IFS: Qualities of the Self




Let’s continue examining this presence we call the Self.


To clarify this discussion, I find it useful to differentiate between what people report while meditating — while being reabsorbed into the ocean — and what people are like when their Self is actively leading their everyday lives.


If meditation allows immersion into a seemingly Self-less oceanic state, then the Self is a separate wave of that ocean.


It is that oceanic state which seems so difficult to describe. People report feeling as if they have no boundaries, are one with the universe, and lose their identity as a separate being.


This is accompanied by a sense of spaciousness in body and mind, and can be an experience of great contentment, often with moments of bliss.


They often feel a pulsating energy or warmth running through their bodies and may sense a kind of light in or around them.


People encounter different levels and stages as they deepen their meditative practice, which the different esoteric traditions have explored and charted.


Here we are more concerned with what people are like when they bring some of that awareness, spaciousness, and energy to their daily tasks and relationships — again, when they are a wave rather than the ocean.


What qualities do they report and display when they live in the world yet hold the memory of who they really are?


What are the characteristics of Self-leadership? I don’t know the entire answer to that question.


After twenty years of helping people toward that Self-leadership, I can describe what my clients exhibit as they have more of their Self present.


As I sifted through various adjectives to capture my observations, I repeatedly came up with words that begin with the letter C.


So, the eight Cs of self-leadership include: calmness, curiosity, clarity, compassion, confidence, creativity, courage, and connectedness.

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