Posts Tagged ‘C-PTSD’

Healing and Happiness are an internal journey,



Healing and Happiness are an internal journey, an exploration of our inner world.

Thoughts, judgments and emotions are let go, as we feel all of our body sensations.

Somatic wisdom helps us integrate our trauma, if we have the courage to face it.

Thoughts are endless, so is the suffering that accompanies them

Directed thought is fine, negative thought, unworthy ideas, and self hate are not.

Find peace inside yourself and the world will be much easier to navigate.

It is simple: Never entertain a negative thought or idea, ever!

This simple, immediate, concrete and repetive action changes Our perspective.

Stop reading, talking, thinking, and debating, action is needed at some point.

Why not NOW!!!!!!!!!

If you really want to heal, you will take daily action.

This is a harsh reality that keeps over 90% of PTSD sufferers from healing.



No Resistance means We Surrender to our trauma!!!!



Healing was incremental for me, each plateau reached through concerted action over months. Nothing came easy or quick.

Complex PTSD from a childhood does not heal miraculously, quickly or easily. The mind was not fully developed when trauma entered its world. Hard to tell what is normal and what is the aftermath of abuse.

Aerobic exercise, therapy, reading, meditating, practicing acceptance, applying mindfulness and persistence each brought benefits for me. Sometimes all hope seemed lost but something inside refused to give up.

This trait is very important. Lots of setbacks, even perceived losses on this journey. That inner guide can be our savior in our low moments.

Meditating and mindfulness carved out a small secure space for me to survive. This space grew incrementally as I healed.

It was like climbing a ladder, each successive rung revealed more of the horizon, more of the path.

Acceptance was difficult, releasing the shame and guilt reached a sticking point. My fear, worry and confusion kept me paralyzed for months.

I still had resistance, actually I was terrified, my fight or flight mechanism dumped cortisol and adrenaline preparing for a perceived lethal threat. The drugs are real, the anxiety almost unbearable, but the storyline is the mirage.

Being vulnerable, that is surrendering completely in the face of my trauma, broke the traffic jam. It was scary not to resist, to be so vulnerable, so defenseless.

With arms outstretched, totally open, I pictured my heart as a butterfly net.

I caught my trauma thoughts gently, exploring with a curious mindset.

I had found the next step, being vulnerable, surrendering to my fears.

This exposed my fears so I could observe them without the “Egos” bias.

Surrendering stops the what if’s, why me, etc.

Our trauma melts when we surrender in the face of their perceived imminent danger.

This is accepted brain science now, how we integrate trauma stored in our right amygdala.

If I was wrong we would not survive a fight or flight explosion.

I survived ten a day for a couple years. It was not a fun life but it did not kill me, so PTSD is a bluff.



Guest Post: Find your own way to heal, but be activel




First of all I want to thank Marty for giving me this place in his blog. I have recently started my own blog where I write about my own peculiar way to fight back my PTSD and my thoughts about nothing and everything. Blogging is one of my therapeutic tools.

I’m not going to explain my past before I started healing, only that for decades I suffered from chronic pains and chronic depression. My life until a year ago was filled with opiates and other painkillers. I wasn’t even treated for my depression. It was back in 2017 when I was sent to rehab for my pains that my healing started. But it wasn’t until the end of 2018, when all my traumas  were unleashed, that I really took control of my healing.

We all have our own baggage and we all have our own way to deal with it. I haven’t suffered more or less than other people, suffering ain’t a contest. Neither is happiness. We are all different unique individuals with completely different experiences, some of which are traumatic. What some people experience as traumatic may not be traumatic for others, but that doesn’t mean that those experiences weren’t traumatic. I honestly don’t think that we should be measuring and comparing ourselves. But I do know that we who have experienced traumas can be physically ill. These physical manifestations may differ from person to person. So does the way towards healing, it ain’t the same for everyone.

This last year I’ve learned a lot about myself and how to heal myself. I’m still in my healing process, and I believe that I will always be for the rest of my life. That is not a negative thing, on the contrary. That is actually an important part of my way out of denial, which is imprescindible for both healing and self development. 

