Posts Tagged ‘ACCEPTANCE’

Does wanting to be Happy take daily work, action?

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Ask anyone, Do you want to be happy. Of course. the overwhelming response will be an enthusiastic yes.

Next ask, What does happiness look like to you? That answer will be incorrect 95% of the time. True happiness is very elusive, hidden to us.

What are the physical and mental actions you take everyday to be happy?

Not many actions taken, the usual response.

Remember, one definition of happiness is being in harmony with our inner nature.

If I want to be in better shape, a plan is developed.

The way I eat changes, daily exercise routines are formulated.

I may research, inform myself better, raising my chances at success.

Matthew Ricard in “Happiness” says our goal in life is to be “Happy”.

I wholeheartedly endorse this view.

Happiness has nothing to do with chasing pleasure, or getting hooked on dopamine.

If happiness is harmony with our inner nature, what actions help me with my inner nature?

Affirmations, meditating, practicing awareness, entering a mundane task, letting negativity go, etc., are a few actions available.

Happiness is surrounded by gratitude, giving and humility!

Just wanting to be happy does not work.

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Authentic Happiness

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“Authentic happiness is not linked to an activity; it is a state of being, a profound emotional balance struck by a subtle understanding of how the mind functions.

While ordinary pleasures are produced by contact with pleasant objects and end when that contact is broken, sukha (happiness) —lasting well-being—is felt so long as we remain in harmony with our inner nature.”

Matthew Ricard in his book “Happiness”

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My two cents: So long as we remain in harmony with our inner nature, seems to inform us pleasure objects, possessions, power, approval, or status are temporary imposters.

Being in harmony with our inner nature is the goal of our Meditating/Mindfulness practice.

For me, being in harmony happens when I am focused, aware of everything around me, observing without judgment, or maybe entering fully into a task.

The less I depend on possessions, power, approval and status, the better chance I have of being in harmony with my inner nature.

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Happiness seems elusive for most of us!

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Growing up being happy did not seem to be our goal. Being raised Catholic, I had responsibility to the church and God.

My parents demanded proper behavior at home, school and in public. Somehow out of this indoctrination and proper behavior, happiness would be attained.

Well that never worked out. I studied hard, accomplished a college degree, added seven years as a professional baseball player, before a successful working career, but lasting happiness was a complete stranger.

Now I knew possessions, accomplishments, power or approval were not connected with true happiness.

Happiness is hidden, in some of the simplest thing we do.

Hidden in the mundane, clouded by bias and thought, happiness eludes us.

Emotions lead us away from happiness. Try being angry and happy at the same time. Many emotions are connected to negative thought and judgment.

I have found peace and happiness inside mundane chores at times.

Happiness only exists in this current moment, so we need to be present first to enjoy.

Thought seems to chase away happiness for me.

There is a time to think but continuous thought like we get involved in, is destructive.

An example: I have found peace doing laundry.

My purpose: Make my grandkids look as good as possible.

How: Enter the chore completely. Each piece of clothing I pick up, receives total attention and energy. I feel like part of each piece of clothing when my focus is strong.

Time ceases, thoughts fade while a quiet calm envelopes me.

I have felt my nervous system dissipate all its anxiety and aggravation in this space.

Being totally present with laundry, has settled my being and brought a grounding, a smile to my being.

Is this a happy moment?

For me it has the correct elements.

We are Ever present while focused, observing and acting without thinking.

Happiness does occupy spaces like this.

Thoughts?

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External versus Internal truths

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“We carry inside us the wonders we seek outside us.”

– Rumi –
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My two cents: For me, my journey always sought worthiness and acceptance outside myself, from other people, institutions and teams.

This path soothed me temporarily during certain accomplishments and awards.


It is like problems, solve one problem and the next one arrives.


External praise or justification can be fleeting, definitely not permanent.

Another’s praise can change to criticism, the external is out of our control and maybe even influence at times.

Permanent things, I have found, are internal and constant.


My true self is the same, as yours, just come to now with your mind empty of thought. It is the same as last decade.

If I uncover my worthiness, my internal knowing, life changes.


The less power the external exerts upon me, the better chance I have for a happy life.


It is always simple, that is the way to be happy, surely not easy though.

Any thoughts?
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’YOU are NOT your THOUGHTS’

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Those with PTSD, anxiety, depression or another mental disorder, live with a constant, seemingly unending flow of negative, maybe even scary thoughts.

In a strange way I honored these thoughts as reality, as true.

It was all I had ever been exposed to. The totality of my experience yielded an extremely unworthy self image (Ego).

My Mindfulness/Meditation practice helped me explore my inner world, the place these unworthy thoughts hide.

Mindfulness teaches us to observe our thoughts without judgment or influence.

Look how fixated we become when someone angers us, disrespect us, or tries to harm us.

The more I identity with with my unworthiness, the more biased and violent my response will be.

My thoughts stole forty plus years of my life, so do not underestimate there power.

Now, I have learned to let thoughts fade.

I have learned my best chance at a happy life is multiplied a 1,000,000,000,000,000 times if I can stay present, observing the now.

It is true. My life sucks if I allow trauma thoughts to percolate for any amount of time.

Any thoughts?

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Mindfulness: A road less traveled

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In America we think happiness is connected with success, accumulating degrees, power and possessions.

Being assertive, competitive, even ruthless is acceptable in business.

We practice, learning to react to challenges, desiring to overcome them.

A Midfulness practice is different.

We practice not reacting, not judging, not grasping a negatively charged emotion.

Fear, Anger, Disgust, Sadness, Rage, Loneliness, Melancholy and Annoyance are the negative emotions.

Not easy to do, when we feel disrespected or treated unfairly.

Can we observe an individual or a situation without reacting personally?

Can we refuse to waste time, thinking about how we want to react?

Can we let anger or resentment fade without acting on its emotional impulse?

We always have the ability to react when we need to.

It would be nice if we cultivated the ability to not react when we feel different.

Having a choice gives us much more influence in our lives.

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Matthew Ricard: being present

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Observe what arises in your experience without imposing anything on it, without letting yourself be either drawn to it or put off by it.

See whatever is in front of you, a flower or any other object; listen attentively to the sounds nearby or far away; smell the fragrances and odors; feel the texture of what you are touching.

Register your various sensations, clearly perceiving their characteristics.

Be entirely present to what you are doing, whether walking, sitting, writing, doing the dishes, or drinking a cup of tea.

With mindfulness, it doesn’t matter what you are doing or whether you judge a task to be pleasant or unpleasant.

What matters is how you do it—with a mind that is clear and peaceful, attentive to what is happening, and full of wonder at the present moment, without superimposing mental constructs such as attachments or preconceptions onto reality.

When you are doing this practice, you stop endlessly swinging back and forth between attraction and aversion.

You are just attentive, lucid, and aware of each perception and sensation, of each thought that arises and passes away.

Feel the freshness of the present moment.

Do you find that it brings up a vast, luminous, and serene state of mind in you?

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