Posts Tagged ‘ACCEPTANCE’

Awareness is impacted by time and speed!


Awareness thrives when the mind is focused and going slow.

Time impacts our awareness. Look how we act when we find ourself late for an important meeting. Being late accelerates our speed, we almost reach panic stage, unaware of everything but being late.


The mind races when we lose focus. Our bodies can go supersonic, however the mind works best going slow, being focused, empty of the noise.

While meditating, we intentionally slow the breath, which slows the nervous system, which helps us focus, letting the mind empty itself.


Using your breath, slow your heartbeat.

Then slow it some more.


Lengthen your breaths, extend the exhales, try to stop your heart, gently.

Mindfulness versus Ego: an oldie I like




The ego grasps identity, needs approval, achievement, a sense of superiority.

Mindfulness is about letting go, bringing perspective to desires.

The ego is rigid and narrow, mindful flexible and expansive.


The ego is created, mindful just is.

The ego feels isolated, better or worse not equal, the mindful totally connected to one another and things.


The ego always needs, the mindful, fulfilled with life exactly like it is.

The ego judges, the mindful accepts.

The ego avoids, the mindful stays even when vulnerable.

The ego has goals, the mindful a journey.

The ego restricts growth, the mindful unlimited opportunity.

The ego feels unworthy, the mindful complete.

The ego races, the mindful enjoys, slows.

The ego affiliates with anger, hate, resentment, the mindful has perspective and balance when expressing emotions.

The ego is lonely, the mindful at peace.

The ego is sad, the mindful happy.

Late, trying to get done as quickly as possible.


I was rushing, doing the laundry, trying to get done as quickly as possible.

A big bell went off in my head. Slow down, become aware, focus!

I became aware of the judgments, maybe subconscious that led to this behavior.


Apparently, I did not want to fold clothes and put them away. Let me preface this account with my living situation, I live with my daughter and three grandkids 6, 8, 11. (Lots of laundry)


Yes, it has always been a mundane chore. I was judging this as a chore, an unpleasant chore.

I knew better. My mind had dissociated into memory and future planning. In this mindset, laundry was unpleasant.


This created a man-made dilemma, time, being late. We lose focus when we are late, stress builds and awareness evaporates.


My life was not being lived fully doing the laundry. A minor thing unless this dissociation runs into the rest of my life.


If we checked out of all mundane situations, life would lose any chance for happiness.


I know happiness is entering our mundane parts everyday.


There must be more inside these moments that we miss daily.


This path to happiness is very subtle, seemily underneath simple situations.

Our challenge is to find ways that simple, mundane situations become enjoyable and important.


Purpose, I think!


25 Characteristics of Narcissistic Parents and Dysfunctional Families (Part 2) By Darius Cikanavicius, Author, Certified Coach Last updated: 12 May 2019



Part one of this article can be found here.

And here’s the rest of the list.

14. Incompetency

In a dysfunctional family, the parent is fundamentally incompetent. They may feel helpless and consequently expect other family members, including their child, to take care of them and shoulder adult responsibilities. Or they will simply fail to meet their responsibilities altogether.


15. Pretending

Narcissists are pretenders. They are fake. They often pretend to be something that they are not. One way they do this is by falsely claiming that they have certain character traits when they really don’t. Or by declaring that they believe something that they actually don’t. Or by saying that they hold certain values while, when examining their actions, you can clearly tell that that they are lying.


16. Turning people against each other

The narcissist uses indirect communication to play people against each other. They also lie, gossip, smear, or slander others. They can also isolate their victim in order to control and manipulate them.

All of this is sometimes referred to as the divide and conquer tactic, and can even involve people outside of the family.

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Meditation brings awareness to the senses.

First we focus on the breath, slowing the pace, elongating the cycle gently. Next we start to extend the exhales, calming the nervous system intentionally.


Relax, no right or wrong, good or bad where we are headed.


We listen for the softest sound in the room. We then go below that decibel level, listening for the sound of our inhales and exhales.


We feel our interior world for body sensations, irritations, spasms, tightness, pain, and any other insight. Bring the breath to these areas and relax. Be curious about exploring your inner world.


Next we investigate what we see with our eyes closed. It could be dark, a grey fuzz, vibrant colors or something in between. Some people experience light shows, mine is a grey pattern.


If you are sitting in a chair, feel your soles connect with the floor and your butt grounded in the seat. Feel gravity weigh your calm body downward.


Some people light their favorite incense when they sit. Notice the smells in the room. Certain aromas help calm us for our journey.


All of our senses require no thought and are ever present. Intense awareness of the senses brings us back to now.


Enjoy the time you have taken to be kind to yourself.


Observe the senses intimately without judgment or cognitive input.



Start slow and enjoy the awakening.

“Ego” and Awareness

Awareness does not involve our “Ego”.

Our “Ego” is never equal to another “Ego” and craves approval. That means criticism is avoided, denied or excused away.


Awareness through the “Ego’s” vision is very biased and highly inaccurate.


Awareness arrives when we go below the “Ego”, below all thought and emotion.
It happens when we get quiet, focus, and observe.


Awareness enables observation, seeing without judging.


This is our first step towards healing or happiness.

Our memories can be described as incomplete and inaccurate.

Memory, well trauma memory is stored in brief packets. We fill  the spaces in between.  These memories are collected when our fight or flight mechanism has hampered judgment.  


Survival from an imminent threat shuts down parts of the mind and stores this memory in a different part of the brain, the right amygdala.


In criminal trials eye witness has proved to be inaccurate unless you know the person.  Watch an old movie you viewed five years ago. See how memory is different from that movie.

Be aware of the prejudice, the childish “Ego” holds tightly.



Free yourself from the bias, see life clearly, become aware.

4 Effective Strategies To Take Control of a Strong Emotion By Jonice Webb PhD










These are only a few of the feelings that have a special ability to grow very intense, virtually incapacitating you.

Whether you wake up in the morning feeling it, lie awake unable to fall asleep because of it, can’t make a decision due to it, or stay in constant motion to avoid it, any one of these feelings, when intense enough, can temporarily rule your life.

As often as I say that your feelings are your friends, I also must acknowledge that they can become your worst enemies. And many fine people are set up to have this happen to them more than should be. They are set up by growing up in families which ignore or minimize, or simply do not talk about, feelings. I call this common childhood experience Childhood Emotional Neglect.

When you grow up in a family that does not openly address feelings, you do not learn how to manage and use your feelings the way they are meant to be used. As an adult, you will then be prone to becoming either numb or periodically overwhelmed or immobilized by powerful feelings or, as happens for many, both.

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