The Chains of Judgment (Thought)

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My fathers narcissistic mind believed criticism was the way to build the best baseball player. He envisioned a professional baseball player (son) would bring him notoriety and status.

How could I not have a critical judgment about myself, my unworthiness. Like other abused kids, we believed we were damaged at our core. I believed I was not worthy to live during my darkest PTSD days.

Now, all those judgments have been let go, I may be flawed but unworthy has left the building.

My “Ego” felt unworthy, damaged, shamed from its earliest memory. My only touch as a child was pain and violence.

All that has changed, healing uncovered my worthiness.

We all are perfect as our true self, our bodies and “Ego” are flawed. We all age, whither and die.

I have found we all share this journey together, not in competition.

I believe abused kids grow up to repeat their abuse or be the opposite of their abuser.

We are not happy go lucky, feeling things will work out, they did not work out in our childhood.

I am the opposite of my father by choice.

Life is a journey, I now enjoy my days.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Anonymous on July 11, 2019 at 4:42 pm

    Thank you for sharing. Your thoughts and feelings will help others in need of understanding!

  2. I appreciate the kind words

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