I’m lucky to have good therapists that respect my own way of healing. They respect that because they see my improvements. They all say that I ain’t a usual patient. I take that as a compliment, but I honestly don’t think that there are usual patients. There are indeed lot’s of different tools and medications we can use to improve our health, but I strongly believe that we need to be active in the process. I don’t know nothing about others’ struggles, I only know about mine. I don’t know what’s the best therapy for other people, but I know what works for me. I know that my way of facing my struggles works because of the results. And by the feedback I get from other people both near me and in my group therapies, it looks like it works for other people as well. But let me be clear about it, I have no idea about what’s best other people.

So what is that that works so well for me? And what are the results that confirm that this actually works for me?

First let me tell you that from taking painkillers and being physically disabled to do things I wanted to do, so went I to being able to go kayaking, hiking, cycling and being able to live alone in the polar circle forests by myself for a whole week. It took me six months to start doing that. I haven’t taken painkillers for a year now. I don’t even think about the possibility of needing painkillers during my forest adventures.

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Freedom from Addiction



“Are you constantly looking for the next fix, the next high?

Are you always looking for something else, something more?

Does life feel as though it’s missing something?

Does it feel like you can’t find the complete satisfaction you’re seeking, no matter how much you look for it?

…No matter how many drugs you take or drinks you drink?

…No matter how much stuff you buy?

…No matter how much you work?

…No matter how many experiences you have?

…No matter how much love or sex you get?

…No matter how much you gamble or eat?

If you answered yes to any of these, you may be suffering from addiction.

Addiction is the gaping hole in our lives that can never be filled.

Whether it’s a full-blown heroin addiction or an inability to stop scarfing down cookies, addiction has a way of controlling our lives.

It sets us on a course of constant, uncontrollable seeking toward the next moment.”



On my bad days, I worked harder.



On my journey, there were low times, times when all seemed lost, helplessness tried to rule my being.

We meditate, train and practice for these moments.

Anyone can handle the good times, these are the critical moments in our life.

Our reaction to hitting bottom, determines if we stay there or have the ability to take action.

For me it took courage, my inner guide intuitively shared the need to take action at all costs.

Taking action was second nature, my father demanded I be twice as good as everyone else. So from an early age, overtraining, overachieving was by far, the strongest, easiest part of my life.

Accepting all of me right now, having courage, not trying to overachieve and being vulnerable is where I struggled.

Assess your strengths, apply them on your journey.

When things get tough, increase your effort, fill that negative void with activity and courage.

What we perceive and how we act, determines who we are and how we live, not the external world.

We all have have strengths and weaknesses, flaws.

Our “Ego” is the one who craves perfection, being right, having control.

We have to give up control to heal, being vulnerable is our strength.

Another counterintuitive truth.

On a bad day, let go, dig deep, take action, exhaust yourself, then rest, smile.

It’s all we can do, give all out effort with a good attitude. 😎



Merry Christmas




I wish all those who suffer from PTSD, depression, anxiety, or any other mental disorder, would find the gift of taking action this coming year.

Not Taking action, in my opinion, is the number one reason why people do not improve.

Without action we regress.

I also wish my words could inspire more to take action.

No one else can walk our path or heal us, it is an internal journey.

Merry Christmas to all.



Christmas brings anxious feelings, memories

Pixabay: wixin_56k



Each year around this time on my blog and in my mindfulness group, some are conflicted.

Holidays bring memories of our family abuse. It is confusing, some decide to go

functions with their abusers present.

An uncle, brother, father or domineering mother could be our abuser.

Some families exert pressure on us to participate at Christmas dinner even though our abuser will be present.

Please, feel no obligation or guilt for their dysfunction.

In my family, looking perfect to the outside world is the holy grail.

For me, I am disowned now.

Yes, I had the audacity to ask them for help.

Denial and excommunication is what I received.

If we need these people we will suffer.

For me, I never needed them.

Holidays still have this eerie, haunting feeling for me.

Now it is much easy to let it all go, then direct my attention to gratitude and giving.



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