David Kessler: The Five Stages of Grief; 2. Anger

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2.  ANGER:   Anger is a necessary stage of the healing process. Be willing to feel your anger, even though it may seem endless.

 

The more you truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal.

 

 

There are many other emotions under the anger and you will get to them in time, but anger is the emotion we are most used to managing.

 

The truth is that anger has no limits. It can extend not only to your friends, the doctors, your family, yourself and your loved one who died, but also to God.

 

You may ask, “Where is God in this?

 

Underneath anger is pain, your pain.

 

 

It is natural to feel deserted and abandoned, but we live in a society that fears anger.

 

Anger is strength and it can be an anchor, giving temporary structure to the nothingness of loss.

 

At first grief feels like being lost at sea: no connection to anything.

 

Then you get angry at someone, maybe a person who didn’t attend the funeral, maybe a person who isn’t around, maybe a person who is different now that your loved one has died.

 

Suddenly you have a structure – – your anger toward them. The anger becomes a bridge over the open sea, a connection from you to them.

 

It is something to hold onto; and a connection made from the strength of anger feels better than nothing.

 

We usually know more about suppressing anger than feeling it.

 

The anger is just another indication of the intensity of your love.
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