How could I have known?

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https://pixabay.com/users/naobim-1099306/

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Throughout childhood my fear and anxiety accompanied me. In high school, my stomach made me sick from the constant abuse.

This dangerous existence facilitated the dumping of cortisol and adrenaline everyday.

My normal was anything but normal.

How could I know? I had never felt my nervous system without those neurotoxins present.

This last week I have experienced my system as calm as ever in my life.

My focus has been concentrated on the slightest change in my fear drugs, cortisol and adrenaline.

I have been in observer role this week, detached, neutral, with as little judgment as possible.

With each observation, I see how my Ego feels slighted, followed by an emotional response.

Taking a step back, I see how easily these fear drugs dissipate when you break the Egos grip.

I never knew life could be this calm.

These fear drugs have caused turmoil in my life.

We can always learn and improve.

It is the journey that makes life worthwhile not the destination.

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