“Happiness”: Personal Characteristics

And yet “emotional intelligence” significantly differentiates happy people from unhappy ones. This concept, coined and described by Peter Salowey and introduced to the general public by Daniel Goleman, is defined as the ability to correctly perceive and take account of other people’s feelings.


It is also the ability clearly and quickly to identify our own emotions.
According to K. Magnus and his colleagues, happiness goes hand in hand with the capacity to assert oneself with extroversion and empathy—happy people are generally open to the world.

They believe that an individual can exert control over herself and her life, while unhappy people tend to believe themselves to be destiny’s playthings. It would seem that the more an individual is capable of controlling her environment, the happier she is.


It is interesting to note that in everyday life, extroverts experience more positive events than introverts, and neurotics have more negative experiences than stable people.


A person may be on a “streak” of bad luck or feel herself to be a magnet for problems, but it is important to keep in mind that it is ultimately our own disposition—extroverted or neurotic, optimistic or pessimistic, self-centered or altruistic—that impels us into the same situation again and again.


An open-minded person is more skilled at battling through difficult circumstances, whereas someone who is ill at ease feels increased anxiety that is usually reflected in affective and familial issues and social failure.


A spiritual dimension, whether religious or not, helps us to set goals in life and promotes human values, charity, generosity, and openness—all factors that bring us closer to happiness than to misery.


It helps us to spurn the cynical idea that there is no direction to follow, that life is nothing but a self-centered struggle under the battle cry “Every man for himself.”

It is easy to imagine a priori how health might have a powerful influence on happiness and how hard it would be to be happy if we were stricken by a serious illness and confined to a hospital. But that turns out not to be the case, and even in such circumstances we soon return to the level of happiness we enjoyed before falling sick. Studies of cancer patients have found that their happiness quotient is barely lower than that of the rest of the population.

I want to Heal……………… I want to be Happy!



I want to heal.

I want to improve.


I want to increase my well-being.


I want inner peace.


I want to be happy.


Do we say, I want to suffer.



We may not say it, but we sure behave in ways that bring suffering.


We need to bring awareness to our behavior.


If we want to be happy, we need to behave in a certain way.


For a start, never entertain a negative thought or say anything negative about ourselves.


Second let go of negative emotions. They receive no air time in our life.


Third, smile, you’re changing.

Can you take a step back, can you observe the thinker, the “Angry” you!!!!!

Can you focus when you become angry?


Can you take a step back and observe the one who is angry?


You will observe our creation, our “Ego”, feeling unworthy or mistreated.


Who craves approval?   Same answer “Ego”.


The one who needs to think is different from the one who observes.

When I focus intently, letting thought go, an impartial observer, a faithful guide appears for me.


This observer does not judge or use any words.


He/She uses intuition and gut feelings.


He/She does not judge or think, but exists in focused awareness of our environment.



Some call this our soul, or spirit, or intuitive guide, or expansive right hemisphere.



Introduce yourself, this observer is our only conduit to happiness!


That thinker will not lead you to happiness.

PTSD is not an all-powerful disorder, something to fear and avoid.

PTSD is finite and has weaknesses. Glaring weaknesses that I found while sitting quietly observing trauma with intense focus.


PTSD has a fatal flaw, it can not play defense!


When PTSD is at its apex of power, our fight or flight mechanism firing violently, cortisol and adrenaline dumped into our bloodstream, it is also at its weakest!


I explored my trauma while meditating and found no damage after a trigger exploded. When my nervous system slowly calmed down, I was fine. Yes the chemicals were real, the feeling of real fear was intense but their was no damage to my being.



This built my confidence each time, finally having the courage to stay present with the body sensations, intently focused on my breath.


PTSD was a past tense bluff, a mirage of real danger. My father, my abuser was long deceased, so he was not going to appear and damage me.


Take away the chemicals being dumped along with all the physical changes preparing us for a lethal threat and all that exists are our stored thoughts and fears, nothing real.



We fear our own defense mechanism firing along with our trauma memory.


We need to react, avoid or dissociate when our fight or flight mechanism fires or it loses power.


