As I enter the real mindfulness group I am reminded of what I will encounter, sufferers????


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I am cautioned that mental illness has a stigma, a feeling, a reason why 22 vets commit suicide daily.
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Please Excuse me, I see no stigma, I feel no stigma, I feel empowered, free to be here.
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Childhood trauma does not stigmatize me, my life, it empowers me, I can stay present and try, no matter what life brings today.
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I feel strength, confidence, exuberance from my journey, no loss, no sadness or suffering, jubilation and excitement, instead.
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This is a byproduct of mindfulness and letting go.
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Stigma is the opposite of what a mind, ballasted with inner peace, experiences.
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Trust me, take action, try, smile, enjoy the journey, it is real life, happiness is just a little deeper down than you are used to peering.
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Come with me, let go of that doubt, unclasp that fear, unshackled that mind, let go, live for real.
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Follow me, I do not have all the answers, do not care to know them, however, I do know the path to freedom, I do know how to lead you out of the desert (trauma).
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Unencumbered, letting go….


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From the abstract through the finite, arriving at now, unencumbered by memories or desire, life comes alive.
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No matter the challenges faced, the insurmountable odds endured, letting go frees us, to be here, simply, in a simple space.
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My spiritual space is simple, focus, let go, support, give, then live.
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Finite, the breath and hearing quite current, the pauses, the door to release the egos torrent.
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Give up needing certain results, controlling does nothing but limit freedom, our effort, our attitude.
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Trust, let go, surrender if using courage is your credo.
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Not doing, achieving, conquering, defeating is part of life’s balance, not overachieving, obsessing, worrying.
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For every action, balance with non action, achieving balanced by just doing.
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Not winning, not being special, not needing to fulfill a desire is closer to happiness.
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Happy Easter. A thought…..holidays may bring anxiety, terror, trauma


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Holidays seem hollow when family is the enemy, no celebration here, just reminders of past hurt from caregivers.
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We must make new families, new ties, bonds with caring people, not abusers.
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Let go of any idea, we are flawed, incomplete, or damaged goods.
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We have developed skills, developed under cruelty and dysfunction, while others have lived a supportive and loving childhood.
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We are perfect, our self worth completely in tact, just buried under some of this crap, undamaged, permanent, glowing, teaming with unfulfilled opportunity.
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The anchor of guilt rides in the saddle of our perpetrators, not with us, innocent children, a captive audience of childhood trauma.
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We can be proud, know our trauma is a challenge, not a life sentence, a temporary event.
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There exists a way out, a new beginning, a new life, a miracle awaiting.
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Live, let go, blossom, rejoice, our Easter celebrates our independence, our journey.
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Mistakes do not matter, living fully now, the only standard, then we die.,,,,


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This sentence rolled out of a creative space, exposed to the light of day, a credo of sorts, the only standard, I am a believer.
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Attitude,,spirit, heart, intention carry the day.
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Action all the way.
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Thought moves not a stone, intention, effort plows the earth, uncovers the universe.
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Let go, surrender, strength, unused becomes power for the soul.
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Flawed, does not mean sad, does not mean my effort not intense, my zest for life not substantial, my spirit not supernatural.
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Life, may be more a battle between the ears than between people or external influence.
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Why battle, accept, surrender, prepare life for a miracle, set the table, let go of thought, of distraction, of the impermanent, of the least important, actually, folly.
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Simplify life this week, breathe, just be.
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Most of our Suffering, is invented, thought about, desired at one time…..

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Inventions
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of desire,
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A created
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need,
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to satisfy
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a created
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“EGO”,
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Invented
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For
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Identity.
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Not
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Direction
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Dissociatively
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Driven.
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Disconnected,
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Out of touch
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Absurd
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Unreal
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Life
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wasted.

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This person has started to reveal himself to me, for most of my life a total stranger.

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Flawed, uncovered, exposed, released from the fear of disapproval or unworthiness; happiness at some level, some intensity, is my constant companion.
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My world has calmed, peace of mind has taken root, whatever is before me, is exactly correct, accepted, if I possess the strength to let go.
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The panic, the anxiety of worrying about performance, competence or even perfection, has subsided.
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My mind has learned to be aware, let go, be calm, breathe and most of all accept, surrender, just be.
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My spirit seems to soar lately, not emotionally but at a much longer duration of time, days are turning into weeks.
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My meditation practice is simple, consistent, breathe and let go, all this other stuff happens on its own, somehow.
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Life can transform, externally nothing has changed, life’s challenges have increased, the change is just letting go, being here to live it.
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The change is within.
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Things that have been endured, accepted in the face of suffering…


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Things that have been endured, accepted in the face of suffering, embraced without judgment, have remained by my side, companions, as permanent as anything I know.
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Achievement, victory, defeat or loss have faded without interest or concern.
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Not being satisfied with intention, giving through action, has transcended my beliefs, my judgements, my flaws, and then, my spirit appeared, permanent, glistening.
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By willpower and action alone, a life has been transformed, once lost, rudderless, now at peace, at home.
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It takes practice to accept right now, the sticky situations, the negative, the unknown, our plight and ranking in society without reaction, without want for more.
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There is no more, only inventions of desire, a created need to satisfy a created ego, dissociatively acted out on this parallel stage of past trauma.
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We chase our own tails, entertaining for a dog for a moment, lacking in any real living, or happiness for a human.
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A feeble existence.
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