Posts Tagged ‘action’

I am Responsible: first three words of healing


.
.
We are Responsible for our life, our behavior, our reactions and our attitude.

 

Realize excuses are failures to take responsibility.

 

My father was an abusive, violent narcissist.

 

In spite of my father, I am responsible for how I live my life, treat other people and treat myself.

 

If you want to heal this bridge needs to be crossed.

 


We need not forgive but we must take total responsibility for our life.

 


Next, Wellbeing will be harder for me to achieve, it is the challenge I was born into.

 

My responsibility let me accept the challenge of changing it.

 

The buck stops with us, we are the captain of the ship, the quarterback of the offense, the one who is responsible for our actions.

 

Hard to avoid giving all out effort, if you take responsibility.

 


If you do not take responsibility, victim will be the label you earn.

 


Conclusion: Do not compare your challenges with another, think of your challenges as a heavy sled, we are tasked with pushing a certain distance everyday.

 

Focus intently on moving the sled, distractions will find it harder to break through.


Responsibility brings the gift of purpose.

 

My father wins if I fail.

 

That’s all the incentive I have ever needed in the dark times of doubt and helplessness.

 

What is your incentive.

.
.

Trauma froze my mind at times

https://pixabay.com/users/Pexels-2286921/

.

.

When my mind was frozen from multiple eruptions of my fight or flight mechanism, life seemed out of control, suffering was a daily companion.

An enormous pull, one reinforced by the sensing of imminent danger, powered by secretions of cortisol and adrenaline, supported by a biased storyline, draws us toward avoiding.

At first as a new chronic pain sufferer and when PTSD erupted at 55, I isolated from the crowd and felt damaged.

It takes a while for us to understand the enemy (challenge) and there is an all out war to be waged.

I love that image of waging war with Trauma. It sure felt like a war, I sure as hell felt mortally wounded mentally.

Waging war with trauma meant surrendering to its power while sitting quietly, focused while observing all the body sensations.

A different war, where we lay prone, vulnerable, exploring our traumas without judgment.

The road less traveled of course.

Part of our battle plan: Always incorporate your strengths in every endeavor you undertake. I was a former pro athlete, a typical gym rat, an athletic grinder.

My ability to make my body take action in the face of danger or pain was a great asset, a vehicle used to accelerate healing.

The ability to hike uphill to exhaustion, showered me with enormous reward. Even though my mind had betrayed me, frozen and terrified, I could push my body through pain and fear like a locomotive.

What a contrast to shaking uncontrollably, filled with cortisol, avoiding triggers, suffering, compared to exhilaration and accomplishment.

Whether it was the prison of chronic pain or Complex PTSD’s stress hormones (cortisol, Norepinephrine and adrenaline) the skill to take action, especially strenuous aerobic exercise was invaluable.

You do not have to be coordinated or athletic, all you need is the will to push your body strenuously.

Chronic pain and PTSD are usually isolating and depressing ways of life.

Adopt a sedentary lifestyle and you will suffer.

The ability to take daily action is the one trait I see shared by those who improve that I mentor.

Incorporate Strenuous aerobic exercise three times a week.

Our toxins and poisons are flushed from our system during strenuous aerobic exercise.

Cortisol is dissipated calming our nervous system. We are mechanically eating up cortisol, giving us a much needed break.

We need wins over PTSD when it is at its apex of power.

Use your body to energize your mind.

.

.

Anything that fluctuates can be influenced

https://pixabay.com/users/ar130405-423602/

.

.

Both Chronic pain and PTSD entered my life with me being clueless about their power, intensity and mechanism.

It took me 6 months with each to understand the challenge and form a plan to cope.

One of the first patterns I witnessed was how PTSD and chronic pain fluctuated during the day and night.

So my pain or PTSD did not have a constant intensity or duration.

PTSD rotated from calm to extremely triggered in seconds. Some times were calm and easier, others pure terror.

Chronic pain has an ebb and flow, intense times along with easier times.

My relationship with chronic pain was different than the other 14 in our chronic pain group. I took action, lost the fear of my pain and improved.

They lived a sedentary life filled with 30 pills a day, they suffered.

I hiked uphill causing my pain to spike, then the music was cranked, my goal was to never let pain stop my legs from moving.

