Archive for the ‘Assorted’ Category

Meeting this moment

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“May I meet this moment fully. 

 

May I meet it as a friend”.

 

Sylvia Boorstein

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My two cents:  Nothing to overcome, nothing to judge.

 

 

Meeting this moment fully disappears when worry, doubt, fear, anger, anxiety, jealousy or strong needs occupy us.

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Watering our garden

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I like this analogy, the visual of tending to my own loving kindness calms me.

 

 

A daily routine of attention and action that is not goal driven.

 

 

If we water our self-worth daily, the results will follow on their own.

 

 

Small, simple repeatable actions program our mind, not large,

complex  ones.

 

 

Living in the moment, supported by how we water our garden, determines much of life.

 

 

External stimulus can be the same, our internal reaction decides if it is good, bad, or maybe without a judgment.

 


We can let the external noise pass without our judgment.

 

If we must judge, use this skill sparingly!

 

Water your garden, give yourself inner peace.
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Watering Your Garden: The Need to Please

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“Some people liken loving-kindness meditation to watering seeds in a garden—in this case, the seeds of unconditional love. 

 

Harsh judgments, feelings of worthlessness, and a constant external focus are weeds in that same garden. 

 

I imagine chronic people pleasing as a garden in which the weeds have been watered but the seeds of loving-kindness remain dry. 

 

When you water the seeds of loving-kindness that are already in you, you cultivate the capacity to let your love grow and eventually blossom. 

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Ways to focus our mindfulness practice on the body ?

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Our mindfulness practice can be focused on connecting our awareness to our body.

 


This is the path that integrates trauma stored in the body. Our fight or flight mechanism does not need to fire for us to be influenced by residual trauma stored in the body.

 

 

When we feel our bodies triggered, an opportunity presents itself.

 

 

We can dissociate into thought, fueling PTSD or we can observe, feel and breathe into the part that is aroused. One fuels PTSD, the other calms and integrates.

 

 

Trauma stored in the body needs an intense exploration from a friendly unbiased observer.   We sit still, focus and listen to our interior world.

 

 

The first time I healed, my body trauma left me last.

 

 

A mindful practice brings intimate awareness of all these sensations without the storyline.

 

 

When we feel anxious, spooked or fearful, another opportunity arises.

 

 

Once our body trauma is felt without the storyline, it calms a little.

 

 

Repeated acceptance and befriending of our nervous system and body will integrate some of our PTSD.
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A follower asks: Marty I have a question for you.

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I was on the receiving end of some pretty intense road rage the other day (car chasing me, guy screaming profanities, slamming his breaks on front of me, cutting me off.). My mind was very much present in the moment, I experienced both fight and flight emotions. Despite that, I was surprisingly calm during it as my two-year-old was in the back, so my concentration was on getting my daughter through it safely. However, the experience was in hindsight, terrifying.

 

Afterwards, perhaps 20 mins later, I was eating lunch and noticed my hand shaking, barely able to hold a glass of OJ. I was shook up. My mind had largely moved on, but my body was still recovering from the incident. I practiced Loving Kindness to the ‘rager’, feeling compassion for his unsettled state of intense anger. That gave me a lot of peace, I wasn’t angry with him and I forgave him instantly. I was able to return to a relaxed state through acceptance and mindfulness meditation. I was relaxed, but the incident left me feeling completely wiped out for the rest of the day. Is this the result of over working the nervous system?

 

And I do wonder why sometimes we remain calm in highly stressful situations, but afterwards our bodies show signs of stress and anxiety? Like, after the fact?
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My two cents: First, emotional trauma fatigues us more than physical exertion. Second, trauma is stored in the right amygdala and in the body. It is all connected. Healing will have to address both areas for relief.

 

The remaining calm during the event can be a hybrid of being frozen (fight, flight or freeze). Remember this mechanism releases cortisol, adrenaline, along with heightened BP, respiration and heart rate. We have tunnel vision, lose our fine motor skills, along with distorted sequential time. We are left without a beginning, middle and end.
We get stuck, we dissociate into thought and emotion. The storyline we add becomes the fuel.

 

You did a great job of sending loving kindness and acceptance.

 

Our intention is not to push it away or destroy it. It happened and real danger was experienced. Give yourself a break, observe the incident without judgment. Know that this has no chance of repeating itself.

 

Hope that helps.
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Whose afraid of a Body system, revised

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Circulatory system: Carries oxygenated blood throughout the body.

 

 

Respiratory system: Exchanges life giving oxygen and eliminates carbon dioxide.

 

 

Nervous system: part of it; Adrenal response mechanism is tasked with defence, preparing us for a perceived lethal threat.

 

 

None of these systems have fear inside the mechanism.

 


I am not afraid of my circulatory system or my respiratory system!

 


Why am I afraid of my nervous system then?

 


Or the adrenal response mechanism (fight, flight or freeze mechanism).

 

 

Why?

 

 

It does not have fear inside it; we add our own fear with a storyline.

 

 


We can train the mind to be friends with our nervous system.

 


That’s part of what a mindfulness practice looks like.

 

 


Plus emotional regulation as a bonus.
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Path in Sequence

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“The first step toward change is awareness.


The second step is acceptance.


– Nathaniel Branden
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My two cents: The path in sequence;

 


Awareness:    We have to see reality, the real world, how we fit in. Attention is placed on how our mind functions, how it interacts with our body mechanisms. We need to see ourselves without the bias of the “Ego’s” judgments. With 60,000 thoughts passing through our consciousness daily, awareness is key for perspective and proper navigation.

 

 

Acceptance: Optimum acceptance would have us accepting everything about us right here, right now. There is nothing we can attain, accomplish or possess in the future that has any permanence or connection with happiness. We are complete, whole, capable of experiencing enormous happiness right now. Everything we need is available in this next breath.

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