Posts Tagged ‘ACCEPTANCE’

Rejection, not an easy pill at any Age!

Pixabay: johnhain

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Human nature desires approval, our “Ego” craves it.

Our “Ego” will justify unethical or risky behavior to earn approval. Just look how we act in a group, behavior we would never attempt on our own, is acted out.

Peer pressure, being accepted by the group meant life or death in mans early days. The reptilian brain has stored memory of the need for security, approval, acceptance by the group.

When the “Ego” encounters rejection, the reaction will be emotional, almost victim like.

It takes a dedicated mindfulness practice, to focus, then let go of the “Egos” siren song of lack.

Rejection dissolves when we meditate. Entering into this moment, focused, empty of thought, connects to our Aware Presence, real life.

A wise man craves inner peace over external praise.

A wise man knows external things are impermanent.

Approval can change to criticism without our input.

Our happiness depends on us, not on any external thing.

Whatever your burden, happiness is a choice.

No one said it was going to be easy. Life is hard, a reality.

Accept the challenge, another one is coming after this one passes.

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Decisions: First one with PTSD

https://pixabay.com/users/JenDigitalArt-6490932/

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Trauma has impacted our life negatively. After the initial period of discovering what PTSD is and how to improve, we make an important decision.

We were all victims at one time or we would not have PTSD. Now, we must decide, do we continue behaving as a victim or do we take responsibility and try to heal?

If we consult the statistics on suicides and the epidemic nature of PTSD in the world, many decide to stay a victims.

I have witnessed over and over how PTSD destroys peoples lives. PTSD gets worse with time and behaving as a victim, empowers it.

The decision is simple, take responsibility or live a victims existence.

No healing or happiness is experienced as a victim.

It seems an easy decision, common sense, but PTSD is an irrational disorder, ruled by extreme fear and distortion.

The decision is much easier if we develop a few skills to help us heal.

It is the road less traveled.

It takes incredible courage, then a willpower to take action in the face of fear.

It takes concrete baby steps repeated over and over.

We can decide to fight for our freedom at anytime.

Somehow, we must focus, clear the fog of PTSD, to see our suffering is caused by our own behavior.

We have to take risks to heal.

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5 Ways Anger is Not Like Other Emotions By Jonice Webb PhD ~

Tumisu / 619 images

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“Anger is not just any old emotion. It’s special.

In fact, it’s so special that a 2017 survey by the Mental Health Foundation of 2000 people found that 28% are sometimes worried about the level of anger that they feel.

First, let’s outline what makes anger different from other emotions, and then we’ll talk about how you can use this information to become happier and healthier in your life.

5 Ways Anger is Special

 

* It’s Motivating: Anger’s purpose is to push you to protect yourself. Anger gives you energy. It’s activating, and it drives you to engage, not withdraw, as most other emotions do.

 

* It Never Stands Alone: Anger is always a result of feeling something else. You feel hurt, marginalized, overlooked, targeted, mistreated or vulnerable. Anger isn’t just an emotion, it’s a constellation of emotions. There are always layers of feelings underneath it, feeding it.

 

* It Seeks a Target: Other emotions can simply be. Anger cannot. Like an arrow shot from the bow, it looks for a target. This is what makes anger so easy to misdirect. It may erupt at the wrong person, in the wrong way and at the wrong time so very easily.

 

* It Can Be Turned Inward or Outward: Sometimes directing our anger at its true target can be acutely uncomfortable, and sometimes we aren’t aware of the true target. This is when we are at risk for turning our anger inward, directing it at ourselves.

 

* It’s Capable of Damaging Your Health: Research has shown that anger prone individuals and people who express their anger as rage are more at risk for heart attacks and cancer.

Anger is a powerful, protective, complex emotion.

Yes, it has potential to do great damage.

But used properly, it also has potential to help you mightily.“
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Dealing with our fight or flight mechanism firing violently!

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PTSD reaches its most terrifying peak when a trigger explodes violently, preparing us for a perceived lethal threat.

So another counterintuitive moment arrives in the face of healing from PTSD. At its peak, the most powerful moment, PTSD is also at its most vulnerable.

PTSD is a bluff. I have never read this from a book or heard it from a therapist, it is my personal experience.

