Archive for the ‘Assorted’ Category

TRANSFORM YOURSELF TO TRANSFORM THE WORLD


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Developing our own positive inner qualities is the best way to help others.
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At the beginning, our personal experience is our only reference point.
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Our personal, self-centered experience, which tells us that we don’t want to suffer, can become the basis for a much larger point of view that includes all beings.
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We are all dependent on each other and we all aspire to happiness.
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It would be absurd (if not impossible) to feel happy while countless other beings all around us are miserable.
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Seeking happiness for oneself alone is doomed to failure, since self-centeredness is a major source of our discontent.
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Even if we display all the outward signs of happiness, we cannot be truly happy if we fail to take an interest in the happiness of others.
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Altruistic love and compassion are the foundations of genuine happiness.
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Matthew Ricard
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WHAT IS MEDITATION?

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Meditation is a practice
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that makes it possible to cultivate
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and develop certain basic positive human qualities
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in the same way as other forms of training
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make it possible to play
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a musical instrument
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or acquire any other skill.
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Matthew Ricard
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release

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“To let go is to release the images and emotions,

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the grudges and fears,

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the clingings and disappointments of the past

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that bind our spirit.”

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– Jack Kornfield

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5 Things A Narcissist Never Does By Peg Streep

 

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1. He won’t own his feelings
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Projection is the name of the game and he’s an expert at what Dr. Malkin calls “emotional hot potato” or ascribing his feelings to you. Current thinking is that the narcissist is highly motivated to look away and cover up the emotional wounds of his own childhood and pushing off from emotions and denying them at every turn are his go-to and tried-and-true strategies. That’s why in an argument, when you see his jaw muscles working, his gaze steely and his arms folded tight across his chest—all familiar signs of exactly how frosted he is in the moment—he’ll turn to you and ask, “Why are you always so angry?”
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2.He won’t take responsibility
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The narcissist is the ultimate Teflon king—nothing is ever his fault. Under fire, he convinces himself that he’s the one who’s been wronged, no matter what the circumstances. As Dr. Burgo notes, he is utterly convinced of this truth so, from his vantage point, there’s no reason for him to take responsibility because it’s your fault to begin with. He also believes he has an exclusive view of what constitutes “truth.”
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3. He won’t stop playing games
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Or better put, he can’t. The narcissist loves the rush he gets from feeling powerful in a relationship and manipulating you and playing games are the best ways he knows to feel great. He needs you but not in the way you think and he “cares” about you but his feelings have little to do with you. See number 4.
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4. He doesn’t connect emotionally
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Connection for the narcissist is self-referential and never dyadic. Even though he may be sexually accomplished, for example, and capable of gestures that seem nice or caring, it’s all about him, and maintaining his own sense of himself. It’s not about you.
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5. He won’t concede a fight

Winning means everything to the narcissist, along with upholding his “truth.” It’s in conflict that the narcissist is truly revealed, especially in a divorce as I learned firsthand. Because he is so responsive to slights of any kind and totally focused on defending and maintaining his sense of himself, any conflict which threatens him will bring out his true colors. There are no holds barred when you’re divorcing a narcissist—he has to win at any cost—and he’ll lie and do whatever he can to make sure he comes out whole. Forget negotiating or reaching a middle ground; it’s never going happen.
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Feelings!!!!!

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“Feelings, whether of compassion or irritation, should be welcomed, recognized,
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and treated on an absolutely equal basis; because both are ourselves.
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The tangerine I am eating is me.
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The mustard greens I am planting are me.
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I plant with all my heart and mind.
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I clean this teapot with the kind of attention I would have were I giving the baby Buddha or Jesus a bath. .
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Nothing should be treated more carefully than anything else.
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In mindfulness, compassion, irritation, mustard green plant, and teapot are all sacred.” .
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Thich Nhat Hanh
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Letting Go of suffering

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People have a hard time
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letting go of their suffering.
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Out of a fear of the unknown,
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they prefer suffering that is familiar.
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Thich Nhat Hanh
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Respond

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“Respond;
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don’t react.
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Listen;
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don’t talk.
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Think;
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don’t assume.”
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Raji Lukkoor
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