Hiking another 15 minutes with my pain as a companion, in a month my chronic pain started to compress. I did not fear my pain after that month.

PTSD was a roller coaster ride of terror, followed by mental anguish and then worry about future anxiety.

The only breaks happened during times getting lost in a chore, nature or a hobby.

I found meditation provided the focus and platform to observe my fears without being part of them.

It takes time, courage and willpower.

My recent eruption of a buried trauma has challenged my skills.

I forgot how intense a serious trauma can be.

Taking action, even the slightest action moves us out of victimhood.

Better to resist, to take action.

Being sedentary powers chronic pain and PTSD.

Thoughts proliferate in a sedentary environment of Pain or Trauma.

.

.

Meditation is a matter not of theory

Pixabay:Pexel

This is a very healing action!

.

.

“Meditation is a matter not of theory but of practice, just as it does not satisfy your hunger to read a restaurant menu if you are not going to eat something from it.“

Matthew Richard

.

.

My two cents: Meditation is not an intellectual property, reading a book or taking a class helps little.

Our healing will happen internally by our own action.

This action for me was meditating and integrating.

If this does not work for you, then find an action.

As one therapist told me, if you have to limp, get out on the dance floor.

The conditions for those of us with ptsd are never going to be perfect.

Each trigger, I forced myself to stay present for one breath before I avoided, denied or froze. In time that one breath grew to two, then five and eventually ten.

By that time panic had calmed and I guess I ate the elephant a bite at a time. Small actions work.

I could of labeled those stepping stones failures instead they were valued as successes.

We need Little Successes and that happens with daily activity and direction.

.

.

How do we change, heal?

https://pixabay.com/users/enriquelopezgarre-3764790/

.

.

Real change does not happen on its own.

A pivotal decision must be made.

Am I willing to take action?

All the reading, discussing, and contemplating is informative but lacks any chance of change.

Change, real change takes daily action!

This is the greatest challenge I see with people wanting to heal from PTSD.

Most will continue to suffer, somehow unable to take daily action.

What holds people back from taking action?

It takes courage, facing the unknown, being vulnerable in the face of incredible trauma fear.

What holds you back from dedicating 30 minutes a day toward change (healing)?

I started building my focus on my breath, trying to have three breaths free of thought.

I picked a small, specific, concrete action to invest in.

Something small, simple, bulletproof where I could see improvement.

Start small, gain confidence, invest all thought and energy into the activity.

Thoughts?

.

.

Building Self Compassion

988EA717-1AB5-4F68-9AF8-D9E5253A4859
.
.

The Self Compassion Skills Workbook”:

1. “There is a specific circuit in your brain that scientists call the Care Circuit, which creates the experience of compassion, warmth, and love.

2. Self-compassion training strengthens your Care Circuit—like exercising a muscle.

3. With enough compassion training, your Care Circuit can literally grow in size so that the increase is visible on a brain scan.

4. The Care Circuit is one of the primary emotional circuits in the brain that creates happiness and well-being.

5. Activating the Care Circuit through self-compassion training reduces every form of emotional distress, including anxiety, depression, and anger.

6. Compassion training for 30 minutes a day for 14 days creates significant changes in the brain and leads to more prosocial and altruistic behavior.

7. Eight weeks of compassion training can make your temperament or personality significantly more positive.

8. Scientists have documented that Buddhist monks with intensive training in compassion have the strongest markers for happiness in their brains that have ever been recorded.”
——
There is no limit to the amount of compassion (for yourself and others) that you can develop in your life if you are willing to practice.

Your body and your brain are designed to feel compassion, and the more you engage your Care Circuit, the stronger and bigger it becomes.

There is nothing stopping you from developing a radically new way of relating to yourself—with kindness and love.
.
.

My two cents:  This is a roadmap made by Neuroscientists, pointing out the road less traveled, “The Happy Path”.

 

If you want to be happy, adopt a daily mindfulness/meditation practice.

.

.

Taking any action moves us out of the victimhood house.

https://pixabay.com/users/EliasSch-3372715/

.

.

If you suffer from a mental disorder, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, etc., action is mandated.

How would you describe your situation, if you are not taking any daily action to heal?

That would signal defeat for me, I had quit. I had given up!

