“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” ~ Lao Tzu

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Do you value others approval over self approval?

Childhood abuse, C-PTSD, made me extremely vulnerable, craving approval from others.

That craving took all the time needed for healthy self approval.

Constant criticism and beatings created a void, a damaged “Ego”, needing kindness at all costs.

My “Ego” felt unworthy, not equal to others, I judged myself defective.

The battle to heal or wellbeing is an internal one I found out.

Internal healing, accepting, then surrendering to my fears paved the way to a different existence.

Please learn from my mistakes and journey out of hell.

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6 responses to this post.

  1. “…….Constant criticism and beatings created a void, a damaged “Ego”, needing kindness at all costs.

    My “Ego” felt unworthy, not equal to others, I judged myself defective…….”

    This made me feel a great physical wave of extreme pleasantness, I don’t really know the word for it! Needing kindness AT ALL COSTS is way more than your average kindness. Even just a little bit of kindness would have done, but AT ALL COSTS? That’s massive. Thanks for writing this.

  2. That you for sharing

    We are in this journey together not in competition

    The old Israeli proverb

    If you save one he may grow to save the world

  3. This made me feel a great physical wave of extreme pleasantness

    Funny how words can connect in our deep hidden caverns sometimes

    Now we see we share similar issues in childhood

    Do we have a different language, subconscious in a sort

  4. Yes that is exactly it!

  5. I have journeyed out of the hell of needing others approval. Now I sing to my own song,

    It perhaps has something to do with being unconditionally loved for 11 years by a wonderful person, (died 10 years ago) empowered me to know I am not everybody’s taste, and nor do I have to be or need to be. I am me Still working through stuff but I know what is important to me, and where my values are. I wont lie, I wont gush and I am more and more comfortable with letting go, of people, possessions, constricts and agenda’s that I do not need in my life. I am not perfect and I am not healthy in CPTSD health in so many areas, Yet I am moving foreword no matter how small it is. I feel for me getting older is the empowering me, I really do not care what most people think of me. I am getting to be someone I like!

  6. Wow
    I have this blog to connect with people like you, doing the daily work, facing our fears

    That has happened is the journey

    Healing and happiness are different spaces that most people have not experienced or lived

    You are living your life doing your best

    We can not do any better than that

    Way to go

    Giving myself gallons of kindness and appreciating all the gratitude for having the courage and ability to fight back

    😎

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