C PTSD – A Way Out A place to check in daily

Healing has so many avenues, so many different therapies, so many confusing symptoms, ideas and mind functions, that navigating toward the best solution seems daunting.  I have faced this dilemma, wasted my time, got lost, using the hit and miss method.

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Each therapist will have a different way, depending on their schooling, life experience and personal beliefs and successes.  Nothing is standardized except maybe the DSM manual for insurance purposes.  No statistics can I find, that say this works better, or this combination is best.  There is no effort to even educate what we can do, to just be mentally healthy.

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I have tried EFT, TFT, EMDR, hypnosis, cranial sacral, acupuncture, CBT, ACT, EDIT, holistic, two intuitives etc.  Everyone except a proctologist and maybe that would have helped.  Maybe I should have tried a comedian.

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My long journey educated me on what works, what is available and all the gaps facing us.  When you discover that you have PTSD, it can be months of trying to figure out what it is and what to do.  The symptoms can keep us from seeking help.

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This is how my specific program developed, as I was healing, and then as I was obsessed with finding a better way out. My evaluation included the latest brain science, the cutting edge therapies, the exploration of survivor traits, the mindfulness (meditation) connection, the lack of focus on the body (exercise), the absence of daily support, and the never mentioned urgency that was missing entirely.

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My goal was to assemble just the needed parts, that would lets us focus increased effort and pressure upon our disorder.  I found out that PTSD falters when attacked with quiet focus using the breathing track.  I found that thinking, freezing or engaging in anything negative towards us or our self worth was detrimental.

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So here goes with my simple plan.  Let me preface with a few major ideas we will adopt going forward.  Failure is impossible.  We are responsible for one thing, our total effort.  Results are far beyond our control and miles above our pay grade.  We have plenty to stop worrying about without adding thoughts about past things.

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From Rick Hanson in his game changing book Buddhas Brain, proves we construct the ego out of random past memories, woven into a believable narrative.  The question of “Who am I” has no subject.  We make the person so we have identity, not to serve him/her.  The ego is not who we are.  The ego in comparison to the mind is similar to a golf ball floating in a swimming pool.  We are perfect without anyones approval or disapproval.  Words, thoughts or ideas, even actions do not change this fact.  Our self worth is untouchable, we are perfect all of us.

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The power of our organism is the true self.  Thoughts do not have any power.  The adrenal stress response or the fight or flight mechanism supplies the drugs that we feel exploding.  The large jolt that rocks our world from time to time is cortisol mixed with adrenaline a pain killer and increased respiratory, BP heart rate escalations of defense or offenses.  No defenses for us, we avoid and dissociate not attack.

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So know that the, feeling that the thoughts have this massive fear power is delusion.  My thoughts are still here, my triggers also visit me.  No cortisol is activated now, in fact good food desires make me more anxious than my childhood.

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Okay, here we go.  First, let us correct our self talk.  I did not realize the power this has.  Alex, would have this small little snide put down of himself, when he would leave.  Finally, he agreed to drop that negative hit on himself.  It was immediate, the next day, something had shifted.  For the first time, the whole mind body had all the oars in the water, as a complete unit.  He stopped going sideways and his practice blossomed from there.  Hand and hand with the terminating of negative self talk or entertaining any negative idea or dreams, we add affirmations.

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Daily short recitals of positive supportive affirmations felt strange, uncomfortable for me.  I did not believe these glowing things about myself.  I felt like an ass doing this, but healing was a million times the desire for me, so I recorded mine.  Was easier to play them back.  In time, I somehow started to believe some of those damn things.  I was amazed.  That computer left brain could be programmed, maybe it feels awkward but undeniable it had worked.

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Next we roll out our air craft carrier of defense.  The Breathing Track will develop focus which we will apply where trauma is the most powerful and the most vulnerable.  Exactly when we have feared the most and tried to get away the quickest, it is this space that we now practice to go towards, not avoid or away from.

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I get an image of the firemen in the twin towers on 9/11 going up the stairs as people like you and me fled in terror for our life.  We do not have to be like this however we must go towards our triggers, so we can observe them and see they are delusions.
The breathing track will accommodate us on our journey to our inner world.  We will spike our self worth with the soothing nature, a steady mind has to offer.  We are not overcoming anything, we are letting go.  The breathing Track will make this possible, trust me.  If you want to heal, practice this with all your might daily.

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Make some time and sit for 10 minutes twice a day at first.  Then practice briefly during the day.  When thoughts are around try to ride the breathing track.

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Thoughts are impermanent as is trauma and complex PTSD.  We need to let the body also know this.  Thoughts have no real power and exist only in our heads.  No one else can really know the contents of our amygdala, which summon the fear we avoid.  We will learn these mechanisms are just our own body, trying to support and defend us by bringing all of our capabilities forward for us.

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Our nervous system is just disordered for now.  Trauma has stolen the remote for our amygdala for now.  That is not permanent but it takes action by us to repair the mistake.
Now, therapist or scientist have not made the connection between competitive sports and achievement for the whole mind body.  Exercise is recommended as exercise helps.  The body can move the mind when the mind is frozen with terror from cortisol levels and the constant threat of doom, danger.

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I have lived through times, shivering in my dark garage for days that my mind was my enemy, my body was all I could depend on.  Thought I could be mad but I could still go out and press my endurance past wanting to stop.  This always brought a rush to me, exhilarating plus the cortisol was diminished for a while.

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Later, my thoughts went to maximize this ability that I had from professional sports.  I would walk with my chronic pain and injuries until my ego, body wanted to quit, take it easy, retire.  My ego would bring all sorts of justifications that would have sufficed without my willpower, I had built all my life.  I always say, use your strengths, adapt what you learn to your strengths.

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When my body wanted to stop, my music would be turned up and I would lock onto that music, my pain and a little trick of focusing only on my right arm as it crosses my left knee in stride.

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A simple fine focus point of linking a loud beat in the music I choose, to a part of my walking stride.  Every time the drum beats in certain songs, my right arm is with that knee.  This is all that exists, we are focused with our physical aerobic qualities of exercise building.

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Now we place our trauma as opponent, enemy or whatever and walk or whatever your choice of exercise.  The trauma thoughts are trying to make you stop.  You keep going by your focus and concentration.  This will give your mind and body achievement.  You have proven to yourself, you can move, well, you can exert and be strong even when trauma is around.  The mind gets to have success and accomplishment, maybe for the first time with PTSD.

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You have moved while it was present, now expand this.  Exercise, aerobic exercise can move us when all else is not working.

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Checking for progress could be done maybe every two weeks as we want to harbor no goals, but do the work everyday, rain or shine.  Build your ability to focus on the breathing track.
Now let’s talk about what this is not.  It eliminates many things and concentrates on the symptom of dissociation, that is leaving this moment to engage in thoughts about the past or worry about the future.

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This is how trauma spends time in our consciousness, fuels itself and revs up more ideas to ponder.  This is like an alcoholic in a bar for us.  Stay present, be aware of each second.  It is tiring at first, but gets easier, then it becomes habit.  You can practice this plan, easily, everyday without thought.

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All other symptoms will fade when this one is dealt with.  Any other therapy will easily compliment your dedication and effort you are putting forth.  It takes action to heal, mostly mental but as much aerobic as you can add helps.

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Go for it, I m here to answer any questions?
Marty