The only kind of self confidence the ego can achieve is an artificial one, based on shaky factors, said
such as power, success, beauty, physical strength, intellectual brilliance, and the opinions of others–all things that are related to our image.
Genuine self-confidence is something entirely different.
Paradoxically it is a natural quality of the absence of ego.
To dispel the illusion of the ego is to free yourself from a fundamental weakness.
Self-confidence based on non-ego brings a sense of freedom that is not subject to emotional contingencies.
You experience a lack of vulnerability to the judgments of others and an inner acceptance of whatever circumstances may exist.

2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Lincoln on December 10, 2017 at 8:01 am

    I was recently in a situation ( very familiar) where I was triggered by something my partner said – it has taken some time – but for one I was able to observe the shift, not react, called a time- out – realized I was interpreting what was said – which I recognized as being linked to my ‘wound’ – was able to own my ‘defensive internal response’ – I phoned a friend with similar issues and through
    Describing the situation to him and bringing it back to myself in a felt sense , in the moment I was able to access a deep hurt young ‘aspect’ of myself. I was able to converse, Re assure, re- integrate and restore that ‘part’ – I took full responsibility and practiced self love and self acceptance on a level which I have been trying to reach for ages thank to the support and helpful tips and relating to others’ experience on this site especially lately. I felt such a deep sense of rightness, relief in myself
    That evening. I shifted back out of an ego state and place of victim and blame. I was able to avoid further making my partner responsible for me and further rejection. If anyone also related to having a re-occurring experience where certain people cause one to feel helpless and have a real sensation change in the solar plexus area, which I ascribe to my unconscious perpetrator seeking pattern. On some deep level my long term trauma conditioned me to feel ‘ comfortable’ in victim dynamics, although I am a 6.4ft 100kg male with every bit of physical deterrent for being victimized I could never understand why I felt like I had this target on my back, I did, my unconscious was giving permission to be taken advantage of, and certain people took me up on that offer as I would make myself available
    to their ends, it was me who had to ‘check my settings’ and not them, although those individuals showed me my victim dynamic, I also have to stop disassociating through things that alter my mood and feed the dissociation- I have to identify those things. I cannot work if I am out of self, out of the moment, yet this is where I am ‘comfortable’ – I hope someone can use y experience to guide themselves to freedom.

  2. Wow. Congratulations. You are on your way and healing is in full bloom. It is funny that you notice the difference in the blog lately.

    A prescribed med totally exhausted my energy and then ignited my nervous system which in turn started some of my ptsd symptoms. I had stopped sitting as much and did not repeat my affirmations. So my search for my own calm has brought my blog new energy and skills.

    Awareness and acceptance. You have practice and applied these tools well. Where we place our attention decides more about our day to day existence than any other behavior.

    Wow that is beautiful to read, your journey.

    We have the ability to check our settings to know that thoughts, judgments and emotions are appendages not our true core.

    We are perfect as our true self. I hope others will read your response and know healing, improving, is possible

    Thank you for this response and your gratitude.

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