Separate Self (Ego), a thought or feeling, is a mirage.

Our treasure map of thought leads only to frustration and suffering.

Experience your senses, observe them not narrate or judge them!

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My “Ego” is Stealthy, Adolescent and Manipulative!

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Awareness brings my manipulative “Ego” into focus. I believe some of this is hard-wired from my abusive, critical, and violent childhood. My “Ego” has never felt equal to another “Ego” (yours either).

 

The need for approval, for being appreciated, runs deep in my unworthy inner child. That critic, that resentful little voice, tears at my wellbeing.

 

Take this blog,:  I have to admit, I want relevance, approval for my knowledge, my blog.   Yes, having a 100,000 avid followers would stroke my “ego” and brings a feeling of relevance.   I see this as shallow and impermanent but it has power at times.

 

 

Does having more followers equal happiness?   Ask yourself if 90,000 left one day, how would that feel?  The crowd is very fickle and can turn against you.

 

This attachment makes me vulnerable to external forces, a path to suffering and anxiety.

 

Following this unworthy dialogue backwards, it is a perceived need that leads me to suffer. My “Ego” has felt unworthy, not good enough, almost shameful when PTSD is active. My “Ego” feels threatened as an adolescent at times.


When I meditate and examine this dilemma, approval or criticism is external. Also criticism or approval can change outside my influence. My life suffers when I buy into this belief. It is a mirage!


I am aware when my “Ego” feels insulted or damaged. He wants to retaliate against a perceived threat. He thinks retaliation can change my unworthiness.

 

It is such a subconscious, complex mechanism from childhood abuse. Life activates this difficulty from time to time.


I thought healing, emptying my amygdala of all the stored trauma would last forever. Now I know somethings will always be below the surface, capable of bringing that hell back into my life.

 

Knowing approval, respect or criticism has nothing to do with my wellbeing does not quell its massive need to protect itself.


I have learned to be intensely aware of my “Egos” need to be resentful, childish, reactive and destructive.

 

For some of us, a constant vigil of awareness is needed.
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Living Backwards

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“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards;

 


they try to have more things, or more money,

 


in order to do more of what they want,

 


so they will be happier.

 


The way it actually works is the reverse.

 


You must first be who you really are,

 


then do what you need to do,

 

 

in order to have what you want.”


~Margaret Young
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My two cents: Happiness is an internal way of being, living, not an accumulation of external possessions.

 

 

The journey discovers our inner world, our true nature.

 

 

 

All we need is inside us.
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Matthew Ricard: Pleasure is exhausted by usage, like a candle consuming itself.”

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My two cents: Desire a noun: longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment: ie pleasure.

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Fulfilling our desires does not quench the desire, in fact desire can be bottomless, never ending.

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Desires are limitless. What politician has enough power, approval or money. What “Ego” is satisfied in their position in life?

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Follow any desire that arises, then gets fulfilled and see that satisfaction does nothing to extinguish our desires.

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After our basic needs are met, desire can be the detour that eliminates our chance at happiness.

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Happiness exists in the act of gratitude and giving, not coveting our neighbors condition.

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How strong are your desires?

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Does jealousy or resentment live inside your current condition?

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Let go of that need to possess things.

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Needing others approval is a really big thing for most of us.
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Our Blind Force: “DESIRE”

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“Everyone would agree that desire is natural and plays an essential role in helping us to realize our aspirations.

 

But desire is only a blind force that in itself is neither helpful nor harmful.”

Matthew Ricard
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My two cents: We have erroneously judged many things to contain happiness, that only offer momentary pleasure or avoidance of blame.

 

We think praise from others contains happiness! We think criticism damages our soul.

 

 

Neither has anything to do with happiness. External stimuli does not decide our wellbeing.

 


Nothing external can reach our spirit, our soul.

 

 

Victor Frankl came out of Auschwitz and wrote “Man’s Search for Meaning.”

 


The human spirit, our soul can find meaning in the worst of conditions.

 


The human spirit can also find suffering in the best of conditions.

 

 

It is our choice to find purpose and meaning out of the only life we have.
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