Posts Tagged ‘Anxiety’

’YOU are NOT your THOUGHTS’

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Those with PTSD, anxiety, depression or another mental disorder, live with a constant, seemingly unending flow of negative, maybe even scary thoughts.

In a strange way I honored these thoughts as reality, as true.

It was all I had ever been exposed to. The totality of my experience yielded an extremely unworthy self image (Ego).

My Mindfulness/Meditation practice helped me explore my inner world, the place these unworthy thoughts hide.

Mindfulness teaches us to observe our thoughts without judgment or influence.

Look how fixated we become when someone angers us, disrespect us, or tries to harm us.

The more I identity with with my unworthiness, the more biased and violent my response will be.

My thoughts stole forty plus years of my life, so do not underestimate there power.

Now, I have learned to let thoughts fade.

I have learned my best chance at a happy life is multiplied a 1,000,000,000,000,000 times if I can stay present, observing the now.

It is true. My life sucks if I allow trauma thoughts to percolate for any amount of time.

Any thoughts?

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Mindfulness: A road less traveled

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In America we think happiness is connected with success, accumulating degrees, power and possessions.

Being assertive, competitive, even ruthless is acceptable in business.

We practice, learning to react to challenges, desiring to overcome them.

A Midfulness practice is different.

We practice not reacting, not judging, not grasping a negatively charged emotion.

Fear, Anger, Disgust, Sadness, Rage, Loneliness, Melancholy and Annoyance are the negative emotions.

Not easy to do, when we feel disrespected or treated unfairly.

Can we observe an individual or a situation without reacting personally?

Can we refuse to waste time, thinking about how we want to react?

Can we let anger or resentment fade without acting on its emotional impulse?

We always have the ability to react when we need to.

It would be nice if we cultivated the ability to not react when we feel different.

Having a choice gives us much more influence in our lives.

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Chronic Pain group and Suffering

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After my triple rollover on I-5 south, after the fusions, many doctors and therapies I was left with serious chronic pain.

Along with 14 other unfortunate souls, I joined a real chronic pain group. It was depressing knowing this was my peer group.

Group was stressful at first, so many medications and fear of the unknown. You find out quickly that you share five or six different traits.

I ranked myself in the middle of the group, and damn glad I was not hurt as bad as some. Mostly spinal injuries for all 15 of us.

We all just wanted to go back to our life as it was. Hold on to that desire and suffering will be your partner.

After six months my inner guide knew it was time to change.

I threw out my pills and started to hike. My pain increased and desperately wanted me to stop.

As a jock, this was a battle I knew well. After a month of hiking everyday, my chronic pain began to compress.

I learned my thoughts and emotions could increase or decrease my pain.

I challenged another in group to follow me.

His name is Rick and this is a response from this post:

https://ptsdawayout.com/chronic-pain/

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“Everything in this article is true! I personally witnessed Marty go through this. My name is Rick and I was in the same pain management group when I met Marty and he can a test to the fact that I was close to death! A lot closer then I am today. Let me explain…

I have had 5 back surgery’s. I have a Med. Pump implanted in me which was maxed out feeding me Dilotded 24 hours a day and a spinal cord stimulator implanted in me and at the time I was taking Morphine,Percocet pulse Soma nothing helped the pain! I wanted to die! I thought my life was over.

I was only 34 when I got hurt at work and after 8 years of uncertainty and the thought of not being able to provide for my family I was at my end!

I met Marty in my pain management group and I saw someone who had a way out! I started to walk more and stop feeling sorry for myself and realized there is more to life and I cant give up! Now I’m 51 years old, Marty and I still keep in touch even though I live in TX. now. I visit with him every time I get back home. I am now doing some Acting in films and enjoying life with out all the drugs.”

Thanks Marty

Rick

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Our Ego never feels Equal to another Ego

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We know scientifically that we create a fictitious identity (Ego) to navigate life.

I call my guy, Marty.

He is a combination of how my first caregivers raised me, how others treat me, how I see myself in this world, and a few other intangibles. He can adapt and change but not easily.

Every Ego desires to be special, desires to elevate his/her status in a myriad of ways.

Our Ego feigns and bluffs with a plethora of thoughts and emotions for control of our being.

