Posts Tagged ‘C-PTSD’

A Healing journey has ________.

A Healing journey has setbacks, presumed loss and days of confusion.


I judged myself harshly as failing, when a setback arrived. My erroneous judgment and subsequent search for why, powered PTSD.


Trying to make sense of, trying to find the rational reason to an irrational disorder (behavior) deepened my suffering.


I ended up agoraphobic following this ill-fated cognitive endeavor.


Healing needs no understanding of the irrational trauma feelings to heal.


Relief came when I learned to not think or cognitively engage trauma.


When I learned to let go, to live in the present moment, PTSD lost power.


I learned not to waste time and energy wondering why.


Why me, why can’t I solve this disorder, why does this not make rational sense, disappeared from my consciousness.


Leave guilt and judgment alone.


Surround yourself with kindness to overpower these negative thoughts and emotions.
We can be happy with this next breath.

Happiness does not happen in the future, so quit planning and start living.

Look for happiness today. It surrounds all of us.

3 veterans die of suicide over 5 days at VA facilities in 2 states Travis Fedschun


Three U.S. military veterans took their lives within 5 days of each other at VA facilities in 2 states earlier this month, prompting a call for action by lawmakers.


The first death was reported on April 5, when the body of 29-year-old Gary Pressley was discovered inside a vehicle in the parking lot of Carl Vinson VA Medical Center in Dublin, Georgia.


Pressley had a gunshot wound in his chest and was pronounced dead at 8:45 p.m., Laurens County Coroner Richard Stanley told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.


Pressley’s family said he was medically discharged in 2012 after a bad car accident and struggling with mental health care, according to the newspaper.


His mother, Machelle Wilson, told WMAZ-TV that Pressley’s sister called the VA to tell them her brother was threatening suicide from their parking lot just moments before he killed himself


“He told his girlfriend he was going to do it in the parking lot, so they could find his body, so somebody can pay attention to what’s happening, so other vets do not have to go through this,” she told the television station.

Twenty veterans take their lives each day; national security correspondent Jennifer Griffin reports.


The following day in Decatur, Ga., 68-year-old Olen Hancock of Alpharetta killed himself outside the Atlanta VA Medical Center. Hancock had been seen pacing the lobby of the building before going outside and shooting himself, WSB-TV reported.

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Topics in my Mindfulness group





We discussed our intention or goal for our mindfulness/meditation practice.


Awareness always comes first. We try to be aware of the observer, that person who sees thinking without being part of thought.


Focus on the breath, meditating, carves out a space between stimulus and response. This space gives us a chance to not react.


We also discussed the “Ego’s” role in judging stimulus in a biased way,  reacting  differently than our core values.  


Meditating slows the speed of the mind, focuses intently on this moment,  and makes the space available to change behavior.


The “Ego” is front and center when we experience judgment and strong emotion.


I challenged the group to notice their “Ego” during the week. Yes, become aware of your “Ego’s” bias, feelings and behavior.


Example: Months ago, a friend said something that made me angry. I responded to him in this way, my “Ego” is pissed at you.


I had separated my “Ego” and abandoned my normal reaction.  I was amused and calm instead of reactionary and aggressive.


It takes actual application of mindfulness to reap the benefits.


Work on small challenges everyday to accelerate your healing and wellbeing.


Any other ideas?



What is our Responsibility?



Is our happiness separate,  isolated from those around us?


Can one be happy when surrounded by suffering?


Do we have a responsibility to give to others?


Is our happiness indirectly tied to giving?


I think we must choose our way of supporting others, then take action.


What do you think?



updated: Awareness of the Whole Self —–Linda Graham, a neuroscientist describes self! no self sort of!!!!!!


