Living with your Heart Wide Open: Cultivating Self-Compassion

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Self-compassion entails softening around the heart and giving yourself a break from self-judgment with kindness and caring.
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Understand that criticizing yourself (or others) is a source of suffering and is an entirely optional activity of the thinking mind.
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It may not seem like it at this time, but as you travel the path of mindfulness and self-compassion, you’ll eventually discover that there is much more right with you than there is wrong.
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Sometimes we can find what’s right and wholesome and worthwhile within us only after we’ve opened to and allowed ourselves to feel the pain we’ve been avoiding.
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The site of a wound is eventually the place of healing, and the way a heart mends is no less wondrous than the way a skinned knee mends.
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If you attend your wounded heart with compassion, the healing will tend to itself.
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If you attend your wounded heart with negative judgment, it will stoke the flames of suffering.
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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Damakini on May 20, 2017 at 7:03 pm

    This is all good advice. While I consider myself a Buddhist, as a CPTSD survivor, I have had a bit of trouble with certain interpretations of other Buddhist principles, including the idea that anger is an evil to be purged, and that we must be open-hearted and compassionate to others at all times.
    Anger is a useful form of emotional energy; it can let us know when we need to be more self-compassionate and self-protective. This is particularly true for women, who have been told for generations we have no right to be angry. There are times when it’s appropriate to set boundaries with others – as in when they have been abusive or create more trauma or drama. If all else fails, this may involve expressing anger and putting self-compassion above someone else’s feelings.
    I would hope that counselors and writers who specialize in trauma and recovery would remember these points if adopting a Buddhist approach. It’s very challenging for Western Buddhists to recover fully if they cannot protect themselves emotionally or cannot express the full range of human feelings…

  2. Thank you very inciteful

    I believe with practice anger or most emotions become a choice

    If I am in a situation that my anger will help protect me then use it

    We use anger when it is not needed many times over

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