In Touch: How to Tune In to the Inner Guidance of Your Body and Trust Yourself by John J. Prendergast PhD (Author), Attachment!

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Pollen on Geranium Stigma
Photograph by Martin Oeggerli
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The research on attachment theory clearly shows how important being attuned to by others is in attuning with ourselves.
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We first discover ourselves through the connection with and subtle mirroring of others.
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When we are listened to, we learn to listen to ourselves.
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When we are felt, we learn to recognize and value our feelings.
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When this attunement is absent or lacking, we become a stranger to ourselves, distant by degrees from our own direct experience.
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If our core needs and feelings are ignored or devalued, we learn to suppress them.
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It is simply too painful and unsettling to stay open.
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One result is that we stop feeling and sensing the interior of our bodies.
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Our deeper sensitivity is buried for safekeeping and then forgotten.
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This creates a barrier to our inner knowing.
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One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Jennifer on February 26, 2016 at 3:18 pm

    “Core needs” – Maslow. But to stay open is to live – not to “bury deeper sensitivity, for safekeeping”. Building walls will not result in happiness but cause suffering.

    Think of song, Simon and Garfunkle ” I am a rock, I am an island. And a rock feels no pain, And an island never cries”.

    Not a way to live in the moment, stay present. But to hide. No joy in this.

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