Phases of PTSD (my opinion)


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My childhood abuse lay dormant until my 50’s. I knew something was different about the way I felt, however I did not understand the causes of my PTSD.


After PTSD ignites, we enter a phase of discovery and research. Hell, it took me six months to understand the basics of trauma and how abusive my childhood had been.

 

Then we need to figure out a way to heal.


Optimally we have two times to handle the specifics of our trauma. The first is this discovery phase of exploring the cause of PTSD. The second is with a therapist or healer.

 

Trauma needs to be integrated when it surfaces. If your therapist brings up your trauma during a session, triggering you, it is their obligation to integrate this trauma into present moment.

 


Early on my healing journey, I visited an intuitive healer. She would resurrect the details of my childhood and then fail to integrate those triggers. My PTSD grew with this malpractice.

 

After we explore the cause and impact of trauma, handling trauma thoughts is detrimental to our health unless it is integrated.

 

Dissociation saved us during the trauma. When the trauma is over and we understand the cause, dissociation causes suffering.

 

We will never end our suffering, if we entertain trigger thoughts, dissociating into our emotional, irrational ptsd fear.

 

You can go on a PTSD discussion board and witness suffering and little healing. Participants trade specific details of their trauma with others, then judge how they relate to them.

 

This behavior brings a momentary feeling or comfort, followed by suffering, then strengthening of PTSD symptoms.

 

This is the opposite of healing. We heal by not thinking about our trauma.
We heal by refusing to dissociate into the past or future.

 


We heal by focusing, letting go and staying present when triggers explode.
PTSD is an irrational disorder. Common sense is useless in understanding how trauma manifests in our life.

 


My trigger fears were embarrassing for me. I knew there was nothing to fear when people stared at me.


My trauma, my right amygdala did not get my conscious belief. Suffering was out of control when I consciously battled my judgments.


I tried to think my way out of PTSD. Constantly I would analyze the specifics of my dads abuse, consciously  trying to find the door to normalcy.


All that thinking, dissociating landed me in my garage for six months, unable to leave, agoraphobic.


I had avoided my triggers until life narrowed to one room.

 

Healing came with accepting, then not thinking, letting go and staying present.

 

Strength comes with surrender to our fears. Counterintuitive indeed but it is the path to healing and happiness.

 


We have to take action to heal.
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7 responses to this post.

  1. This is great advice and I agree with most of what you are saying. I guess for me, another thing that helps me be better is to help others who have experienced similar trauma. I totally relate to your post. You garage was my couch.

  2. Thanks
    I agree

    This blog and a real mindfulness group have helped me tremendously

    The highest form of learning is to teach to others

    Giving and gratitude are rungs in the healing ladder

  3. Yes gratitude is also an important part of the process for me, and of course my art. Thanks for your openness and sharing.

  4. Thanks for the post and the wisdom…indeed surrender/acceptance is the key but involves lots of work/effort.

  5. Yes is takes daily work and courage to heal

    Thanks for the input

  6. Thank you for the advice. Too often discussion of how to heal is sidetracked by a comparison of ”war stories”, but the details don’t matter as much as the recognition of a shared experience, or hearing someone say, ”my pain is your pain and your pain, brother, is my pain.”

  7. Nice sentiment

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