Posts Tagged ‘criticism’

The other side of Criticism

Pixabay: geralt

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Are you a critical person?

Do you criticize your spouse?

Do you criticize your kids.

Do you realize the impact on them?

Do you realize the impact on you?

Do you know there is another choice?

Kindness.

I believe we have a responsibility to be kind, gracious, and helpful to others.

What is the inner critic saying, feeling when you criticize?

Why do you need to criticize?

Does your “Ego” need to feel superior at all costs?

Impossible to be happy with a heart who needs to be mean to others.

The “Ego” brings forth many destructive thoughts to our doorstep.

Are you aware of the destructive (negative) thoughts the “Ego” generates.

Free yourself from thought, give up criticizing.

Criticizing others damages us.

Gratitude, giving and kindness are alternative ways to live and be happy.

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Criticism been very very bad for me

Pixabay: pixel2013

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I bristle at criticism, always have. Something deep inside, something from childhood, awakens when I am criticized.

Past scenarios where someone has criticized me, are stored with more emotion and unrest.

It has taken considerable work to soften those memories.

I understand the origins of my childhood abuse and it’s impact on my self image and personality.

Fortunately, it was not a life sentence.

I am much happier now, have a greater feeling of freedom and peace of mind.

Life is not easy at times, but who said it was supposed to be.

Learning to accept the times that are anxious, sad and awkward, instead of trying to escape them has been a process.

At times criticism dies a quick death, other times we wrestle for a while.

Sitting quietly, focusing intently on the breath, I observe my emotions, anxiety and fear without judgment.

No effort to escape or avoid was taken.

Running, avoiding, powers our fears, gives them that unknown quality, a confusing terror.

Make friends with your nervous system and inner critic. Observe.

How do you handle criticism?

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From the book Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists by Kathy Steele and Onno van der Hart

painting by Scott Musgrove

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“People with complex dissociative disorder were often confronted as children with situations that evoke extreme and overwhelming emotions. Generally younger children learn from their caregivers how to understand and regulate emotions.  People with dissociative disorder often grew up in families in which it was not acceptable to show or discuss certain emotions.

In some cases it was actually dangerous to express feelings, resulting in punishment, ridicule or complete disregard.  Parents or caregivers of people with complex dissociative disorder typically had a problem with emotions themselves and were thus unable to teach children adaptive and healthy skills to deal with emotions.  These children learn to avoid or disregard their own feelings.  They also have difficulty reflecting, that is, accurate reading other people’s emotions and intentions in the present, generally assuming something negative rather than positive.”

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