Internal dialogue, self talk,,,,,,, how do we change a PTSD sufferers negative self talk, image?bh

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Edward Bourne: self-talk;
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“It is so automatic and subtle you don’t notice it or the effect it has on your moods and feelings. It appears in telegraphic form- one short word or image (”Oh no!) contains a whole series of thoughts, memories, or associations.”
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How do we change this?
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Affirmations combined with a mindfulness practice.
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Yes, self image, self worth and how we talk internally are connected, interdependent on each other.
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I strive with all out effort to let go of judgment and to accept myself and my situation in life totally, bringing awareness and peace of mind to my spirit.
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Record, repeat, say out loud each morning, noon and night.
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Small, daily practices, change the mind, alter its negative functioning drastically.
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Another, very simple, concrete, immediate action that alters connections, structure in the brain. Grey matter density and volume can increase or decrease.
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We have enormous power to influency the way the brain/mind is wired and functions.
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Sedentary is closer to suffering, death: ,,,, action, life and living!i

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I don’t regret the things I’ve done,
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I regret the things I didn’t do
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when I had the chance.”
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– Unknown_. Probably a PTSD sufferer.
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Accept, focus, let go, be present, take some action, live.
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Davidson: Compassion meditation!

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“From this, we concluded that compassion meditation produces a trio of changes.
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First, it decreases personal distress, as reflected in decreased activation of the amygdala.
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Second, it increases activation in regions of the brain associated with goal-directed behavior, as reflected in increased activation of the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (the goal in this case is to relieve the suffering of the player who gets taken advantage of by another player).
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Third, it increases the connectivity between the prefrontal cortex, the insula (where representations of the body occur), and the nucleus accumbens (where motivation and reward are processed).
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Rather than becoming depressed by suffering, people who are trained in compassion meditation develop a strong disposition to alleviate suffering and to wish others to be happy.”
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Remember me saying we carry happiness with us? This sounds close

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Davidson, “Emotional life of your brain”: on the monks studied;
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“Even more intriguing to me than the increase in neural synchrony during meditation were the EEG readings from when the monks were in their baseline state—resting quietly but not meditating.
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Here, too, gamma activity and neural synchrony were significantly greater than in the controls.
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This was a hint that meditation is not only marked by characteristic patterns of brain activity (which isn’t that surprising, really),
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but that it produces
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enduring increases
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in gamma activity and neural synchrony.”
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Sounds like these gamma rays are an indicator of a happy life, existence and meditation packs it into a traveling suitcase, like I said before.
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We carry our happiness, peace of mind, when we can let go of doubt worry, accept us and be present.
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Risk feeling awkward, extend a little farther. Try a little harder, effort is our concern not results.

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Risk more than others think is safe.
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Care more than others think is wise.
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Dream more than others think is practical.
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Expect more than others think is possible.
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-Claude Bissell
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My journey with irrational fear:

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Irrational fear, fear based on trauma memories, implicit memories stored in the amygdala, are not grounded in reality or do they pose a real in this moment threat to our being. Perception becomes our reality when we believe the storyline, because the physical changes, cortisol and adrenaline and the body preparing for a lethal threat happens.

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I knew fear from the earliest remembrance as a child, coldness, loneliness, violence, and unworthiness were his companions. My father never wanted me to be settled, he desired to keep me under constant strain, pressure and criticism to develop the superior athlete.
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For some reason my father could not give warmth, any compliment, any touching or kind feeling. He was a pure narcissist, I was an object for his gratification. Looking back, he was so insecure, narcissists are fragile but not to a small child.
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Luckily my father demanded I be twice as good as anyone else at sports. It was a place I could have identity, self worth, achievement and some social status. It was my lifeline, my escape, my form that would build incredible discipline and willpower to survive my dad.
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I feared people would see how unworthy, how flawed, how undeserving I was. I actually believed I was damaged to my core, incapable of repair, permanently flawed. I questioned about my right to exist. Fear would isolate me, and bring suffering.
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My father never uttered a kind word in my direction. A whole childhood, he never slipped, never comforted me. He wanted me to be a warrior, to not have feelings, to do his bidding and let him take credit for my accomplishments. It was the gold standard for him. His proclivity to coach or produce a professional athlete validated him in many ways.
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That was his identity. Looking back, how sad.
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continued:
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Write down your fears, scary intrusive thoughts, your triggered ideas!

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We can distort, avoid and enlarge our fears through behaviour.
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A fear can grow to enormous stature inside my head,,inside my body filled with cortisol, stressed to the point of snapping, avoidance my first repose.
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When I wrote my fears down, then the perceived consequences, it was almost comical, however I was suffering extensively from this absurdity, this disorder.
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Trauma fears, PTSD fears make no sense, are not logical and we rarely get actual consequences from our triggers.
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Over and over again, my adrenal response mechanism would fire, lighting up my nervous system, spilling fear, cortisol and adrenaline throughout my being, without consequence.
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In a while the trigger would run its course and I would return to normal, a resting state. Normal is something which I do not pretend to know its boundaries.
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I was never damaged but would always fear my fear until I could not leave my garage for 6 months.
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Agoraphobia gripped my ass like the jaws of life. Suffering was minute to minute, a day like a week.
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Looking back, I can not explain it, why I acted so irrationally, so harmfully without consequences.
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Notice after a trigger, the condition of your body. Any permanent damage. Write it down and see when you get to ten triggers the consequences.
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If there are none, ask yourself why you serve this demon?
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