Sergei Aparin
In meditation you must sit with your own mind and notice if there is a tendency to fantasize about the future or dwell in memories of the past. H.Poonja, one of my teachers, courtly informed disciples who indulged in stories of the past events that they living in a graveyard, digging up old corpses that have been dead for a long time.
In meditation you must dispel fascination with the content of your thoughts and stop retreating into a private world of imagination. You wake up to the present moment.
We always come back to a simple space of present moment not memories or thoughts. Be here, now with me to experience and live our lives again!
Posted by Marty on December 30, 2011 at 7:24 pm
It is habit for the ego to bring forth thoughts for me daily, and it is habit that my reaction is no reaction. I have found out being present without thought opens up freedom, tranquility and most of all opportunity.
Being able to exist, without the egos bias or influence around, changes the experience of living. No, we do not live here all the time, however if we have the ability to go here when needed, happiness is possible.
Just think if you developed the breathing track for a time of only two minutes most trigger thoughts would have missed us. Oh, yes cortisol levels drop each time we succeed. The breathing track is a skill that is easily developed with daily practice and kindness to ourselves.
Posted by kaitlots on December 30, 2011 at 9:04 pm
This post is great Marty, you said it best here: “you must dispel fascination with the content of your thoughts” I know for me I get so caught up with my thoughts and story! LIke I needed to keep digging and digging and find some magical cure/answer to all this: these oh-so real fears, the physical pain, the anxiety,…and I don’t it really is just me (thinking) I am reliving trauma. It can feel powerful sure, but nothing has brought me more relief than the few moments, (as I am learning to develop them into longer moments) of being present. And most of the time (if I dont react), after time has past, I can look at the triggers and see them for what they are, just triggers; not earth-shattering trauma about to be inflicted, at all.
Posted by kaitlots on December 30, 2011 at 9:11 pm
The other thing that I have come to realize, with the ‘fascination with content of thoughts’ is for me anyway, even though I didn’t think I was fascinated w/ my ptsd/fears/anxiety, some part of me was. It served some sort of (even subconscious) purpose, I wouldn’t dive right into the endless cycle like I did. Maybe it was the ego keeping me distracted. One thing I have been doing instead of fighting these thoughts tooth and nail is say to them “I release the need for this in my life anymore” because through this mindfulness, being present work I have learned fighting and engaging that stuff does NOTHING for me
Posted by Marty on December 30, 2011 at 11:38 pm
It’s purpose is to follow the ego’s direction, reinforcing the trauma thoughts. That is what we created and then stopped paying attention to.
The ego can not rule us unless with give it our power. We have unknowingly but now you know better.
Practice not reacting. Find strength of character resisting the lure of emotional engagement.