Posts Tagged ‘Approval’

Approval versus Acceptance



We wage a daily battle for attention, sometimes from others and other times for ourselves.

The need for attention manifests in our desire for approval.

Do we need approval more than accepting ourselves is the question.

The need for approval can lead to suffering and dominate our lives.

We do things for approval that wastes our time and energy.

Approval exists out there, externally and approval can change instantly.

Those who we seek approval from can also hand out criticism.

We have little control of exterior things.

If we feel flawed, dominated by worries, tortured by doubt, approval can feel like the path to happiness.

Exterior approval or criticism has little to do with a healthy and happy existence.

Learning to discount others opinion frees us to be present and alive.



From the book Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation: Skills Training for Patients and Therapists by Kathy Steele and Onno van der Hart

painting by Scott Musgrove


“People with complex dissociative disorder were often confronted as children with situations that evoke extreme and overwhelming emotions. Generally younger children learn from their caregivers how to understand and regulate emotions.  People with dissociative disorder often grew up in families in which it was not acceptable to show or discuss certain emotions.

In some cases it was actually dangerous to express feelings, resulting in punishment, ridicule or complete disregard.  Parents or caregivers of people with complex dissociative disorder typically had a problem with emotions themselves and were thus unable to teach children adaptive and healthy skills to deal with emotions.  These children learn to avoid or disregard their own feelings.  They also have difficulty reflecting, that is, accurate reading other people’s emotions and intentions in the present, generally assuming something negative rather than positive.”




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