Posts Tagged ‘C-PTSD’

Can you take a step back, can you observe the thinker, the “Angry” you!!!!!

Can you focus when you become angry?


Can you take a step back and observe the one who is angry?


You will observe our creation, our “Ego”, feeling unworthy or mistreated.


Who craves approval?   Same answer “Ego”.


The one who needs to think is different from the one who observes.

When I focus intently, letting thought go, an impartial observer, a faithful guide appears for me.


This observer does not judge or use any words.


He/She uses intuition and gut feelings.


He/She does not judge or think, but exists in focused awareness of our environment.



Some call this our soul, or spirit, or intuitive guide, or expansive right hemisphere.



Introduce yourself, this observer is our only conduit to happiness!


That thinker will not lead you to happiness.

PTSD is not an all-powerful disorder, something to fear and avoid.

PTSD is finite and has weaknesses. Glaring weaknesses that I found while sitting quietly observing trauma with intense focus.


PTSD has a fatal flaw, it can not play defense!


When PTSD is at its apex of power, our fight or flight mechanism firing violently, cortisol and adrenaline dumped into our bloodstream, it is also at its weakest!


I explored my trauma while meditating and found no damage after a trigger exploded. When my nervous system slowly calmed down, I was fine. Yes the chemicals were real, the feeling of real fear was intense but their was no damage to my being.



This built my confidence each time, finally having the courage to stay present with the body sensations, intently focused on my breath.


PTSD was a past tense bluff, a mirage of real danger. My father, my abuser was long deceased, so he was not going to appear and damage me.


Take away the chemicals being dumped along with all the physical changes preparing us for a lethal threat and all that exists are our stored thoughts and fears, nothing real.



We fear our own defense mechanism firing along with our trauma memory.


We need to react, avoid or dissociate when our fight or flight mechanism fires or it loses power.


Trust me, I have lived this and repeatedly stayed present as my C-PTSD erupted violently. Each time we stay present PTSD loses power.


Examine your triggers, follow them back to the source, memories of past terror, thoughts are all that exists, nothing more.


Takes practice while things are calm to be able to stay present when PTSD fires violently.


Start today with 15 minutes of mindfulness practice.

If you have PTSD, Can you be happy?

Knowing 22 vets commit suicide everyday from PTSD, happiness seems impossible.


All depends on where we place our attention. I wonder how many civilian suicides are caused by PTSD and depression. Depression will visit you often when you have PTSD.


If we dissociate, avoid and react to our hyper-vigilance we will suffer.


Terror not joy will be our companion.


My trauma was more hard-wired since it happened throughout my entire childhood, my brain (mind) had not developed.


Even with this resistant form of PTSD, I have found happiness in many things.


No life is not easy, I have times when my PTSD activates.


PTSD does not take away my happiness.  It does bring challenges and many thoughts to my doorstep.   I have learned thoughts are powerless, emotions are fleeting, transparent and ephemeral, from reading and mindfulness practice.


I know the shame that haunted me for so long is a mirage, an invention of traumas desire to control my being.  




PTSD is not an all-powerful disorder, something to fear and avoid.  It is finite and has weaknesses.



We have to move, take action, resist with incredible courage to beat PTSD. It is not easy.


So few take daily action, start an everyday practice with enthusiasm.


We need to sit alone with our trauma and face it, then let it pass on by.


A mind with inner peace does not need footprints in the snow, to venture out.



Make those fresh footsteps towards happiness today.

The Swiss Cheese Therapy

I have posted about this funny therapy before.



The Swiss Cheese therapy is a thought diet. We let all thought pass through the holes.



With 60,000 thoughts a day crossing our path we need a relief valve. Thoughts have no impact if we let them pass on through.



This frees up many hours each day.



Doubt and worry can not gain a foothold.



All of a sudden, opportunity appears right there in front of us.


Thoughts are like air without our attention, transparent with little impact.


We can trade constant thought for just being present, focused and aware.


Sounds to simple!

PTSD impacts all of us Differently!!!

PTSD impacts individuals differently. People can experience the same trauma, some will get PTSD and others will not be impacted long-term.


Some will develop PTSD immediately while others may live unaware for decades until another stressor activates that dormant trauma.


PTSD has a different effect on different people. We all suffer in the early stages of this disorder. After we figure out that we have PTSD, a search for a cure proceeds.


We suffer more when we engage in certain behaviors. We suffer less when we engage in different behaviors.

Dissociation is the lynchpin. Dissociation is leaving the present moment to enter our past or future thought patterns we habitually live.


The choice then is dissociation, grasping the storyline, judging or staying present, focusing, observing our body sensations.


Hyper-vigilance increases exponentially when we dissociate into what ifs and judgment. Avoidance becomes easier when we get lost in thought and judgment.


We journey farther and farther away from reality and down the trauma hole.


We avoid future triggers, perceived danger, narrowing our life until we end up agoraphobic.


We can learn to live and enjoy life in spite of this disorder.


We have to build certain daily skills to accomplishment this.


To stay present when a trigger explodes takes strong focus and courage from daily practice.


Work on dissociation and improve your life tremendously.


The opposite of dissociation is a mindful existence. We are ever present, observing what our eyes see, ears hear, hands touch, nose smells and mouth tastes without judgment.


Letting the noise pass on through is key.

Buddha’s Brain by Rick Hanson: Reciprocal Inhibition

“Some parts of the brain are linked by reciprocal inhibition: when one part activates, it suppresses another one.


To some extent, the left and right hemispheres have this relationship; thus, when you stimulate the right hemisphere by engaging the activities it specializes in, the verbal centers of the left hemisphere are effectively shushed.


The right, visual-spatial hemisphere has the greater responsibility for representing the state of your body, so awareness of the body can help suppress left-brain verbal chatter.



“Right hemisphere activation increases further when you sense the body as a whole, which draws upon the global, gestalt processing of that hemisphere.”
My two cents: Meditation/Mindfulness practice activates the right hemisphere, thus suppressing our cognitive engine, our verbal centers and our created “Ego”.


We practice to build focus, to reach our right hemisphere for a precious few seconds. With practice we deepen and build longer and longer durations of peace and calm.



There is no way of knowing the benefits of meditating without actual intense practice, reading a book or taking a class changes nothing.



Meditation is not an intellectual commodity, it takes action, practice, sitting alone with your demons.


When we surrender to our fears, enormous opportunity appears.


can you tolerate surrendering to what you fear?

“Acceptance” is the path less traveled. We accept all of ourselves, right now, the good, the not so good, the joyful and the unworthy thoughts.


Acceptance helped me improve and face my demons. After much work, my fear of triggers exploding persisted.


Then I found surrender, using my heart as a butterfly net to gently catch my fears and unworthiness. Open your arms and catch your fears with your heart, your catchers mitt.


All resistance has faded as our heart is exposed, open, vulnerable.

Yes, vulnerable, surrendering when every thought wants us to avoid, turn away and isolate.


This is how we explore our inner world, our demons that haunt us subconsciously.



Open your arms, expose your heart, become familiar with your demons.


It took me being vulnerable to heal.

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