All the Ego needs to do is get us thinking about emotional thoughts and judgments.

He/She does not need to convince us, just distract us to win control.

Get lost in thought and lose control, awareness.

Our Ego never feels equal to another Ego, thus creating this need to compete or hide.

Our Ego is out front and in control when we feel wronged, mistreated, disrespected, ridiculed or feel sorry for ourselves.

The other side, too much Ego, has facets of narcissism. This Ego desires adulation over all else.

This insecure Ego uses other Egos for their pleasure.

Next time you walk into a class, a meeting or a group, bring awareness to where your Ego thinks you fit in.

Can you feel your Ego ranking you in the group. One thru ten, where are you? Is your judgment correct?

If your ranked one, two or three, does this impact your Ego?

Would it make a difference if you were an expert in the group or a novice?

It sure would for me.

Can you be calm when your Ego feels like a novice, a little vulnerable?

How you respond will give you insight about your Egos strengths and weaknesses.

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Pain part four: The importance of perception

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From Trauma Sensitive Mindfulness

“Through research on people living with osteoarthritis, Dr Tasha Stanton from the University of South Australia has discovered there are many surprising factors that influence pain, including the way a person perceives their own body.

‘If we give people [with osteoarthritis] pictures of their hand at different sizes and we say ‘please pick out which one best represents your hand’, they will choose the image that is significantly smaller.

‘That suggests that there is alteration in their perception of the size of their body part.

‘But it’s not limited to that—we also see problems with their perception of touch. They are not very good at localising where they are being touched and they are not very good at localising where that body part is located in space.’

Stanton says these tests suggest people with chronic pain process location-specific information differently. She hopes to use this new information to develop new treatments.

‘The tack I have taken has been saying: if we have these altered perceptions in people with pain, what if we actually target these perceptions directly?’

Working with people with knee osteoarthritis, Stanton and her team have devised a series of experimental ‘visual illusions’, in which patients wear video goggles while researchers feed them a ‘live video link’ of their knee.

Patients watch the video in real-time, unaware researchers are covertly changing what’s on the screen in front of them.

‘One of the more potent illusions that we use is called the stretch illusion. They are looking down at their knee and suddenly they see it start to elongate, as if the joint is stretching out and being tractioned.

‘At that exact same time, we give a slight pull on the calf muscle.

‘Both the visual and touch information is telling their brain, “Actually, your knee is stretching out big and long!” And for some people, they are getting pain relief with this type of illusion.’

According to Stanton, the research supports other evidence that suggests that information from one sense—like touch or vision—can modulate information that is coming from another sense.

‘Our brain takes information from all these different senses—from touch, from sound, from vision, from movement—it puts all these things together for us to create a perception or a feeling of our own body.

‘It makes sense, then, for treatments to embrace that multisensory nature.’

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Pain: Part Three, 3

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“For many patients, what’s worse is the invisible nature of their condition.

‘You can’t see pain, and this is a very big thing for these people,’ says Gustin.

‘With my work, I can educate people that it’s a physical pain that results from subtle changes in the brain.’

According to Gustin, the research demonstrates that interaction between brain cells is damaged in the brains of people with chronic pain.

‘It’s in an unhealthy way, and we can change that.

The border, the thalamus, can actually close, and we can do that with neuro-feedback.

‘We can change the way the cells talk to each other and we can actually rewrite the painful memories.’

My thoughts on Control

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In my opinion, many think we control our life, our destiny.

In my generation, college was a way to get control of our future.

Control seems to be linked to success, power and possessions.

One thing I have no control of, the 60,000 thoughts that show up everyday.

My influence comes from reacting or not reacting to these thoughts.

A good percentage of my daily thoughts bring worry, doubt, fear and anxiety (childhood trauma).

This is my daily battle, let the noise go or grasp and suffer.

The battle is lost if we engage these unworthy thoughts.

Depression, anxiety, PTSD and other mental disorders incubate around thinking.

Negative emotional thought can dominate life.

If you suffer from PTSD or depression you have experienced the suffering caused by rumination in our past trauma.

The “Ego” believes he/she can control our life through these past thoughts.

If we grant this control, we are a victim and life is full of suffering.

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