5 Things A Narcissist Never Does By Peg Streep


1. He won’t own his feelings
Projection is the name of the game and he’s an expert at what Dr. Malkin calls “emotional hot potato” or ascribing his feelings to you. Current thinking is that the narcissist is highly motivated to look away and cover up the emotional wounds of his own childhood and pushing off from emotions and denying them at every turn are his go-to and tried-and-true strategies. That’s why in an argument, when you see his jaw muscles working, his gaze steely and his arms folded tight across his chest—all familiar signs of exactly how frosted he is in the moment—he’ll turn to you and ask, “Why are you always so angry?”
2.He won’t take responsibility

The narcissist is the ultimate Teflon king—nothing is ever his fault. Under fire, he convinces himself that he’s the one who’s been wronged, no matter what the circumstances. As Dr. Burgo notes, he is utterly convinced of this truth so, from his vantage point, there’s no reason for him to take responsibility because it’s your fault to begin with. He also believes he has an exclusive view of what constitutes “truth.”
3. He won’t stop playing games
Or better put, he can’t. The narcissist loves the rush he gets from feeling powerful in a relationship and manipulating you and playing games are the best ways he knows to feel great. He needs you but not in the way you think and he “cares” about you but his feelings have little to do with you. See number 4.
4. He doesn’t connect emotionally
Connection for the narcissist is self-referential and never dyadic. Even though he may be sexually accomplished, for example, and capable of gestures that seem nice or caring, it’s all about him, and maintaining his own sense of himself. It’s not about you.
5. He won’t concede a fight

Winning means everything to the narcissist, along with upholding his “truth.” It’s in conflict that the narcissist is truly revealed, especially in a divorce as I learned firsthand. Because he is so responsive to slights of any kind and totally focused on defending and maintaining his sense of himself, any conflict which threatens him will bring out his true colors. There are no holds barred when you’re divorcing a narcissist—he has to win at any cost—and he’ll lie and do whatever he can to make sure he comes out whole. Forget negotiating or reaching a middle ground; it’s never going happen.

4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Jennifer on December 30, 2016 at 3:21 am

    Chilling. scarey.

  2. Posted by Jennifer on December 30, 2016 at 3:41 am

    Polar opposite? Altiurism.Detrimental Caretaker. This is me. Both are extreme. not healthy. Balance please.

  3. Posted by Paging Mrs Zen on January 17, 2017 at 10:01 pm

    Why do I get the feeling that you’re describing a soon to be leader of a large nation?!? 😳

  4. Many a lawyer or politician could be a little Egotistical

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: