Scenario: We arrived at a high-end luxurious buffet at a five-star restaurant.
The entrée is first; lobster, filet, chicken, pork, lasagna or something you spot. When does the desire for your choice begin. Feel the draw, the strength and perceived satisfaction or pleasure to be enjoyed. Now, we move forward.
When does the desire for the entrée stop and the next desire for a certain type of side dish, begin. Does it stop when you start to select or does it stop after the desire for your next choice begins? Does the desire for the side dish match the desire for the entrée? Now move on to the salad choices.
Familiarize yourself with the ebb and flow of desire. Check out if the satisfaction meets the desire. Does desire stop with the satisfaction of our desires at any time?
What judgements have we made of this meal to past meals, past desires, past satisfaction
Posted by kaitlots on December 14, 2011 at 9:20 pm
I am a little confused by this post. I feel like my desires are always on to whats next. Like, after I pick an entree, I am immediately looking/thinking ‘oooh, whats next? What else is there?’ If that makes sense. I am not sure there is any satisfaction matched to it, just desire?
Posted by Alex on December 14, 2011 at 10:51 pm
I found myself laughing while reading this interesting post because even my eyes seemed to be scanning the text for what some sort of extra delight – my ego really knows no bounds and it is the exception that satisfaction matches my perceived desire.
Katie, I want to tell you how exciting it is to see your wonderous grasp of the
Breathing Model and how It can gracefully quiet ones mind so that the present moment becomes clearer and focused – BRAVO – and Much Love, Alex
Posted by Marty on December 14, 2011 at 11:22 pm
Are you going so fast that satisfaction is altogether skipped. PTSD has a way of speeding things up, us trying to avoid the uncomfortable or scary feeling and sensations. when I find myself like that, I bring myself back to this moment and bring awareness to a task..
if you start watching desire and see how the ego lures us, a pattern may reveal itself.
As you say if no satisfaction is gained how is the desire retained.
Please describe what happiness looks like for you?
Posted by kaitlots on December 15, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Yes Marty I think so. I think I always do that – skip the satisfaction, its always like ‘whats next!’ or ‘if this is good, is there something that tastes even better?’
Happiness to me would be contentment. Just satisfied in any moment.
Posted by Marty on December 15, 2011 at 2:19 pm
So Kaity before you is a speed that awareness has left the area of your life. How does desire continue without any received satifaction except it staves off starvation.
here comes a post on What is happiness. Responses and questions just create new posts so often.
Posted by kaitlots on December 15, 2011 at 2:29 pm
I think the desires are there, but never get fulfilled if that makes sense. Like my ego is always in a state of wanting more.
Posted by Marty on December 15, 2011 at 2:47 pm
That ego is racing you right past your life it seems. Crazy that we get desires, expend energy to attain but spend no time enjoying them. does that seem productive to you.
Posted by kaitlots on December 15, 2011 at 3:12 pm
No it doesn’t!
Posted by Marty on December 15, 2011 at 3:26 pm
I will say that judgment we are going to keep. Then bring awareness and slow down the process and see who is such a rush. It seems something senses danger or pain around desire, maybe abandonmnet or some other childhood trauma. It does not matter why to heal.
This is how we discover our true self, slowing down letting the ego rest. Then we can see clearly without bias.
Posted by kaitlots on December 15, 2011 at 4:06 pm
YES! It is almost like I will have a real desire for something, attain it and something steps in and says ‘don’t enjoy it too much, or it won’t last anyway’.
This is unreal when you start to become aware of this. I need to stay present and enjoy the satisfaction of attaining; even if it’s just a bowl of my favorate ice cream. Instead of wanting the ice cream, getting it, and eating it while saying to myself ‘oh boy, this will make me fat’, LOL.
Posted by holly kessler on December 21, 2011 at 5:46 am
Ive heard people with ptsd or with past sexual trauma have lower desire and or pleasure scale. i feel like i am one of these. Holly sue
is this true?
Posted by Marty on December 21, 2011 at 3:05 pm
Depression brings a feeling of numbness, no desire sort of.
With PTSD we desire many things, approval, safety, happiness and an end to the fear and panic. We desire to be who we were before PTSD stole our life.
We shut down pleasure and look to protect ourselves. Hard to have pleasure when we are filled with cortisol and fear.
Holly you know the answer now, but I wonder if you know this disorder is not permanent and can be healed with daily practice. It takes small shifts to move and improve. PTSD is impermanent and can be improved, and we can live a calmer more fulfilled existence. Good luck.
Posted by Marty on May 6, 2012 at 3:45 pm
I back away from desires, judgments and certain emotions as habit now. When my ego wants to be angry, shamed, guilty or resentful, I go to my breathing track or breath.
I breathe and go under the cognitive functioning or ego and let it go.
I do not not have to own or grasp at thoughts, judgments mine or others, if I choose not.
WHen I eat or prepare a meal, I have learned to enter that space. First I ask myself why am I doing this, the goal. Basic, is sustenance and taking care of my being. Then for hunger and if I acknowledge I am here to prepare the best meal with the ingredients that are available, then lunch becomes something else than getting the cooking out of the way.
We get to many things out of the way being mindless. Look at how much of our life is lost in thought in judging things especially us. We have a negative axis in our minds from childhood. Now we know how to reprogram that part, easily, in small awareness moments.
I try to savor all that is before me. I know that much of my life was wasted lost in thought about me, am I flawed, incapable of being normal. I thought I needed to do superhuman things just to be accepted and that acceptance seemed always precarious and at risk.
If our self image mirrors a helpless victim suffering from things out of our control, nothing can bring true happiness.
Discover your inner world and the perfect partof you, ride the breathing track and be mindfull.