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Back to basics, new stickers of the breathing track model…..


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Always begin at the bottom right (the dot).
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Inhale…….
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Pause.. (hold)….
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Exhale…..
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Pause.. (Hold)
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Repeat, slowing down each time.
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Our goal is to find where the body feels most comfortable with the speed and length of the inhales and exhales, then the length of the pauses.
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If we find this cadence along with the ability to let go, emptying the mind, a door below the ego, consciousness will open for us.
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Very simple, no thought is the goal and it happens with our parasympathetic nervous system in charge, our brakes, activated through the breath.
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We can always add complex items or situations to our model later, after healing and deepening.
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Master the simple first, then the rest will become available.
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Do the work, as in build it and they will come.
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An accumulation of daily actions has synergistically altered my life………..

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Sitting quietly, five hours a day for a duration of five years, changed my mind, molding new neural pathways, using the plasticity to change self image to full, to change self worth to overflowing.
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First, my relationship with fear changed, staying present during triggers, fear lost is scary feature, it became a friend.
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Second, thoughts brought forward now, were not grasped, but let go, fading without attention, gradually training my mind to be empty with a slow balance breath.
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These changes left a void, large swaths of time that existed in the past as mindless rumination and inquiry, filled with negative emotions and storyline.
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The trigger moment, the most frightening time with PTSD, had been altered, because my breath slowed my mind, activating the parasympathetic nervous system, applying the brakes, creating the space to let go and be present.
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When this became habit my life was never the same again.
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All I do is try to let thought be, let judgment go, release emotion easily and focus on being present, in this moment I can enjoy life fully.
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Mindfulness is a learned skill, a habit changing daily practice, an action that trains the mind to be empty, be comfortable with empty, then visually explore all that is before us.
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The rest our intuitive guide will point the way, like a scout for a wagon train in the old west.
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Many have walked this path (Zen Buddhists) leaving a roadmap to happiness, it is a road below our cognitive prison (ego), below judgment, below emotions, below worry, doubt and resentment.
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A learned skill has more power than anything you will ever touch in life, my opinion.
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Chatter, the mind wastes breath after breath, hour after hour needlessly…


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The untrained mind grasps, wanders, then follows these machinations day after day.
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Ask yourself, have I decided where my attention, thought, has been directed, today?
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Look, how often we are lost in the trees of confusion, the mind racing after worthless objects, unimportant, time wasting dysfunctional thought.
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We spend, waste so much time with the mind full of worthless, unimportant, trivial pursuits, influenced by emotion and moods.
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We need to be more psychopathic, when it comes to rumination, psychopaths are at the other end of the spectrum, never ruminating.
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Rumination is a dissociative fishing expedition of no value, no consequence.
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Ruminate with the negative emotions present, suffering will increase, the chance for happiness will fade.
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We need to train the mind to accept being empty, breathing slowly, being balanced, mind and body.
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Our mind habits, entertain to many thoughts, to many dissociative trips, to many fear based situations, to many moments spent with the mind racing, unaware, and lost.
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Try emptying the mind, opening the door to the expansive side, the uncluttered, wordless, our thoughtless intuitive power.
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Take action, live, smile, be happy, it is a choice.
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Healed, what has changed, approval, disapproval, criticism, happiness….


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My suffering was fueled by over-valuing approval, fearing criticism and the unworthiness to link my self worth to these mechanisms.
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Letting go of judgment can become habit, as grasping traumas storyline everyday, the consequences could not be more stark, more different, more life changing..
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I feel grounded, like the call to be somewhere else, needing to improve, needing to accomplish, needing to search for the solution, has gone silent.
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My acceptance of me, my acceptance of my current plight, my situation, my status, has freed me to let go, to be here, empty, present, alive, energized and smiling.
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My need for approval, the need to avoid criticism has lost power, lost interest, lost consequences and now faded.
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Life happens when we clear our mind, staying present for whatever arrives around that next bend.
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Mindfully, I see opportunity around the bend, I feel excitement for a new day in the shower, I see giving has blessed my spirit, and saved my life.
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Depression, has never come back around, since I started sitting quietly…..

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After my triple rollover on an American interstate, depression would visit and stay for days, seeming heavy, dark, weighty.
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Resembling a run away train, once started, depression stayed for a while, resisted any effort to be happy, so this gave me repose.
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I brought awareness to my thoughts and discovered a few days before depression launched itself, my thoughts turned negative and became voluminous.
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The breeding ground of depression , then, lies in dissociative thought.
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Thought opens the door to depression.
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Learn to let go, follow the breath and depression will never get a hold, enough duration to fire, enough energy to impact now.
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These mechanisms take time to evolve, grow and launch, that means dissociation is needed to fuel this operation.
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The simple skill of staying present, then letting go, has incredible power, influence on our life, happiness or suffering, our choice.
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Take action, let thought go.
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Update:..Mindfulness compared to the “Ego”—- war of the words….