Wow, no way I am joining that team.

I rather be dead than live a victims life.

I believe in “Never give in, Never give up” a 1000%.

It is a choice.

If you are not trying, do you expect healing to happen on its own?

Do you think a therapist is going to heal you?

Do you avoid holding yourself responsible.

Victims take no responsibility or daily action to heal.

Healing is a choice to take daily action or surrender.

.

.

Guest Post: Find your own way to heal, but be activel

.

.

From Sergism.com

First of all I want to thank Marty for giving me this place in his blog. I have recently started my own blog where I write about my own peculiar way to fight back my PTSD and my thoughts about nothing and everything. Blogging is one of my therapeutic tools.

I’m not going to explain my past before I started healing, only that for decades I suffered from chronic pains and chronic depression. My life until a year ago was filled with opiates and other painkillers. I wasn’t even treated for my depression. It was back in 2017 when I was sent to rehab for my pains that my healing started. But it wasn’t until the end of 2018, when all my traumas  were unleashed, that I really took control of my healing.

We all have our own baggage and we all have our own way to deal with it. I haven’t suffered more or less than other people, suffering ain’t a contest. Neither is happiness. We are all different unique individuals with completely different experiences, some of which are traumatic. What some people experience as traumatic may not be traumatic for others, but that doesn’t mean that those experiences weren’t traumatic. I honestly don’t think that we should be measuring and comparing ourselves. But I do know that we who have experienced traumas can be physically ill. These physical manifestations may differ from person to person. So does the way towards healing, it ain’t the same for everyone.

This last year I’ve learned a lot about myself and how to heal myself. I’m still in my healing process, and I believe that I will always be for the rest of my life. That is not a negative thing, on the contrary. That is actually an important part of my way out of denial, which is imprescindible for both healing and self development. 

I’m lucky to have good therapists that respect my own way of healing. They respect that because they see my improvements. They all say that I ain’t a usual patient. I take that as a compliment, but I honestly don’t think that there are usual patients. There are indeed lot’s of different tools and medications we can use to improve our health, but I strongly believe that we need to be active in the process. I don’t know nothing about others’ struggles, I only know about mine. I don’t know what’s the best therapy for other people, but I know what works for me. I know that my way of facing my struggles works because of the results. And by the feedback I get from other people both near me and in my group therapies, it looks like it works for other people as well. But let me be clear about it, I have no idea about what’s best other people.

So what is that that works so well for me? And what are the results that confirm that this actually works for me?

First let me tell you that from taking painkillers and being physically disabled to do things I wanted to do, so went I to being able to go kayaking, hiking, cycling and being able to live alone in the polar circle forests by myself for a whole week. It took me six months to start doing that. I haven’t taken painkillers for a year now. I don’t even think about the possibility of needing painkillers during my forest adventures.

Continue reading

Do you want to change next year?

 

40 day yoga challenge written down, simple but powerful visual.

.
.
All those New Years résolution are being created with the utmost desire to change.

 

Many resolutions are physical, losing weight, joining a gym, etc. Most of those gym memberships lose their desire in January.

 

Remember the mind resists change, pugnatiously protects its own habits from harm. Some of the things we want to change, served us well in childhood or coping as an adult, but are a big hindrance these days.

 

Want to change a habit?

 

Research, make a plan, then write it down. Get a white board and list your daily activities. We need to see the actions needed for change.

 

Simple, Immédiate, Concrète and Répétitive actions work far better.

 


Create the daily action practices and hold yourself accountable.

 


Maybe you need to have a talk with yourself about desire and bullshit.

 

Leave the words alone, forget judging and just do the work.

 


If doubt creeps in, increase your actions. Fight fire with fire, doubt has no place in our journey.

 

We have to have courage and authentically want change.

 

Good luck. On my bad days, I worked harder.
.
.

Merry Christmas

: https://pixabay.com/users/congerdesign-509903/

.

.

I wish all those who suffer from PTSD, depression, anxiety, or any other mental disorder, would find the gift of taking action this coming year.

Not Taking action, in my opinion, is the number one reason why people do not improve.

Without action we regress.

I also wish my words could inspire more to take action.

No one else can walk our path or heal us, it is an internal journey.

Merry Christmas to all.

.

.

%d bloggers like this: