Crying: I grew up thinking it showed weakness! Another fallacy

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In my generation, especially being the first born of a narcissistic father, showing emotion, crying, equaled weakness.

 

 

Inside my chronic pain group,  we men felt weak if we cried in front of the others.

 

 

Healing taught me how to cry, how to be humble, and how to be vulnerable.

 

 

 

Who knew this was the path to freedom and healing.

 

 

 

Crying is the gate that allowed my stored trauma, negative emotion to exit.

 

 

 

For me, it was a violent, a loud, an angry departure, when trauma left, integrated.

 

 

 

Healing or Meditation/Mindfulness is not this soft, spiritual, calm journey.

 

 

 

Mine was an internal battle, a decades long war.

 

 

 

The Ego battles our true self for control of our being.  Self or selfless are the options.

 

 

 

My first experience with trauma leaving, felt like my strongest trigger, felt like I was getting worse.

 

 

 

Remember we have blind spots, we have an ego that never feels equal, so focus, let thought clear and emotion exit.

 

 

 

Healing and Meditation are an internal exploration without the Ego’s bias, a journey without goals or judgment.

 

 

 

Where we place our attention holds our most powerful skill, tool, and opportunity.

 

 

 

No other small action dominates how life is felt by us, happy or sad, worthy or completely flawed, peaceful or extremely anxious.

 

 

 

I, me, mine are created, an identity mirage, minuscule in power and size compared to our real self.
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8 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by bethanyk on January 29, 2018 at 4:35 pm

    Thank you for sharing these powerful thoughts. Very helpful. I hold back when I need to let go freely

  2. If we suppress feelings, how will we know our i terror landscape, find wellbeing or limit suffering.

    Our thoughts and judgments sentence us to freedom or suffering.

    Thank you for your gratitude.

  3. Posted by bethanyk on January 29, 2018 at 5:41 pm

    Crying has always been difficult. I need to view it differently. I only suppress one thing, crying. Everything else flows. Will work on this!

  4. We need perspective. If we are healing and emotions are breaking crying is flowing.

    Crying or any emotion, can be felt fully, knowing it intimately, then we let go.

    When we depress, avoid, distract they grow and we suffer.

    I had to learn to be ok with feeling embarrassed with crying, to know it.

  5. Posted by Paging Mrs Zen on January 29, 2018 at 8:33 pm

    I think many of us were raised this way, particularly male children. I also think this archaic idea is dying out more. It’s so ridiculous as crying is so natural. If you think of the opposite to crying, holding it in, denying what you’re feeling, that actually seems self destructive.

    I had a Mindfulness Therapist tell me the other day that crying is a beautiful release and a perfectly natural reaction. Being in the moment and allowing these emotions to pass through me. Really a very healthy thing.

  6. I thought this post would speak to men more. Just like talking about our feelings were frowned upon. Some of us heard, you need to be seen and not heard by parents.

    Emotions are a choice, we can choose to let anger, doubt or worry flow on through.

    My complex PTSD has activated because of a blood pressure medicine. The med drained my energy, exhausting me, as it revved up my nervous system. Then one day an old trigger exploded,

    Now, doing the work, meditating, integrating and improving, has opened me up to share about crying, or how hard the first step is.

    In the past I would never have written about crying.

    We can embrace change and learn to risk.

    I celebrate knowing what was once weakness, loss is now accepted.

    This is a journey we share not compete.

  7. Posted by Paging Mrs Zen on January 31, 2018 at 4:29 am

    I’m so grateful that you are talking about it! Because you can bet others may be having or have had a similar experience. ✌🏼😌

  8. I would never have thought about writing about what I considered weakness. Healing, letting go, releases all that stuck crap, all,those trauma help judgments, all the negative bias, all the unworthiness.

    Healing is not calm, not easy and not predictable.

    It is accumulative, erratic, and incremental.

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