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The ego grasps identity, needs approval, achievement, a sense of superiority.
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Mindfulness is about letting go, bringing perspective to desires.
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The ego is rigid and narrow, mindful flexible and expansive.
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The ego is created, mindful just is.
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The ego feels isolated, better or worse not equal, the mindful totally connected to one another and things.
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The ego is like a prison, the mindful freedom, the universe.
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The ego always needs, the mindful, fulfilled with life exactly like it is.
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The ego judges, the mindful accepts.
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The ego avoids, the mindful stays even when vulnerable.
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The ego has goals, the mindful a journey.
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The ego restricts growth, the mindful unlimited opportunity.
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The ego feels unworthy, the mindful complete.
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The ego races, the mindful enjoys, slows.
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The ego affiliates with anger, hate, resentment, the mindful has perspective and balance when expressing emotions.
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The ego is lonely, the mindful at peace.
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The ego is sad, the mindful happy.
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Mindfulness, away from theory, away from the benefits, the daily trudge is what challenges us.


Bowie my three year old grandson
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We are not super heroes, face no mythic enemies, have slain no dragons, climbed no mountain, discovered no new species, or found a cure for cancer, we have no special powers or it seems a life that impacts much of anything around us.
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We toil in obscurity for the most part, doubting ourselves, confused about what path or action is needed.
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Knowing intuitively, mindfully, from daily practice, which way to take action, now, is a learned skill, a powerful place to occupy, killing thought for a while.
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If you have doubt, the force of action is feeble, not committed and definitely not as a jock would attack it.
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What do we do with a mundane, seemingly boring existence?
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Me at 62, well I have moved under the same roof with my daughter and three Grandkids under six, my role, maid, the person who does the laundry, dishes, sweeps, vacuums, changes shitty diapers.
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This would seem a sacrifice for one who could travel the world and seek pleasure for himself, but mindfully, my support has blessed me with witnessing, being an intimate part of making sure my kid and her kids are protected, secure and safe, priceless.
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I have gotten enormous love, compassion and acceptance for my actions.
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Mindfulness is not seen easily in regular life, it is mundane, seemingly unimportant to the unfocused observer.
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A paradigm change for me—Happy. ….more places than I ever imagined….

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I always thought many of the dangerous (physical harm) situations in my life were absent of peace of mind and happy, not any more.
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Sometimes, my opinion, happy is saturated in the space where we risk us to protect another.
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I totally missed this gem of life and living.
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Mother Teresa comes to mind, think she is a lamb when seeking money, assistance or has to defend her flock, think again.
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Giving like this takes a lions heart.
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A recent shooting in an American theater demonstrated this vividly.
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The exits were in front, so an automatic weapon blocked their escape.
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Some of the guys, just on a date, not a lifetime mate, gave their lives shielding their dates from the bullets.
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How can we aspire to give more than these shiny examples.
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My awareness: wow, life is not what the ego presents to us daily, brought forth in random thoughts and judgments.
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The biggest influence, . the greatest power . we possess, . is where we place . our attention . from moment to moment. .


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The greatest strength
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lies
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not by defeating
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But by giving,
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Not by showing weakness
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but letting power fade,
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Not by thinking
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But by accepting,

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Not by judging
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But by forgiving,
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Not by going fast
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But slowing down.
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Not for me
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But for thee.
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Come on open your eyes, happiness is not hiding from you…..

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Happiness is thriving in this moment, mother Theresa has an overflowing chalice, in one of the most inhospitable spaces on earth.
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Why do you have such difficulty finding it?
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Happiness does not exist in that past delusion, and is allergic to anger, hate and doubt.
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Happiness is vacant in the past, not found in the future, stays away from the easy, and is a stranger to any ego.
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The ego and happiness are at odds.
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The ego is never equal to anyone, never truly happy, happy on the other hand, is available and the same for all, all day, right here right now.
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Happy arrives when the ego departs, it arrives in a vehicle called giving, caring and sharing.
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Happy can thrive in the smallest, mundane of spaces.
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Happy grows like weeds when we stoop down to offer another, a small act of kindness, love, consideration.
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Happiness, I see is everywhere, in every act of love, support and caring for others in spite of the ego.
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Happy is not stagnant, stale or ever boring, it is the grace, received from sharing and giving.
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Happiness is not sedentary but filled with life and action, it possesses incredible awareness and love.
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