First chapter of my book : finally I have moved past my sticking point..

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Acceptance: the cessation of judgment!
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Acceptance is where the well of freedom, healing and happiness springs forth. Awareness is the only condition that prempts acceptance. We must be aware of now to use acceptance. Our external pursuits to find healing, happiness and peace of mind boomerang into suffering, loss and resentment.
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It is the incessant chatter that we first create, then buy into, that occupies our entire waking life. To have a chance at healing or happiness, we need to create an empty space in the mind, void of thought, judgment and emotion. Acceptance is the door beyond personal achievement, fulfilled desire and fleeting satisfaction. These pursuits are impermanent, shallow, and ultimately hollow.
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Healing is difficult when we entertain the idea that some achievement, some gain, some status, job, career or possession can bring happiness. If you believe happiness is external, something to be gained or achieved, happy will always be a stranger to you.
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Acceptance is the release of believing fulfilled desires, achieving external accomplishment, leads to healing or happiness. Any achievement will not bring lasting happiness, only impermanent emotional joy.
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Our personal gain, achievement may lead to more suffering. Once a goal is achieved, a great promotion, a new car, sparkling jewels, we need to protect them as possessions. The rich man builds tall fences, employs elaborate alarm systems and worries someone may steal his stuff. That job title now is coveted by many younger associates, it bedomes a chore fending off competitors. That lovely marriage has ended in bitter divorce. Once believed the happiest moment, is now a total nightmare.
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Acceptance releases us from the responsibility of external achievement, failure, or results formed by the judgments we postulate about us and them. Again, we must create some empty space, void of judgment, thought, worry and doubt to pursue healing and happiness.
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Accept your flaws first. Yes, we have many perceptions, however we are perfect as our true self, our spirit.
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Life is about the journey, the application of effort and action in the face of distraction, doubt, worry, and fear. Acceptance makes this possible. Acceptance then, is the vehicle that we use to navigate below the ego (conscience mind).
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Internally, if I have surrendered (accepted), relinquished the pursuit of desires as a source of gaining happiness, an empty space of being totally present appears.
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The first hurdle: Accept being vulnerable. Accept all your flaws. Affirmations support accepting us as worthy, complete, perfect. Our chalice overflows with being worthy, we just can not see it or know it yet. All memory can flow through the glasses of self worth, self image. A slightly positive or neutral memory will be read as negative with an unworthy ā€œIā€. Daily affirmations, repeated out loud to engage more of the mind will change this.
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Second hurdle:
It is similar to us going to school, where a bully awaits. We need to handle this situation for our school experience to be positive. We need to let go of all those bully judgments we have sentenced our spirit to carry. We have to endure the stressful, the fearful, the core of our distress in this moment: Be it anxiety, PTSD, unworthiness or depression, accepting gives us a chance at healing and happy.
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We must endure the scary in our life, accept and then take action.
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True acceptance drives the ego underground, exposing this moment in its brilliance for a change. It is the perfect environment to integrate, deepen and live fully.
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Let us compare acceptance with some other ideas.
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Acceptance is not in the past
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Acceptance is not in the future
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Acceptance is not desire.
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Acceptance is not resentment.
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Acceptance is not want.
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Acceptance is not cognitive.
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Acceptance is not owning
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Acceptance is not worrying
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Acceptance is not emotional.
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Acceptance is not labor intense.
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Acceptance is not complex.
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Acceptance is not control.
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Acceptance is not egocentric.
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Acceptance is not thinking.
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Acceptance is not judging.
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On this journey of life, being vulnerable, is a natural part of life, a part we must play to reach the other side. We are vulnerable no matter what judgment we insert to change this fact.
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We are flawed, not perfect, not meant to pursue a perfect life. Flaws abound inside me, but unworthy has left the building, happiness (peace of mind) has taken his place. Results are not our responsibility, effort is our task.
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While working with someone who always used a derogatory, self debasing comment about himself, nothing big, just an under your breath criticism, I found progress stalled. After weeks of imploring him to drop any negative thought, refraining from any verbal negativity, he agreed to comply.
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The next day a shift had occurred, all his oars were now rowing in the same direction. This slight shift released the last remnants of shame, allowing him to empty his mind of judgment finally.
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Acceptance eviserates judgment quickly with practice and application. Small investments in time, blossom in grandeur over a couple of months.
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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Jim Doyle on November 8, 2014 at 6:43 pm

    Hi Marty,
    For first time in life,have just seen division between ego and ‘I’. This is very
    scary as have used ego’s procedures for ‘self-protection’. Paradoxically, the ego’s
    methods have caused me great physical pain with muscle-tension in back of neck.
    So, I am at crossroads and unsure of next step. Have always relied on ego to rise up
    for protection,afraid to let go and trust wiser self. This is tough bloody stuff I tell you!

  2. You can focus on the breath, then take a step back, separate from the storyline, Jim, go to the back of the neck. Realize this is where trauma manifests itself in your body. This body sensation can not harm you.

    Bring your breath to this area and breathe into it. Let go.

    By letting go of the storyline, aka ego for a minute we can see the landscape without the bias. The ego can bring thoughts forward, and we can also let them fade helplessly.

    When you feel the tension breathe, try inhaling for a four count, exhaling with pursed moth for an eight count.

    It is ok to feel awkward, vulnerable.

    It is in accepting what is happening g at the time. Some of these fears are irrational Jim, and staying present with focus and detachment will zap their power.

    You are the most protected when the ego is down and you are making decisions intuitively not cognitively

    Trust the force Jim, it is you.

    The ego is for us to use as an IDE tiny tool or maybe to re.ish in ourosirice emotions and vacate negative ones.

    We have the power to place put attention on the ego, past, future or we can be here, this present moment, empty not worrying but experiencing this fabulOus view, life.

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