It takes a while for us to understand PTSD is the enemy and there is an all out war to be waged.

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This is my mindset, I see some things in black and white, different than others. Not right or wrong just different.

Chronic pain and especially childhood PTSD were my enemy.

In my chronic pain group of 15, I was the only one who did not fear his pain. My dad had beat me daily for a whole childhood, pain was a constant companion.

Chronic pain was different from the acute pain he so regularly delivered. Being familiar with pain lessens it’s sting.

With PTSD the fear is reinforced with cortisol and adrenaline, giving the trauma memory real time power, so it seems.

Trauma is stored in a life threatening environment with parts of our mind shut down. The memory is never clear and our triggers manifest in the strangest ways.

PTSD stole my life, naturally I knew this mental disorder was my enemy.

As with sports, I learned everything about him. What powered him, symptoms, what lessens his power and I searched for his weakness.

That is how an athlete competes, I used my strengths, brought chronic pain out to battle. Hiking was the battlefield I chose to attack my chronic pain on.

With PTSD it was the firing of my fight or flight mechanism, that became the battlefield.

Exploring my triggers everyday, I found its weakness.

When our fight or flight mechanism fires, PTSD is at its apex of power.

Ironically PTSD was at its most vulnerable.

This was the battle field I chose.

Withstanding my adrenal stress mechanism firing, staying present, drained PTSD of its power.

Understand depression, chronic pain or PTSD is the enemy, meeting on the battlefield of your choice is how we improve.

Healing is not pleasant or anxiety free.

My healing was emotionally violent inside as evil left my organism.

This is ugly business but it is the path out of suffering.

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4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Linda on July 25, 2020 at 3:59 pm

    It’s an inner job. Blaming others or trying or wishing to change others, usually only succeeds in muddying our own waters. Slowing or stopping our own healing.

  2. Thanks for your input.

    You do not get onto the battlefield unless you have taken responsibility, then decided to fight

    I want to share this especially with my women viewers.

    PTSD can take your life, it takes action in the face of danger to heal. Find a way, a purpose like for me, it is a battlefield.

    That may not work for you but inside you have the battlefield where you have the advantage. Maybe you call it the court, or field

    It that is not an internal war what is

    It is an internal war, an internal battle for where the mind grants attention

    What fires together wires together

    Where we place our attention grows, where we withhold withers and die

    PTSD has stolen our beings attention, we need to extricate it

    It takes courage to surrender to a PTSD memory.

    It would not of been stored as implicit memory if it didn’t contain imminent danger

    That is extremely horrifying to us.

  3. My healing seems to be extremely internally violent as well! But I am great full for that healing🙏🏼 thank you for sharing

  4. We do not choose how trauma leaves but welcome it being gone

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