A violently firing PTSD trigger is the greatest opportunity to heal we will ever receive.

PTSD can not play defense.

If we can focus and stay present during a trigger erupting, some integration will occur.

In layman terms PTSD will lose power when we stay present, empty of thought, focused on the breath, or body sensations.

Our thoughts add the fear to our fight or flight mechanism. There is no fear contained inside our defense mechanism.

Fear is created by our negative judgments and trauma memories kept alive by scary thoughts. PTSD is a disorder that thrives in the past then brings constant worry into our future.

PTSD will die if forced to live in the present moment. PTSD needs duration in our consciousness.

PTSD needs rumination, time spent thinking, or judging to fuel this destructive disorder.

PTSD gets worse with time not better. If you want to heal from PTSD, first make friends with your fight or flight mechanism, your nervous system.

Sit quietly, focus, explore your inner world.

PTSD is a bluff, it is our own defense mechanism we run away from.

Follow a trigger through completion.

We are triggered, adrenaline and cortisol are secreted. Loss of fine motor skills, tunnel vision, auditory exclusion, bp, respiration and respiration spike.

Our response happens. We either avoid, deny, try to escape or stay present. After a while, the. neurotransmitters dilute and our body calms down to normal.

That’s correct, nothing has happened to harm us. Our defense mechanism perceived danger, fired to protect us, then receded to a normal state.

We are not damaged. Our defense mechanism works and is ready to protect us in the future.

Then where is the real threat?

It is in our thoughts and fears, a mirage of trauma itself.

Realize nothing happens after a trigger settles down.

That was my dilemma but I ran from every trigger for years until I found a weapon to destroy it.

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Effects of the Adrenal Dump by Peyton Quinn!… This is fear, what we call the fight or flight mechanism,

Never give up, Never give in, We control only Attitude and Effort!n

Pixabay: geralt

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Growing up in the violence of a critical narcissistic father, my self worth was heavily damaged.

There was no escape, my abuser was a giant, I was helpless, I was a thing to him. He wanted to own me, control me, use me for his gratification as a star athlete.

My father coveted my being, my soul, to fill the void in his life. As a child, I imagined this was how everyone was raised.

You would think this was a life sentence of suffering for that little boy, but you would be wrong. I always knew something was wrong, that immense unworthy feeling never left my side.

My trauma lay dormant until a crisis in my life at age 58, then all hell broke loose.

Finally a therapist diagnosed me with C-PTSD.

I had an opponent, an antagonist to face, an opportunity to heal had arrived.

The ghost that haunted my life came into the light.

Fear had a name, PTSD.

PTSD became my opponent.

Just like the jock I am, a plan of attack was charted and intense daily action was taken.

Being able to let the long term goals alone, allowed me to enter the process more freely.

Attitude and Effort is what I brought everyday to my healing.

I was retired, so healing became my full time job.

Five hours of meditating, couple hours of reading, one hour of aerobic exercise, and constant application filled each day.

I was a professional athlete, so using my strengths seemed logical.

Use your strengths and modify any therapy to fit you.

Never give up, never give in, we control our attitude and effort.

Be positive, be inspired to give all our effort.

Relax, enjoy life, smile, you have done your best.

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Simple and Complex: how does it work

Pixabay: PublicDomainPictures

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The mind is extremely complex, we program it in the simplest of ways.

Bring acute awareness to where you place minute by minute attention. (A simple task)

PTSD is complex (complex PTSD even more complex), healing is simple and repetitive.

Focus on the breath, build your intensity, letting go becomes much easier. (Simple). Refuse to dissociate, this is our daily battlefield.

Work on one thing at a time, a laser approach, not an abstract shotgun blast.

Less effort needed when we use a laser to heal.

As Bruce Lee says, “I do not fear the man who practices 10,000 kicks, I fear the man who practices one kick 10,000 times.”

Explore your inner word, become friends with your nervous system.

Our breath controls the nervous system, our ability to calm down, feel safe and secure, free to enjoy life.

Simple things, like grasping only positive emotions takes no extra time.

Being aware uses no extra time or effort.

Accepting takes as much time as judging or grasping.

Why choose to suffer?

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