Criticism been very very bad for me

Pixabay: pixel2013

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I bristle at criticism, always have. Something deep inside, something from childhood, awakens when I am criticized.

Past scenarios where someone has criticized me, are stored with more emotion and unrest.

It has taken considerable work to soften those memories.

I understand the origins of my childhood abuse and it’s impact on my self image and personality.

Fortunately, it was not a life sentence.

I am much happier now, have a greater feeling of freedom and peace of mind.

Life is not easy at times, but who said it was supposed to be.

Learning to accept the times that are anxious, sad and awkward, instead of trying to escape them has been a process.

At times criticism dies a quick death, other times we wrestle for a while.

Sitting quietly, focusing intently on the breath, I observe my emotions, anxiety and fear without judgment.

No effort to escape or avoid was taken.

Running, avoiding, powers our fears, gives them that unknown quality, a confusing terror.

Make friends with your nervous system and inner critic. Observe.

How do you handle criticism?

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8 responses to this post.

  1. I struggle most with criticism when it goes beyond just words because the person delivering the criticism has control over certain circumstances in my life. Those future implications are harder for me to sit with than the criticism itself.

  2. Thanks for sharing

    My inner critic was so huge it was difficult when criticism was external for me

    We all have our challenges

    Now I try to limit any duration a criticism had on me

  3. Really helpful post!

    Sometimes it helps me to think about accepting the information in criticism without accepting the shame. When criticized, I might say, “you’re probably right, silly me.”, and then I change the subject. The critic is usually surprised that there was no argument, so they’re less likely to double down. Then I can think about the information later and decide if it’s helpful or if it’s just the other person dealing with their own stuff.

    Still, I notice emotions come up. I like your approach of observing the emotions without judgment.

  4. Excellent plan disarming the critic

    I also think we need to look at the big picture

    Some people criticize much to often

  5. i don’t do well with criticism either. the last couple days i’ve gotten a lot about my music, which i am still a beginner musician and i know i’m not that good yet. the criticism seems to be mostly from haters though… people who are either jealous or otherwise don’t like me for some reason, so i’m trying to put it in the back of my mind but it makes me feel less confident at times… i’m also supposed to see an old therapist from high school at a reunion this weekend. i ran into her when i was in the hospital 15 years ago and she told her client not to talk to me because i was the kind of person who will never get better. it was 15 years ago she said it but i don’t wanna see her at this reunion this weekend. i think “at least i can prove her wrong” but then i think of how i am still sick in many ways and maybe i have proven her right, and i feel sad about that.

  6. That inner critic works overtime

    You have never given up

    You do not need her criticism or approval

    You only need your own and it seems you already have earned it

  7. thank you, and thanks for adding me. i have CPTSD too and am blogging about it and everything again after 15 years away from it (i used to do livejournal) anyway, i appreciate the support and i like what you have to say. peace

  8. Small daily actions can make enormous improvement

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