Irreverence is the path I choose at times now!

image.
.
.
Growing up in a container of violence, criticism and control, I struggled for identity, self worth.
.
Trying to blend in, trying to be, or even act normal, was a constant desire.
.
Overachieving was my vehicle for inflating my self worth.
.
Accomplishments, titles, awards were pursued and collected in place of self worth and happiness.
.
I always tried to fit in, tried to avoid being the target of ridicule as a child, then as an adult.
.
I felt damaged to my core, unworthy without the possibility of redemption and happiness.
.
My father’s abuse actually suppressed my true personality, extrovert became introvert for almost 60 years.
.
I finally healed and a pure extrovert emerged.
.
In a store the other day, I purchased the LOUDEST, BRIGHTEST, UGLIEST looking T-shirt I could find. Fluorescent actually.
.
I realized that I need not project anything to others or the world to be happy or fulfilled.
.
All healing and happiness originates inside, the ego’s domain is the external.
.
Sit today, focus, let go, discover the real you, he/she is perfect, like the rest of us.
.
.
.

2 responses to this post.

  1. Go for it!

  2. When we finally are free of those who had us under control, abusing us, telling us we were not worthwhile it is liberating to do those things we were unable to do freely without fear. Sometimes though, as in my case, it takes a while until we no longer look over our shoulder, no longer live in a fear that can not be explained adequately to anyone but another survivor. The conflict of loving the one causing us to suffer is tremendously stressful if not damaging.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: