Posts Tagged ‘control’

Control, we invest so much energy, life force without knowing the extent we practice controlling!!!!!!


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Control engages the cognitive aspects of the mind, exerting effort to impact a person or a situation.
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Control or our effort to control is not easily spotted by us, shrouded in subtle opinions and judgments.
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Acceptance, the opposite of control, is not employed without considerable practice and application.
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Control is such a delusional waste of time and energy for us.
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Control narrows our life, builds barriers closing off living fully, openly.
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We all do not know what is around the bend, the unknown, but control has no influence on the unknown, or everyday life.
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Control, artificial control has a negative impact on our being, our living fully, our being present in this moment.
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Sit quietly and discover the fear behind the supposed effort to control.
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fear forces us to judge, to give an opinion, to justify our behavior of avoidance, separation and dissociation.
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Fear lurks below our control.
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When we are calm, relaxed, collected, control is not needed or thought about.
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Think about it and observe the limitations control brings to our living life fully.
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Real happiness is not found controlling anything, especially our mind.
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Control feels safe, a delusional numbness to life!!


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We travel through life building control of our life. We chase and sacrifice for career, money, or status to elevate and protect ourselves. We desire nicer neighborhoods, better schools, safer environments for us and our family.
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I am not saying any of this is bad, just not the control, we think we have constructed around us. Cancer or tragedy can happen anytime, anywhere. It is a fact!
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Place more emphasis on this moment, an awareness that all of life is contained in this second. Then life moves on to the next moment.
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Take more risks, reach farther out of your comfort zone, live fully, now.
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Be bold, trusting yourself, living with worry and fear in the background.
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Much is possible with daily practice and some courage.
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Change your life, expand your perimeter, search out uncomfortable and observe it. Get to know it, become familiar with it.
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Desire! Is it linked to Ego?…… Absolutely!!!!!!!


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When we desire, the ego is alert, conscious and in control or influencing where our attention goes. The “I” is always needy, feeling not good enough in many situations, so we desire to be safe, secure and in control.
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Control is an illusion. Please control your health, your child’s health. Impossible. Control is an illusion, a non existent desire we chase.
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The only control we possess is our attitude and effort in this very second. That is it, period!!!!!!
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How much time and resources do we devote to controlling thoughts, ideas and actions. Has any of that brought happiness or permanence.
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No, it has not. Things I desired and obtained in mid life, are not important now. Life has changed and so have desires.
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Place all effort on being present, in this second, rather than control, a desire to know what is around the bend.
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The river of life bends around corners all the time. We will never know what is around the next one.
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Why do we waste time trying to control this uncontrollable part of everyone’s life?
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Be here, now and experience all that is before you, sight, sound, smell, taste and speech, music etc.
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It is all that there is to life.
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Control is an Ego driven Pursuit,;–It leads to Suffering!!!!!!

Jan Breughel the Elder

Control demands planning of stimulus regulation and exposure. We must protect ourselves, avoid certain dangers, and navigate the unknown constantly.
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The cognitive dominates all available time, limiting life and happiness. Spend more time controlling and suffer.
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Control needs cognitive planning, thought and appropriate action for success, appearing real or worthwhile. The ego rules our consciousness, directing our being and stealing real life from us.
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Living does not happen when control is our leader. We experience such a little slice of life in this space.
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Control limits and confines experience, happiness, freedom and being human. We invent control, it is not a natural way of living, rather an artificial mirage we create as real.
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Goodness, Who wants control, life would be boring!!!!

Jan Breughel the Elder

Control is something I had to relinquish to be able to heal. My perception that I influenced all this control over my life crumbled with my mindfulness practice.
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Acceptance is the counterbalance for control. Accept life as it is and you along with it and life comes alive. living becomes a moment to moment adventure of opportunity.
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My supposed control made me miserable, closing off many parts of life. Control is a prison for PTSD sufferers.
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Accept yourself, life, the exterior stimulus as impersonal, not caring one way or another about our attitude or lack of attitude. Life does not care a damn about us or our neighbor.
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If you believe you need control, please go to the street and stop the next car with thought. See how much control your thoughts possess. it is delusion, illusion or a mirage, you pick.
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Updated:____Want to Heal?………Relinguish Control: ……………Can We Really let go and Live?!

Vasily Ivanovich (Surikov) 1848-1916)↓

Believing we are in control of life,  is a delusion, costing many with PTSD, their mental wellness or suffering.

