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The Breathing Track: Secrets I think? –Updated!!!! Comments

Alex hogs the show.  We have both been working everyday, amazed at where this is taking us.  Alex, at 70 has changed drastically.  He was a perfectionist, rigid, clinging to thinking and fighting to be able to control life.

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He used to worry, thinking about all the ways to please others, so many obligations, no time left for him.  Searching for the self-worth, that a child has hidden away from his constant search, he was lost.  Now, he has gained flexibility, a curiosity for the unknown and the focus to let go.

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Practice, so you can let go too.

The trick with happiness

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Happiness seems to come from a well adjusted self and the ability to focus the mind.

More specifically, can we avoid getting drawn into drama, ours or others.

Can we avoid worrying, craving approval, complaining or blaming?

Can we be content?

In trigger situations (trauma drama) can we focus and let go.

Can we be calm and content with who we are, right now, this second.

Most of us think we need to improve, need to accomplish something or cure something before we are whole or capable of being happy.

Happiness does not exist in the future.

The trick is to stay present by letting the noise go and being open to enjoying what is directly in front of you.

It maybe fantastic but probably mundane and boring as we judge life.

The mundane and boring lead to happiness, well inside them if we take time to explore.

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The DIY Path to Joy from Mindful.org

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The key is intention, says Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California, Riverside, and author of The How of Happiness. “I’m not suggesting we all try to become happier,” she tells me. “But those who feel their lives are not quite flourishing or who experience a lot of negative emotions can benefit from positive interventions.”

Although Lyubomirsky suggests multiple strategies for boosting happiness, she cautions that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. “Many of us persist in searching for the one true path to happiness, like the one diet that will work when all others have failed,” she says. “In truth there is no magic bullet. There are hundreds of things you can do. You have to experiment and choose what’s right for you.” Hearing this comes as a relief; I’m always suspicious of books and articles that evangelize the one true way.

Among the many strategies that Lyubomirsky discusses are: conveying your gratitude to others either verbally or in a letter; cultivating optimism; practicing deliberate acts of kindness; nurturing strong social relationships; forgiving those who may have hurt you; genuinely savoring life’s joys; participating in activities that truly engage you; practicing mindfulness; and taking care of your body, including exercising and cultivating laughter.

“Start with small steps to create an upward spiral,” advises Lyubomirsky. “Sense which of these activities feels most natural and most easily fits with your lifestyle, then try something a little more challenging later on. Ideally, some of the practices, such as focusing on relationships and becoming a better listener, will in time become automatic. Others may require ongoing intention and effort, like remembering to take a dose of a helpful medicine.”

Practicing gratitude, in particular, may feel artificial, but study after study has shown it to be one of the most powerful activities we can engage in. Lyubomirsky says, “Gratitude is a great way to consider what’s good about your life, instead of focusing on what’s not good or what other people have that you don’t. Lots of people say it’s hokey to count your blessings, and I’m actually one of them, but the payoff is tremendous.”

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updated: Awareness of the Whole Self —–Linda Graham, a neuroscientist describes self! no self sort of!!!!!!


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We learned in chapter 3 to develop the awareness that all emotions and sensations of the body are transient, as are all contents, processes, states, and traits of mental activity.
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Awareness — the state of mind that observes all of that coming and going as coming and going — is itself not coming and going.
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Our awareness of that greater awareness may come and go; most of us lose awareness of awareness in our busy daily lives.
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But the awareness itself is ever present, always ready to be rediscovered any time we choose to focus our attention.
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When we find the space between the stimulus and the response, we alter the rhythm of our doing; we wake up and create space for being.
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Awareness is the knowing, not the contents that are known.
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We can experience it as a vast sky that can hold all the clouds and storms moving through it.
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We usually pay more attention to the contents of clouds and storms than to the sky that contains them.
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As the Zen teaching tells us, when we are in a contracted state of mind, it’s like looking at the sky through a pipe.
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With mindfulness of awareness, we become adept at putting down the pipe and looking at the whole sky again.
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My two cents:  Unbelievable, Each sentence is amazing to me!
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Giving


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Where do I start?


Giving without regard for reward has many benefits.

 

Giving this way, opens up our compassion center.

 

Gratitude will grow when you help others, a great side effect.

 

Life looks and feels different when giving takes over.

 

If you need a purpose, none better than giving.

 

Gratitude and giving change us, transforms us, offers us the space where wellbeing and happiness live.

 

Besides my family, giving is the most precious possession I have.


That awareness has developed with daily meditation and practice.

 

Besides being a possession, giving is a boomerang.


Throw giving around and watch what comes back.

 

Even smiles and kind words have enormous power.
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updated:_____ this is old but helpful….Breathing Track Basics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

The Need to Please: Mindfulness Skills to gain freedom from People Pleasing and Approval Seeking: Micki Fine

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“Another childhood dynamic contributes to feelings of unworthiness. As children, because our parents are bigger than we are and know more than we do, we believe that they’re all-powerful and wise. This belief is important in helping us feel safe, and because we rely on our caregivers for survival, it isn’t easily shaken. Therefore, we believe our caregivers even when they say or do things that are abusive, unloving, or unaccepting and then assume that we are innately flawed.

 

 

Then, to avoid being hurt again, we disconnect from our emotions and bodies, where we actually feel the sensations of love: warmth, expansiveness, ease, or tingling, to name a few.

 

 

 

This numbing becomes the norm.

 


In addition, because our original experience of love is receiving it from others, we believe that love originates outside of ourselves, and we look for proof of it from others (Welwood 2006).

 

 

 

This further disconnects us from our own nature of love.

 


Accordingly, we compulsively strive to earn love and are fearful of the possible consequence of not receiving it: abandonment.”

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