Trust me, I have lived this and repeatedly stayed present as my C-PTSD erupted violently. Each time we stay present PTSD loses power.


Examine your triggers, follow them back to the source, memories of past terror, thoughts are all that exists, nothing more.


Takes practice while things are calm to be able to stay present when PTSD fires violently.


Start today with 15 minutes of mindfulness practice.

If you have PTSD, Can you be happy?

Knowing 22 vets commit suicide everyday from PTSD, happiness seems impossible.


All depends on where we place our attention. I wonder how many civilian suicides are caused by PTSD and depression. Depression will visit you often when you have PTSD.


If we dissociate, avoid and react to our hyper-vigilance we will suffer.


Terror not joy will be our companion.


My trauma was more hard-wired since it happened throughout my entire childhood, my brain (mind) had not developed.


Even with this resistant form of PTSD, I have found happiness in many things.


No life is not easy, I have times when my PTSD activates.


PTSD does not take away my happiness.  It does bring challenges and many thoughts to my doorstep.   I have learned thoughts are powerless, emotions are fleeting, transparent and ephemeral, from reading and mindfulness practice.


I know the shame that haunted me for so long is a mirage, an invention of traumas desire to control my being.  




PTSD is not an all-powerful disorder, something to fear and avoid.  It is finite and has weaknesses.



We have to move, take action, resist with incredible courage to beat PTSD. It is not easy.


So few take daily action, start an everyday practice with enthusiasm.


We need to sit alone with our trauma and face it, then let it pass on by.


A mind with inner peace does not need footprints in the snow, to venture out.



Make those fresh footsteps towards happiness today.

The Swiss Cheese Therapy

I have posted about this funny therapy before.



The Swiss Cheese therapy is a thought diet. We let all thought pass through the holes.



With 60,000 thoughts a day crossing our path we need a relief valve. Thoughts have no impact if we let them pass on through.



This frees up many hours each day.



Doubt and worry can not gain a foothold.



All of a sudden, opportunity appears right there in front of us.


Thoughts are like air without our attention, transparent with little impact.


We can trade constant thought for just being present, focused and aware.


Sounds to simple!

Happiness: An Irresistible Pursuit from “The Undefeated Mind”

We actually have as little choice about wanting to become happy as the heart does about pumping blood. We’re incapable of wanting not to become happy. The pursuit of happiness isn’t merely an inalienable right with which we’re endowed or an activity we’re capable of choosing; it’s psychological law we must obey.


Even people who appear to want nothing to do with happiness, like those so immersed in self-hatred that their principle aim becomes self-sabotage, will say they haven’t lost their desire for happiness so much as ceased to believe they deserve it.


Similarly, people suffering from severe depression who seek their own destruction typically do so only to escape the pain they’re feeling, not because they no longer want to be happy.



They may no longer believe they can be happy and therefore stop behaving as if they want to be, but that’s because depression often leads to a state of learned helplessness (once convinced that happiness is no longer possible, continuing to take action toward it becomes next to impossible).


Just as the heart’s function continues to be the pumping of blood even when it starts to fail, our minds aim toward happiness even when they appear to stop seeking it or even wanting it.



Whether we want this to be true or even realize it is makes no difference. Like the heart, our minds are built a certain way to perform a certain function we can’t change, one that by virtue of our sentience and self-awareness we just happen to be able to perceive.


But if happiness is indeed our primary function, why is it so difficult to achieve?



Perhaps for at least two reasons. First, because merely desiring happiness more than anything else doesn’t itself teach us how to achieve it.



And as we’re all capable of believing things without evidence, many of our beliefs about what makes us happy will simply turn out to be wrong. How many of us, for example, consider happiness to lie in the unmitigated pursuit of pleasure?



Certainly pleasure plays an important role in contributing to happiness, but to appreciate how an existence can be overflowing with pleasure and still be miserable we only need look at people for whom certain pleasures (sex, gambling, drugs, and so on) send all other considerations spinning off into the distance and often cause the collapse of the very lives they delight.



Further, too much pleasure can be paradoxically unpleasant (a few jelly beans are delicious, but too many make us sick), something happiness, by definition, can never be.


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