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Complex PTSD humbled me, and my ego reacted with resentment, without taking responsibility.

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If you think you control the path to healing, how will you ever heal?

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Our effort and attitude is what we control.

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Try to control cancer or the Japanese tsunami.  Some of the Japanese died in their homes, supposedly safe and secure!

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Maybe it is a waste of time pursuing this ego driven search.

Control Me Syndrone: C-PTSD Characteristics!!!

“Control-Me” Syndrome - “Control-Me” Syndrome describes a tendency that some people have to foster relationships with people who have a controlling narcissistic, antisocial or “acting-out” nature.

Description:

Some people just feel more comfortable when they give the responsibility for making decisions to others.

It’s sometimes tempting to allow others to make decisions for us. We are apt to do this when:

  • Wwe feel less successful than others,
  • We feel less capable than others,
  • Others project an air of confidence or authority,
  • Others appear more successful than us,
  • We are humiliated by past mistakes, or
  • We fear the humiliation of making new mistakes.

Taking a passive “control-me” approach is a dangerous strategy for a number of reasons:

  • Other people make mistakes.
  • Certain people with personality disorders, including narcissists, controllers and other people who “act-out” are often attracted to “Control-Me” personalities.
  • Adopting a passive approach to decision making often leads to a passive-aggressive attitude towards problem solving.

It is also important to realize that when you give control over decision making to another, you have not really given up control so much as you have chosen to delegate control to another. This means that you are somewhat responsible for the outcome.

Examples of “Control Me” Syndrome

  • A woman tends to get into relationships with men who will tell her what to do.
  • A man will not leave an abusive relationship unless someone he regards as an authority figure gives him permission to do it.
  • A young woman is relieved to move out and escape from her abusive home, immediately gets involved with an abusive boyfriend.

People who go through life with a “control me” strategy typically find themselves disappointed with the results as they stagger from one dysfunctional relationship to the next. They may find themselves repeatedly in abusive situations or trapped in relationships that do not serve their best interests. They often hook up with people who have a “Control-You” syndrome.

C-PTSD:..Control;….Yes! I tried that way!!!……..Control Failed Miserably!!!

Anneli Wiberg

The amount of energy we expend trying to control life, outcomes or others astounds me, now.  Life has suffering and we die?  Now that clock is ticking whether we have anxiety, avoidance, fear or joy.

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No one has lived forever, so we as humans cognitively manipulate this reality. We judge life as difficult however life does have an emotional slant.  Life does not care.   We believe that isolating us with safety precautions protects us.  Gated  neighborhood, alarm system, private schools, etc. can not prevent health issues, natural disasters or death.
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Life just is and challenges are an everyday part of life.  Happiness is not the absence of challenges or hardships.  Life is to be experienced without doubt and worry to suppress our effort.
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Accept everything that happens, today. It is as it should be. Do not judge your food, emotions or people today.  See what it feels like to be free!!!!!
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Relinquish judging for a day and accept whatever happens.  It can not touch your true self.  Relax and trust you.

Surrender and Heal:…Let go of that Control!!!!!,

Anneli Wiberg

The painting is done by Anneli herself.

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Surrender to the thoughts, stop fighting, let go.  Control is a fallacy we entertain and practice cognitively.

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We believe if we control our behavior, places and people we frequent, then triggers will disappear.  How do we control?

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We judge things, people and situations instead of letting these things go.  Control feeds avoidance behavior!  The ego convinces us that avoiding triggers and life will shield us from suffering or PTSD.

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The opposite is true, in fact.  I fought till agoraphobia and fear isolated me inside my house.  All my effort to control my thoughts, my behavior and my world made everything worse.  *

In the end, I learned to surrender to my thoughts and fear.  Healing followed slowly after daily practice.  Simple, specific, daily practice on the breathing track improves our mental wellbeing dramatically.

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Control and Fear: Connected or not??????

Surikov, Vasily Ivanovich (1848-1916

When I exerted control, expectations were everywhere.  People were supposed to act a certain way, respecting the values deemed important to me.  My supposed  control granted me power to be upset, demanding, angry and disrespectful to others.

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Why?

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We have no control that is why!!!!!!!

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When we do not fear,  control is absent from our life.  Is there a connection????

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Absolutely, being present empty of thought has great powers for the mind.  Words I write can not describe them accurately.

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