We learned in chapter 3 to develop the awareness that all emotions and sensations of the body are transient, as are all contents, processes, states, and traits of mental activity.
Awareness — the state of mind that observes all of that coming and going as coming and going — is itself not coming and going.
Our awareness of that greater awareness may come and go; most of us lose awareness of awareness in our busy daily lives.
But the awareness itself is ever present, always ready to be rediscovered any time we choose to focus our attention.
When we find the space between the stimulus and the response, we alter the rhythm of our doing; we wake up and create space for being.
Awareness is the knowing, not the contents that are known.
We can experience it as a vast sky that can hold all the clouds and storms moving through it.
We usually pay more attention to the contents of clouds and storms than to the sky that contains them.
As the Zen teaching tells us, when we are in a contracted state of mind, it’s like looking at the sky through a pipe.
With mindfulness of awareness, we become adept at putting down the pipe and looking at the whole sky again.
My two cents:  Unbelievable, Each sentence is amazing to me!

A Curious Mind




.In “Survivor Personality” one coveted trait is a curious mind.

Curious minds did not give up easily in harsh environments like prisoners of war or concentration camps.


Giving up mentally ended in death quickly. The rugby team stuck in the Andes, survived because of one curious, strong-willed mind who would not give up.


One Vietnam prisoner built a house in his head and on paper. He detailed his materials down to the last nail.

Facing constant hunger one prisoner made elaborate recipes with exquisite desserts.

A curious mind is also helpful in daily life.

At 67, my thirst for wisdom increases as my body declines.

I think it keeps me young and gracious for my every breath.


PTSD, depression or chronic pain can not dull my passion for living.

I have purpose, more than enough challenges and the focus to enjoy this present moment.

Are you missing anything?

Number of children going to ER with suicidal thoughts, attempts doubles, study finds. By Dr. Edith Bracho-Sanchez, CNN; Mon April 8, 2019

Pic by Fernando @cferdo at

The number of children and teens in the United States who visited emergency rooms for suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts doubled between 2007 and 2015, according to a new analysis.


Researchers used publicly available data from the National Hospital Ambulatory Medical Care Survey, administered by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention every year. From the 300 emergency rooms sampled, the researchers tracked the number of children between 5 and 18 who received a diagnosis of suicidal ideation or suicide attempts each year.


Diagnoses of either condition increased from 580,000 in 2007 to 1.12 million in 2015, according to the study, published Monday in JAMA Pediatrics. The average age of a child at the time of evaluation was 13, and 43% of the visits were in children between 5 and 11.


Suicides under age 13: One every 5 days


“The numbers are very alarming,” said Dr. Brett Burstein, the lead study author and a pediatric emergency room physician at Montreal Children’s Hospital of McGill University Health Centre. “It also represents a larger percentage of all pediatric emergency department visits. Where suicidal behavior among the pediatric population was just 2% of all visits, that’s now up to 3.5%.”

The findings come as no surprise to child psychiatrists.


“We know that suicide and depression have been rising significantly,” said Dr. Gene Beresin, executive director of The Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital and professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, who was not involved in the study.


Depression and a prior suicide attempt are the two biggest risk factors for suicide, and with rates of suicide on the rise, it makes sense for risk factors to increase as well, he explained.

The reason? It’s complicated

One reason for the increase in depression and suicidal behaviors may be more stress and pressure on kids, Beresin said.

“Kids are feeling more pressure to achieve, more pressure in school, and are more worried about making a living than in previous years,” he said.

Parents and caregivers are also more stressed, Beresin said, adding that rates of suicides have increased in all age groups over the past 20 years and that the stress is passed down to children and teens.

Another reason may be the rise of social media and increasing rates of cyberbullying that have come with it, Beresin said.


Approximately 15% of US high school students report that they’ve been bullied online in the past year, according to the CDC. A Pew Research Center survey found that the number could be even higher: 59%.


“Cyberbullying can be especially difficult for kids,” explained Dr. Neha Chaudhary, child and adolescent psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School and co-founder of Brainstorm:


Stanford Lab for Brain Health Innovation and Entrepreneurship. “Unlike in settings like schools, it can fly under the radar without anyone knowing it’s happening and without the same repercussions for the bullies.”

In isolation, none of these factors has been proven to lead to an increase in suicidal behaviors and ultimately suicide, but taken together, a pattern begins to emerge, Beresin said.


And the country may not be adequately equipped to deal with the problem.


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